We all choose our masters.... choose wisely.

I know many a person that pride themselves in being their own master but are they really?  Do any of us actually master our own lives?  I know that I have never for one moment mastered my own, spiritually or physically.  We are all born, no not one of us is made or cloned, we are born of and from someone else's body.  We are born their child, we are theirs to rule for as long as they can or chose to.  Eventually we break free of their rule and become our own masters, really?  In times past, and really until very recent times woman had not this luxury, in some areas of the world they still do not, did you know that until 1972 rape in America was a theft crime? really I am not kidding.  Until that time if a woman was raped it was a crime against a man's possession, some one stole something from a man, yes here in America, so not so long ago, in reality no woman in America  had the right to mastery of their own life. Really.  Do any of us really think that we master our own lives any way.  We are generally mastered by a parent, a spouse, a partner, a job, a law or any number of the statues that we live in, and by, in our societal settings.  No one is an island and therefore truly free unto themselves, and that is just on the physical level.  Spiritually we all are mastered by either the light or the dark, God or Satan, you don't think so, well I hope that you don't go into the hereafter still believing that or you will have a reckoning you will not be prepared for, how sad to live in hell, where the fire that will never be quenched will abound.

Mark 9:43-48

King James Version (KJV)

⁴³ And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
⁴⁴ Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
⁴⁵ And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
⁴⁶ Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
⁴⁷ And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
⁴⁸ Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

We all choose our lives paths.  We all choose our masters.  We all have a choice and we all have to live with the choices we make.  We all have the freewill to make the choices in our lives.  We all choose our masters.    It is most assuredly about that as the most important thing we will ever do.  Being a good person, a good parent, a good anything will fall short in the end, life is about faith, knowing, reckoning and yielding to the master of our souls.  Choose your master well, you will have to live in eternity with the choice you make...... tomorrow.

Death is a given but how we approach it is a personal choice..... CAKLs...

I went to CAKLs yesterday, I always love when I can manage to get away and join my friends.  When it first started it was getting together with a group of ladies to share our love of fiber arts and crafts, which it still is, but today it is so much more than that.  The ladies that come regularly, the core group, are my friends on all levels that account for friendship.  No, most of them have never been to my house, nor I theirs, but they are my friends.  We laugh together, we have cried together at the loss in one of our lives, the births, the deaths and the successes have all been shared and spoken on.  We are friends and that is the best part of the whole process.  Friendship is something that is truly rare, given from God and should never be taken lightly,  seems in this day and age they are so many times, less true and honest, so they are a treasures more precious than gold.  I love the ladies in our group as they are my friends and that is the highest of things in any life.

We had a conversation about medicine and death yesterday.  We began the conversation about the passing of a lovely young woman, she was just 53, she had denied her own suspicions and had not gone to the doctor and in the end died when maybe something could have been done to change her passing.  One of the ladies said that God was the answer and pray makes the difference, and it does, but others thought that God also wants us to take advantage of the talents that we are given in this life, and that doctors are given their talents for a purpose, as are we all, to help conquer diseases in a physical way, hand in hand with prayer.  I put forth that I thought that God knew the hour of our death and that that can not be changed but that the quality of the time we live on earth is able to be changed by the choices we seek.  I must admit all the Ladies are Christian so they were all in agreement of that fact and maybe the different views of the hows did have a consensus point after all.  I love the conversations we have as they are always enlightening, always honest, sometimes continuous, but most of all always worth the effort to participate.  We are a group of diversity, educated, self educated, liberal, conservative, seasoned and midlife, no, as yet we don't have a representative from the young that has stayed, maybe we are boring to them but someday they will come, and stay, and they will be embraced into our realm.  Alas, I salute the Ladies of CAKLs, without you I am the lesser, you make me the better for having known you all and for your having allowed me to be one of you.... tomorrow.

Donuts, Second week of baskets, our tub runneth over......

Today there will be no pre-school for Cubbie.  Last night Pre-school let us know that she had been attacked by a dog.  She had to have stitches and will be able to be at the bi-weekly group pre-school on Friday.  She got bit in the face and is on the mend.  All my thoughts and prayers are with her as she heals, it might have some  complications in the future and I hope all works out well in the end.  It is so sad when a family pet hurts someone.  Both the victim and the owners are devastated, one physically and both mentally, the end result is never good.

I made donuts for the Ladies, Poppie and the grands yesterday.  Bug doesn't like donuts, he doesn't like anything sweet much so we were not saddened that he did not share in our treat.  I made a cross between the family spudnut recipe and a sourdough donut recipe, both of which I have made on their own but the combo was better than either recipe I had made before so a great thing.  I was just getting ready to fry them when Booboo came home from school. She was so excited and jumped in both feet to help me.  She helped make up the glaze.  I cut all the donuts, and heated the oil.  They raised especially well, the combo recipe definitely good, I will be writing it down in our own family recipe book, you know the one where we acknowledge all the old recipes and the new ones we come up with.  I actually have one in it that Bug hand wrote, it is a silly recipe, more of a combination of cans and stuff from can's but he proudly wrote it in. "Ass Burn Chili"  I guess it can stay more for posterity than me ever using it.   Some times one can do nothing more than shake you head and wonder....  I digress.  The donuts were light, fluffy and yummy.  I made two jelly filled ones for Poppie, the center cooked up perfectly but I will have to work on my jelly filling technique.  All were happy with the results and almost all of the donuts got ate.  Cubbie and Boy took a tray home to eat, they had to eat dinner before they got to have theirs. 

This week is the second week of contributions for Bountiful Baskets.  We are so excited, it should run a little smoother, we hope we will have our baskets.  We should be getting a good routine started and maybe attracting more people to use the co-op.  I love answering any questions that people have about the co-op.  Word of mouth advertisement is the best kind and seems to travel as fast as gossip and we know how that spreads.  Bug even told someone about it and I got to give the details to a lady when he called me to explain it to her.  Fun.  Can't wait for the second coming....

I was tired last night after making dinner, and the donuts, so I jokingly asked Yogie to run me a bath, much like I have a dozen time this last year.  She laughed like normal and I thought nothing more of it.  I was sitting on the love seat awhile later, answering questions for Mokie as she did her taxes.  I heard the oddest sound but it really didn't resinate with me.  I was sitting there a little later and heard it again, it was a waterfall sound, which just didn't mesh with the sounds that I should have been hearing.  It is usually chaos in the house so sounds have to be really odd to draw my attention.  It dawned on me in a heart beat what the sound was.  I looked into my bathroom and sure enough there was a whole field of bubble afloat on my garden tube. I could see it like a mountain island towering out of a great ocean, all the way in the front room.  I said "the tube is running over."  I had no idea Yogie actually ran the tube and forgot it.  Poppie ran in to stop the water, he and Yogie used the carpet scrubber to suck up all the water, it took quite awhile, it was ice cold so it had been running a long time.  Oh, sad day, I did not get my bath, and I did not get to enjoy a bubble bath ran especially for me, alas maybe next time I will, I just hope in that future time the rug doesn't get my special treat.  I hope you have a great day and remember to keep the Lord in you foremost thoughts, he loves us and we need him everyday... tomorrow.

An alone morning, a blessing.... yarn, cleaning and ?

I am alone, this morning in this house that rarely happens, for the most part I am usually not all that comfortable being alone.  I have never spent much time alone so I don't normally seek it out.  I think it is because my life has always been so full of people I just got used to the overload of noise and motion.  It almost makes me uncomfortable in total silence.  I think that is why the TV's in our house are never turned off, they time out sometimes and sometime no one puts them back on but we don't shut them off.  I am of the firm belief that because they are always background noise they aren't a forbidden want of treat.  They, we have 4, are mostly on the news, children's programing or a educationally channel, well except for Bug he likes stupid stuff and tends to cause TV havoc, but when it is just us it is the reason my mind is full of so much useless trivia.  Now you know why I know the oddest fact that no one needs to know or why I know about some odd bit to news from Timbuktu.  I digress.  I am alone with news talking about the 28 anniversary of "we are the world",  see I told you.  Anyway.  I am enjoying my time of alone,  I have studied the Bible for the last two hours.  The Ladies and I read, they studied their latest parables, Booboo has 12 verses and Yogie 10, Booboo is almost done learning hers Yogie is behind a little but in the end Yogie will have it miraculously learned with less mistakes than Booboo.  Booboo over thinks it and lets, unassurance be a stumbling block to her.  I have been studying about Good and Bad Soul-ties, and Roman's 6.  It was an interesting perspective.  I am well into the second of a hole stack of books that we got to have when the Preacher was cleaning out his library.  The first book I read was a dissertation of I Corinthians by M.R. De Haan, he died when I was five so it is an older book but the insights really spoke to me.  I went ahead and bid on 6 more books that he wrote on Ebay, I won 3, so the Lord must have thought those were the ones I should study next.  I do like his writing.  The book I am working on now is a little more out there.  It is a two book series on spiritual warfare by a contemporary Minister.  I am not sure I agree with all of his writing but some of it is really good questions for my soul.  The chapter today was a great one, the last chapter was an odd perspective, but it did make me spend a whole morning of study in the Bible to see it that is what I think it actually said so maybe that was God's point for me.  I didn't really agree in the end but I did get a better concept of what I thought bonding and loosing was about, I also read many an opinion on the Internet about the subject so now I have a concept, with all the input digested, of what I think God is saying to me on the subject.  I think in the end that is what God wants of us in any study of his word, what others think taken in to perspective, but alas the Word is a personal message to you from God and you have to discern what it is he is actually saying to you.  God is always personal or he wouldn't be Our Savior.

I am hoping to get to make more of my rug with the t-shirt yarn I am making.  I do have to get some more tees, I can't wait to dye some to make a funky project.  Lady suggested I teach the girls to make totes that might be just the thing.   Bug called me a hippy yesterday.  I told him I was to young to be a hippy, the young they have to concept of time.  I am well on 10 years to young.  I admit to being a homesteader, to old to be a granola, I am an upcycler have been all my life long before it was vogue but I am not a hippy.  Sometimes I think I might have liked to have been one but you can't lay claim to something you are or were not.  He just laughed, details are important don't you know, and 10 years is much more than a detail.....  Moving on, no need to poke.  I may just make a cake, Booboo and I made huckleberry Chutney, it turned out great, she is so proud of her accomplishment.  She ended up with 3 pints, we didn't can them but she is going to gift one to Lady, she can't wait to share.  She is really my baker, cook and chemist.  I am a dabbler and am never satisfied with the recipes,  I am of the firm belief make it once by the recipe and then the sky is the limit to play.  Poor thing she hasn't a chance not to be a chemist in the kitchen.  I am thinking I will treat them with a cake or a huckleberry bread when they get home.  I found that we still have a lot more than I thought we had in the freezer.  It is the first time I have had so many huckleberries, I can be charitable with their use, such a blessing the Lord gave us.  Off to start may day alone, no kids, Poppie will come home when I am at my wits ends of being alone and that will be nice, now to fill up the alone.... tomorrow.

I was grumpy, not sure why maybe just needed to be?

I know I have said before that I was an anger 20 something, I still contemplate the why's and why nots.  I have many a theory and they do run the gambit but in the end it was me that was anger and grumpy so it was my issue and no one else's.  I spent a lot of my 30's in depression from I am sure, in hindsight, clinically to maybe just SAD, but I was and that I can not change either.  My 40's was a wondrous change for me.  I was probably the happiest I was in my whole adult life, okay so most children love their childhood and I was not different.  I got to start my adult life anew in many respects.  I got to become a mommy again, quite out of the blue, can you say Surprise, but God never gives us things we can not handle.  I have weathered a lot of different situations in my life, many an up and many a downs.  I am now into my 50's in so many ways it is a lot like my 40's still enjoying my Ladies, loving my grands, most of the time, though there are times I just want to runaway and hide from them.  I know that some of you gasp at the thought, but here I get to be honest.  If I can't be honest with myself than who can I be honest with.  I know most of you think that I make stuff up or plot and plan out what I am going to say daily but the is not the case.  I never take time to think out any of what I type I sit at my laptop and just begin.  I try to write to myself much like I would to my diary, if I kept one, sort of like my beloved Gladys would have I suppose.  If I over thought that I was writing to some many people who might just happen to pop in an read I would freeze up like a deer in the headlights.  I just write to me.  So, you get the raw, the stupid, the anger, the sad and the loving,  you get me being me, not always pretty but pretty much plain simple and honest. 

I spent most of yesterday grumpy, I am not sure really why.  I had a hair trigger when anyone snapped at me or had to be asked more than once to do what I asked them  I yelled for the first time in a very long time at the littlest provocation.  I however didn't use any bad words, well I don't remember using any and think I was nice.... hmmm.  I once, in my 20 and 30 really did have a hard time not cussing, and I really try never to use bad words now... I digress.  Anyway, I just seemed to be spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere.  I did have some tooth pain, and some imaginary tooth pain, I had heard that you could have toothaches if you had a mouth full of dentures but never really got the full concept before, I understand it now.   I tried to grind meat but the schedule and the grinder didn't want to cooperate.  Did you ever feel like had you just stayed in bed you would have been better off?  I guess that is the kind of day I had.  I don't like to have them, they kind of scare me, I fear they could be like a seed and grow into something horrible, I have been there and I do not want to revisit such a time.  I ended up reading my Bible and taking some pain pills.  Relief on two fronts so to speak.  I do owe my girls some quality time today, some reading time and so talking time.  I think I sometimes just get overwhelmed and no not how to ask or beg for help.  I am learning but something new always comes up and I have to take that as the priority to help with.  I guess I just have to ask the Lord for more help, more guidance and know that in this life we have little time for rest but must stay on task to the goals, heaven awaits us in glory...... tomorrow.

Will be grinding today, socks done, basketball and NO Grands!

I didn't get the grinding done yesterday, Poppie wouldn't let me, said to much going on, he was the smarter for nixing my plans.  So today we grind, love the we in that.   Some days the kids are a lot more work than other days, and some weeks they are a lot more of everything than others and this week was one of those.  I am not sure if it was me or if it was Lady telling me how tired she was from her grands this week.  I guess it has become so much of my normal daily routine that I have forgotten how tired it makes me sometimes.  I am old and maybe it is just the habit that has made my CRS cloud my mind to how tiring they can be.  It was good to be reminded on some levels but by last evening I was ready for a weekend without them.  No grands until Tuesday.  Yay, well they will come over to visit I am sure, ones in the other room now waiting for Poppie to take him and the girls to basketball (practise this morning and a game this afternoon) but I can send them home anytime. I don't have to be screamed at by Bubbles, or fight with her to speak and not yell,  I don't have to have Cubbie's naughty little finger shook at me and then have to give her a lecture before she gets to stand in the corner until she has a nice apology for Nannie.  I don't have to referee any squabbles between Boy and his sisters or Boy and the Ladies.  I don't have to save Bubbles from falling off of the counter she has climbed on, oh that she was a normal 13 month old who was only just getting to be a good walker and not a runner that thinks climbing is her forte. I won't miss getting her away from my PC because she thinks it is fun because Mokie and Poppie both play pinball with her on their laps,  it is nice that my laptop is no fun as she has no idea it plays games as I don't let them us my laptop to play, think what she would do to it if it held any interest for her.  Yay, no Grands today!!

I made a Granny Smith pie and a Peach pie yesterday.  I made the crust with my old reliable recipe but I used coconut oil instead of lard or butter.  It turned out wonderful, I love the fats that God gave us and not the ones that the chemists made.  I am not of the persuasion that advertising, and pay outs to Doctors, makes that garbage they want us to use is better for our health than the fats and foods he gave us are.  The closer to the ground you eat the better off you are.  Off the soapbox and going on.  Cubbie got to help with the crust she was so proud.  Bubbles got to watch, you know the saying keep your friend close but your enemies closer, Bubble is in the category some days, who would want to loose a tornado in a house?  I finished the socks for Yogie, and trimmed up some t-shirts to cut into yarn, so excited.  I am going to go to our local thrifty store, soon as it opens from the winter layoff, and get some fun colors.  I did look up the cutting methods that Lady had advised me of on the Internet, it showed both of the ways I was doing it so I guess I was on the curve.  I do need to get my rotary cutter out, well when Bubbles and Cubbie aren't about,  just the thought of that gives me shivers.... hmmm, no, lets not think of it.

I worked on my log cabin rug with the t-shirt yarn and it is coming along great, it is kind of exciting to watch it progress.  It is stretcher than the old cotton rugs I made as a kid, we made braided ones, crocheted ones and knitted ones, this one has a whole different feel which it really nice.  It is lighter and heavier all at the same time,  it is just different lets say, so a blessing.  I read the shark book to Cubbie in my spare time yesterday,  she was excited at the variety their was,  she did tell me thank you "because crocodiles and sharks are her favorites" don't you know...... May the Lord bless your day,  remember to take advantage of your prayer closet because the Lord so loves to speak to you and hear you praises of Love.  Nothing like a relationship with Our Lord, it is indescribable, and unimaginably rewarding, oh, that I could share with you my joy, but I can't it is something you have to experience one on one for yourself.  I hope you seek out your own relationship with the Lord.... tomorrow.

Grinding to do today, Jelly made, yarn to make and the last sock for Yogie.

Booboo and I made jelly from the strawberries we got as add ons from Bountiful baskets, with the ones in the basket as well we got 12 pints of jelly, Mokie and I had shared a case.  Booboo was very proud of her accomplishment, Yogie and Poppie just liked the jelly.  The girls and Boy had their first basket ball games, the kids were all a little afraid of the ball but you have to start somewhere and then work up.  They had a great time and that is what counts.  Their second game is Saturday.  I have meat to grind today.  I got the brisket and the pork loin thawed, now to get the goats in and ready to grind the three together.  I am going to make some into sausage and some into a burger of the three. 

I made more t-shirt yarn yesterday and am working on a log cabin patterned rug for the living room.  It will be fun to see how it develops.  Lady took one of the balls I made to see how it crochets up and is now sold on cutting her old tees up as well, it is positively addicting to get free yarn from old items we no longer need, the definition of upcycling, isn't it?  She did say there is a quicker way to cut on line so I will check it out,  I did cut the ones differently yesterday than the ones I did the first couple days so I will see if it is different than what I have come up with, faster in cutting is almost always better. 

I do have to finish Yogies last sock, she has been patient.  Booboo and Poppie are enjoying their finished socks so I have to get on it today and finish up her last sock and both heels.  I have the little girls today.  I swear that one never gets anything done chasing after littles,  I guess that that is the tale of my life, when I get one set up and ready to give me time to do things a new wave comes.....  Well off to work around the antics of littles and try to actually get some of the chores on my list done, and maybe some of the real chores too.  Poppie is a dear and has been helping me do spring cleaning things, he is really bored and the winter is so cold he can't do anything outside, my win I would say.  I hope that the Lord talks to you in a meaningful way and brings you closer to him.... tomorrow.

Little girls fun, the Lord does see and does always answer prayers...

My day started early, on many levels yesterday,  I tend to be an early riser and so therefore am almost always early to bed.  I don't always jump up and scurry about when I do get up, I check on the news, usually Fox, we do Bible study, we read and then at 7 the ladies begin to get ready for their days.  Yesterday first on my agenda was helping Sister do taxes, which took up part of the morning.  We had time to share the Lords word which was nice and a extra special way to start the day.  Poppie came home so Cubbie and I were off on our date at Ladies and her GrandGirl, her little GrandBoy was there as well. We started with some nice coffee and Lady helped the two little ladies mix up a cake to put into the special pan GrandGirl's mom had sent to make cake pops, yay! Such fun for the little ones.  They both we told to lick their fingers at the end, but you know cake batter and little Ladies, the temptation was to great and their little fingers sneaked into their mouths.  Cake batter is so yummy don't you know, then they would giggle getting to know one another better.  They were soon playing horses in Dora's wonderland and filling her castle with furniture.  Lady had play dough and gel markers to play with to keep their little minds busy.   Soon the little cake pop cakes had cooled and then it was time for dipping and sprinkling.  Little GrandBoy was happy to have the girls to play with, he really liked the melted white chocolate and the sprinkles, I am thinking on his fingers made him as happy as on the cakes.  The sprinkles were getting eaten on coated fingers faster than they made their way to the pops.  All the littles had a great time, Lady had made a wondrous place of childhood fun and memories.  Cubbie said as we left "Nannie can She come spend the night with me?"  I said I thought we would go play again soon and that would be lots of fun.....  We have additional plans for today so they will get to play again.

It was funny, Ironic or just meant to be a day of the Lord yesterday.  Sister and I got to talk about a lot of things we had both had thought about in the Lord.  We tend to have almost the same opinions on the Lord, what he wants from us and how me intend to proceed with what he wants us to do in our lives.  It is really reassuring to hear that you are on the right path in your faith and God sends us reassurances from all sources if we but listen for his reformations.... Later in the day I had a long conversation with Bug, we have the Bible to share and it is a wonderful place or discussion for us.  He was telling me about service on Tuesday night.  The Ladies and I rarely go to the evening services as it is very late in our days, I know that some will say I am a sinner for not, but we celebrate the Lord in the morning and wouldn't dream the loss of that just to go late in the evening, I think the Lord understands that the girls do need time to rest.  Bug is growing stronger in the Lord, he has always had a good base, he and my dad in many ways have a closeness in the Lord, my dad taught him much of his beliefs.  It is funny I hear the Preacher say alot that it is almost impossible to teach someone brought up with a belief a different path in the Lord.  Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.   This is so true,  Sister, Poppie, Bug and I have been trained up, we are good New Testament Christians and always will be, maybe not now good Church of Christ members and truth be told we will probably never be good Baptists either, but we are following the Lord to the best of our ability and isn't that all the Lord asks?  Faith in him to the best of our conscience, amen..... tomorrow.

Tee shirt rug, CAKLS and the Ladies thereof...

Cubbie had pre-school in the morning, she was a grumpyguss so Pre-school had to work hard at getting her to interact.  She is a great teacher for the little ones, has patience to do the job well and see past the attitudes of some of the littles.  I was happily cutting up a tee shirt that had a small bleach stain on it.  Poppie was moving a couple of book shelves around to clear out his office/tooling room.  The winter is still making him in pain a lot so he is trying to slow down and develop an indoor routine to some extent.  He did a great job and we are now both motivated to clean out a bunch more stuff from our master suite, funny I never really think of it that way but on the schematic of the house or the blue print that's what it is.  That is why I am cutting up tee shirts.

I cut the first one into one long strip I trimmed off the hem, to lazy to take the seam out and open it up, I am thinking a lot of work and no real result or much addition to the length, so I threw that away.  I cut the strip about a half inch wide until I got to the arm pits.  I am not going to sew little pieces together either like I was taught as a child when I made rag rugs out of old cotton clothes, I am upcycling in an efficent manner so parts that take up extreme additional time for little results are out.  I threw away the top of the shirt as well, very freeing to know I can.  I rolled it in to a "yarn" ball and began to knit, no purling, just knitting.  I thought at first it would make a nice dish cloth.  It is cotton after all and should be absorbent.  I was up a couple of rows when it was time to go to CAKLs. 

I got there and most of the Ladies came, Lady, Shorts, Teacher, Artist, Irish, Tucky, and I.   It was nice to have all there at one time.  Teacher was repairing a treasured pair of gloves her grand aunt had made and were passed down to her, I had brought her some scrap wool hoping that some would match the colors she needs, some did. Artist is working on a crocheted sweater for herself, she almost always is making something for some one else so that was a pleasant surprise.  Irish is working on an afghan, as is Shorts.  Lady is making cotton wash clothes and I was working on my tee shirt yarn wash cloth.  Lady suggested it looked like a good rug to her, and after I got knitting up further it really was more suited to a rug square, weight and texture, than a wash cloth.  I was pleasantly surprised in the end with the heaviness of it, so will be cutting tee shirts up like a mad woman, well the ones not to stained and any that don't fit, to think of it it will be really cheap cotton yarn, I digress.  We all had a nice time, talked of any subject that popped into our minds, Teacher had to leave at the regular ending time but kept being pulled back into the overflowing conversations.  Alas she tore herself away and all of us split and went our separate ways to return anew next week, hopefully as many will get to attend then.

Today I am taking Cubbie to play at Ladies house with her Grandgirl.  I hope all goes well, they are going to make cake pops and that will be fun for one and all.  I am glad that I am getting a network of social outs, it makes the SAD and gray of winter so less foreboding.  The Lord bless your day he has already begun the blessings in mine.... tomorrow.

Wonderful get away... CAKLS. pre-school begins anew

Lady and I had a wondrous day.  No place to be and time to be anywhere.  Well, after the dentist, but after that the sky was the limit.  We touched base with one of the ladies from the BBFC in Frenchtown as well, she was excited about our first day, almost as much as we are.  We started the day with a cup of coffee from Ladies new pod machine, bought more coffee at the Zoo and a treat at the Black Cat Bakery, we shopped, we ate at the new Mexican place, it was good but not as good as the other Mexican place we went to a few months back, we shopped some more, we bought more coffee pods, some children items, and new Nook covers for the ladies.  We had a great day and Lady dropped me off to an empty house, a note on the door said they were gone to feed rabbits at the Professor's.  The Ladies made goulash for dinner, with a little advice from Bug.  All in all a wonderful day.

Today Cubbie will be back with Pre-school, we had a dentist appointment last Tuesday so missed.  I am hoping to get to go to CAKLs later.  Planning later in the week to take her on a lunch date with Lady and her GrandGirl.  It should be fun, Lady had said her little one had asked about her friend so we are going to see that they get to play a little while Lady has her little one in town.

I know that yesterday was the second inauguration of BO, I am thinking that since it was on MLK's day of honor he couldn't have been prouder looking down from above.  It says alot about how the world has changed in the last 45 years since his death, so much for the better and so much for the worse on some levels.  That is all I am going to say about the inauguration as I was taught to not say anything if you can't find something good to say, having said all the good I could think of I will now say nothing.......  I was at the checkout at Walmart and the checker was saying how few people were there.  I said I thought maybe the Democrats were at home watching the event.  She thought I was being testy about it, or maybe facetious, but actually I really wasn't, I truly believe on their day off a lot of Dem's were at home watching.  Lady poked me about my mouth getting me in trouble a little with the checker, which was funny.  I was actually expressing my, still, right to be out of town like a lot of other  Republicans did yesterday, mass out of townage in Washington was reported. God save us all..... tomorrow.

MLK day, a day off and we are going to play....

Today is the day we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s life.  He was a stellar man and brought about good changes in so many people lives, with non-violence, and love of God.  I salute his life.  It was funny when people started referring to him as MLK, all my older three kids have those initials.  Yes all three are my own personal MLK's.  Well now only one of them is still an MLK with out add on's but all still my little MLK's at heart. 

Today Lady and I are off to the Zoo, a get away day.  We have earned it, not so much the lots of good work on Saturday but the stress of planning coming to cumulation and not knowing you have everything ready to go.  We did fine and got through the day and like with child birth the end result was all that we can remember the little pains and problems along the way have melted into past history. 

The feedback from all the people that participated has been stellar, I like that word, more than one of the contributors have used it for the produce they got so that is super wonderful.  Just think in 12 short days we get to do it all over again, yay.  So today we are going to go play and not think of the past or future to come, okay so anyone that knows us knows that is a fairy tale.  Yes, we will talk it to death all day but atleast we will be out and about not actually doing it. 

My Ladies are going to be with Mokie until Poppie gets home from the Professors.  I am not sure what they have all planned, they have to read their 4h resource book and project books so they will be doing some of that this after noon and then a couple of chores but for the most part they will be enjoying their day off.  A day of play to celebrate the good that one life can bring to the world.  Never forget the ripples that one life starts in this pond and that one life affects and effects so many others lives.  May God allow you to affect some ones life through your life in a good way, maybe even today... tomorrow.

An unexpected harvester steps up to the plate.... Bountiful Baskets a successful start

Yesterday was a busy eventful day, I am tired just thinking of it.  Maybe it is the tired of a job completed.  Funny Lady couldn't sleep the night before and I spent half the night watching boring TV trying to go back to sleep.

The kids came home from basketball excited to have been out and played with their friends.  They had a sandwiches for lunch and were off on outside adventures.  Well, Booboo and her friend were,  Yogie was sitting playing her Nook, Bug and Poppie were getting ready to harvest the goats.  She stopped playing with her Nook and began to take interest in there preparations.  Bug had his 22/410, she was looking at it with interest.  He asked her if you wanted to shoot a goat.  She said yes.  She has always taken a great interest in all of the parts of animal husbandry.  She loves the birthing, the babies, the feeding and the milking.  She in the past has helped harvest chicken, her little arm up to the arm pit gutting chickens.  Recently she helped with harvesting the rabbits, Booboo did as well but did not really like it, she was okay with it but wouldn't volunteer to be included if she didn't have to.  Yogie was so excited, she got all her cold weather clothes on, helped get the knives and watched as Bug sharpened them up.  She carried out the bowl for the livers and hearts.  Poppie, Bug and she were one there way.  I pulled Poppie aside to have him make sure she took it all well, I asked her if she would be okay doing the shot.  She said she thought so. 

They went outside and soon, Bug had shot the first animal, Yogie watched the process intently.  I watched her from the front window, the worried mom from afar that didn't scare her by worrying right there in front of her.  Soon Bug had the body skinned, gutted and they hung it to season a couple days.  They got the second animal out, Yogie took aim, point blank her brother holding the barrel to the animals head so she was steady.  She took her first shot, she was ecstatic, she even gave a little fist pump.  She had succeeded, I am sure, over great trepidation.  Poppie came in the house a couple minutes later, to tell me all the details.  He had tears in his eyes, I am not sure who was more proud the daughter who succeed or the father who got to share in her success.  She later came in with three bullet casings proud of her accomplishments.  We talked about the sacrifice the animals had given for our sustenance and she prayed to God in thanks for their gift to us.  I think my little girl is quite an accomplished young lady, I find watching her grow one of my greatest joys.

I had to go down to the Masonic Lodge later to meet Lady for our first Bountiful Baskets drop.  We were surprised to have the truck arrive way early, good thing we had gone down early to get our minds in order.  The truck arrived with out our baskets to put the produce in, we made do with grocery bags, doubled, still not enough but better than nothing.  Wonderful volunteers began to arrive shortly thereafter, most were old hats at volunteering, which was a great help, some were new and we welcomed their being with us.  We got it all "basketed" and ready only 5 minutes late, we opened the door and a plethora of people awaited us.  They all had their confirmation numbers, signed on the line and received there baskets.  The VAC had sent us information that the baskets this week should be viewed at prices in the store and not necessarily against previous baskets so we had put it out on our page to prepare people that it might not be a big basket.  The people who picked up there baskets were ecstatic, they were amazed at the amount we got and seemed as a whole to be well pleased.  We had 60 contributors this week, we well probably have many more as soon as word gets out.  I think that, at least in our case, the VAC's worries were unneeded as in our little town we are comparing the produce we get to the produce we can get locally so it was a bounty to us but in some places the baskets are being compared to the market in a large town like Billings, or Salt Lake or Spokane.  Here we are just blessed to be able to get produce on an equal level with any big town.  We had gaffs, and missteps but all seemed to disappear into our memory as the last basket went out the door, the floor swept and hugs all around we were on our way home to enjoy our baskets of plenty.  Once home my girls dived into the fruit, and Lady sent photos of her juicing pack, we hadn't time to get any this time out at the site, maybe next time.  God bless your day, I know he does mine everyday, I am nothing without him...... tomorrow.

Giggly little girls, basket ball and later baskets....

Booboo had a friend over last night, Foster and Tinkers little girl, Opinionated, she is the youngest with three older brothers, one very rough and tumble, so she has learned loudly and mouthier how to be heard.  Booboo and her have a sort of love hate relationship that little girls have, it remains to be seen if they can work it into a life long friendship.  The good news is that Yogie helped me with my paperwork so there wasn't the competition of three and all were asleep by 9, two in one room and one on the chair in the front room.  What a wonderful compromise and respect of each others space.  Boy arrived at 6 this morning, so he could go to basketball mom dropped him off.  They are all off and gone to basket ball.  Today is the day they are actually going to harvest and all the little girls are excited to help, we will see how that goes.  I think Yogie and Opinionated are ready for the chore, it remains to be seen how Booboo will fair.  Opinionated may spend the night again and be back to go to Church with us in the morning.

Poppie is off enjoying the basketballers,  he finds the time he spend with them so much fun.  I will be going with them next week.  Had some stuff to get done this morning and maybe by then Booboo won't get side tracked making sure where I am.  She loves when I go but trips over herself making eye contact with me, I am her stumbling block so to speak.  I think she will settle down to it in the end.

Today is our first BBFC day at our new site, can I hear a YAY!.  We are so excited we ended up with 60 baskets for our first day out so we are excited, that is so great.  We should soon be more but that is so wonderful for opening day.  The basket seem to have lots of nice items in them.  The contributors will be so excited.  I can't wait for my apples and strawberries, I am going to make more jelly, Poppie loves strawberry the best.  Booboo is out of apples, keeping her in apples is a constant battle, she loves fruit and with all of her stomach, or unknown at this time, issues that is a blessing.  Today we are starting a new adventure, one it seems like it took months to pack for, funny how that is.  I can't wait to see where the adventure takes us but we are up to the task, both Lady and I are good, very good, at figuring it out as we go and thinking on our feet, we are both the oldest don't you know.... tomorrow.

To believe.....

Belief is an interesting thing don't you think?  Ever know a child that didn't believe that their daddy or mommy could do anything, well a real little child?  Ever know an adult child that didn't still hold out hope that their parent could become the parent they always wanted, you know way down deep where they keep their most personal wants and needs?  The belief of a child.  The Bibles tell us of that kind of believe a lot and in a lot of different places.  That's the kind of believe that God's wants from any of us. 

Think of a child's believe in Santa, a monster, or God.  It is something that is so innocent and pure.  They don't have a hidden agenda or preconceived notions of what it should be or what they want of it they just believe and it is so.  They out grow Santa and the monsters, and sadly so many out grow that simple faith in God.  Oh, we all out grow the simplest of faith in God and have to work so hard to become like a child in our faith.  You know that all believing and knowing that all he says and does for us is possible.  Oh, that when we pray to God and asked for something we could have knowing faith that he will provide, that he will give us what we need and never have a doubt.  You know like when an infant cries and knows mom will come, that baby has no doubt, it knows with all it's being you are coming and you will feed and take care of all its needs.  Blind faith with out any strings. 

Faith is just that knowing with out evidence.  Oh, to know that I could have that kind of faith, but I alas fall short every single day.  I pray for God to provide but I can't get rid of that nagging little worry some where way down deep, like the adult child.  Well I guess that is just what I am the adult child that hasn't got the faith of a mustard seed.  Think about just how small a mustard seed is, there isn't a seed smaller, and the Bibles says I could move a mountain with that much faith.  Oh, how little faith even the most faithful of us have, smaller than a mustard seed beyond a doubt, see any mountains moved, ever?  I have decided to try and just simply believe.  My dad always said God will provide,  I am thinking that was his way of saying I believe.  Oh, if I could only manage that simple amount of belief.  I am going to practice my believing daily, and I am going to pray to believe. If I can manage to pray for the belief to believe in all that he can provide I will truly be blessed.  He has already given me salvation through Jesus and all I had to do is believe just a simple amount of belief.  I am also praying for the faith to share my belief and you are where I start.... tomorrow.

Cubbie was contrite, socks knitted and more to go.....

I had a nice slow day yesterday.  Cubbie had had a looooong talk with her mom, I am told, and told Nannie didn't want her at her house if Cubbie couldn't be on her best behavior.  She was an angel, imagine that, Cubbie an angel and she wasn't even asleep.  Poppie has always maintained she is an angel when she sleeps but not much of the rest of the time.  She got a broom and did her level best to help with the sweeping.  She scrub brushed the dirt the cat had knocked out of the plant when she was laying in it, which she is not to do.  She helped keep her sister out of the kitchen.  Bubbles on the other hand lost her bottle privileges.  I caught her sitting on Cubblies freshly swept floor poking the nipple into the bottle and pouring milk out.  I took it away and put it behind the sink, exactly as I found it, to show her mother what she had done.  She got the little stool and tried to retrieve it, that is when she lost her kitchen access.  She was not happy she screamed at me her disagreement with me.  I told her to go lay on her blanket and take a nap, with out her bottle.  She screamed at me for awhile then laid down and tried to nap, didn't make it but did play with her toys and stopped thinking about her bottle that was in time out.  When her mom came home for lunch I told her and she said "oh she does that" and I said "she doesn't at Nannies."  The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful, I knitted Booboo's socks and the little girls played.  Cubbie got hungry at just before five and I had to tell her I am not allowed to give her anything because her dad won't let me feed her after 2, as if I do she won't eat her dinner and he is not happy about that.  I told her to take it up with her daddy.

Poppie is totally in love with his socks, the best pair I have made him per him.  I finished Booboo's and she loves hers, today I tackle Yogie's and then I plan on making Poppie another pair.  I am making lots of stuff this spring but I am trying to concentrate on the needs of my family and not making things to sell.  They have patiently awaited their turn and it is time.  I can't wait to see "the makes that I make," kudos to the late Dr. Seuss.  Did I tell you that Lady gave me a wonderful copy of the autobiography of Ted Geiesel.  I am reading it, but between my bible time and my studies of Corinthians it is not coming along all that fast but I love love love it.  Booboo is actually reading my adult Seuss works now.  She is struggling a little with the "inventive" words of the master.  Funny some of the drawings of socks in One foot, two foot, okay I digress, going on now.

Socks today, Cubbie and Bubbles hope it is a nice uneventful day.  I like the little smiles that Bubbles gives me just not the ones with the naughty twinkle in her eye.  It always means she has a plan and her plans can be worse than Cubbies, imagine that?  I hope your day is full of hope and joy, the Lords blessing and love.  Without Jesus Christ our Lord we are but nothing, how lonely and sad is that nothingness.... tomorrow.

Being humble, something to strive for and something so hard to do or be......

I often read of the humble lives that both Christ and Paul lived.  I know as a Christian we are called to be humble.  I was born the oldest child and most people that know anything about big families know that humble is not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the oldest child.  I think that the single child family might just have that problem as well come to think of it.  Ever know a humble only child?  Maybe little families struggle with the oldest child lacking humbleness as well, don't really know as I was never part of a little family in my birth family or my own family.  What comprises a little family any way?  I am sure it would be different from most peoples perspective.  I thought 3 was small but some think that is a large family.  Most would agree 8 or 12 was large, I being the oldest of 8, that I was raised with, or a total of 12 when my parents had had their final count. 

I have struggled with being humble my whole life.  I remember my Grandmother Gladys and I having a conversation about hitting.  I am not sure whether I had actually hit my sibling and she was disciplining me or whether I had thought about it and gotten in trouble from my mom and she was consoling me.  Regardless of the circumstance I was in a conversation with my dear Grandmother.  She was alot like I am now she was raising her own young children and being a grandmother so she had limited time to be just a grandmother.  I really cherish the moment I remember with her that were just for me.  She was telling me that I should never have to hit a child or a sibling to get them to come around to my way of thinking.  She had already seen my sassy bossy mouth and decided that she might be able to channel it I am thinking.  She told me I should always be able to control children with my words, I remember it as mouth but no sure she actually would have said it that way.  She was as humble a person as I can say I ever knew.  My father is her son, and in ways I am his daughter, okay for those of you laughing and rolling on the floor, I am a humble person on many levels but I would suppose I am truly a work in progress.  I do know that in my  large family the closer you are to the top of the line the more you are like my father, and maybe it is because of my Grandmother Gladys, and the lower you are in line the more you are like my mother.  I can't say there is all the much that is truly humble about my mom but most strangers wouldn't know that about her.  She does the best she can I suppose as do we all in reality.  No one can live anothers life and therefore no one has the right to judge.  Okay, I have digress back to the topic.  My Grandmother in her own way was trying to teach me to be humble, to be a servant to the child I was watching, teaching or raising I suppose.  My Grandmother and my father are two of the most servant like people I know.  I am trying in my own way to do my best to serve....

Is humble the act of serving others?  Is it leading with compassion for others?  Is it being kind when you don't have to be or is it always being kind and making that your choice?  Is it letting others spread their wing with you there to catch them if they fall?   Is it leading from behind?  Is being humble about making choices that don't make sense to others?  Is it letting some one beat you up, mentally or physically, and then letting them do it again if that is what they need at the moment? with out hurting them when you know you are the stronger and could hurt them?  I am not sure what humble is to all people.  I do know that to alot of people it is something to look down on.  It makes you lesser is some eyes.  It can make you appear pathetic.  It can make you unworthy or undesirable by the judgement of others sometimes. 

I do know that when Jesus came to other it was only the beginning of his humble life.  Think of it, God come down to earth,  he left all the magnificence of heaven to be just a human.  He was not a rich person on earth he was of a poor hardworking family and learned to work.  He grew and then began to teach, he was looked down on because of where he came from.  He never sinned, not one time.  How hard and  humbling is that?  I don't know one person that does sin continually daily, even the most pious people I know falls short.  One of the first things a baby does when it come to earth is sin,  it screams or cries in anger, and I can't think it is the cleansing anger of righteousness when all the want is you to do something for them right now, this minute with not a drop of patience.  Did Jesus never cry in anger as a baby, it must be so as he never sinned once, think what a good baby he must have been.  Okay, back on track.  Jesus allowed himself to be tempted by Satan, allowed himself to be judged, beaten, mocked publicly, and in the end murdered as an innocent for all our daily sins, through it all he never sinned once.  Is that humble, yes, something not one of us can ever do.  No, not one of us. 

I am not aiming at that kind of humble, I am realist, I know that that kind of life I can never live.  I am at best a messed up, dysfunctional, sinner.  I can only strive to be humble on a little scale.  I can try to be humble to the children I spend my day with.  I can try to be humble to the friends I have.  I can try to be humble to my husband and most of all I can try to be humble to my Lord in a manner that he might find to be trying to do better.  ....... tomorrow.  

Five littles to the dentist, 4H and Bountiful baskets going like hotcakes....

Today we go to the dentist, all five have appointments.  Bubble's first, and maybe after a year of waiting for those teeth to grow in Yogie will get her wires finally all attached. It should be a fun trip, and more fun with two little girls who won't want people looking in there mouths.  We are hoping to get back to town so I can make CAKLS.  I think it is doable as we don't have any shopping.  Maybe they will let us get them Mac Donald's happy meals,  I don't usually do fast food I think of it as scarf and barf so not my bag, but as it is something mine don't get it will be a treat, maybe, the grands get them and they are their favorites. 

Our BBFC site went up on line yesterday and so far the turn out for baskets has been wondrous.  We started with 96 and they are flying off the shelve so to speak.  That is wonderful to know that so many people really wanted the service that Bountiful Baskets will bring to our little community.  It makes all the work Lady and I put into it very rewarding.  Now for the first big day, Saturday, I hope we are ready for it.  If not somehow we will manage and all the veggies and produce will get to the people who need it. 

Had 4h last night.  It was a short meeting.  Talked with a couple friends about BBFC was nice to be able to touch base with them.  We found out that two of the girls projects may not have a leader.  One I think maybe a friend of Poppie's might be great for the job so he is going to ask him to see if he is interested.  He loves and breeds rabbits so it could be a win win.  I will probably have to step up and be Yogies' goat lady, I am not sure that is much out of character so for me so it should be fun. 

Hope you have a great day, and if you haven't ordered your basket, and want one, get on line there is still time... tomorrow.

Today is slow day, God guidance and death on my mind.....

Poppie is in pain so is not moving much, he said he wished he had spent the night on the floor.  He truly is beginning to hate the cold.  I spent a lot of the night reading, so was behind in getting here this morning or on the Internet this morning.  Lady reported this morning on our Bountiful Baskets Page that we are on the Bountiful Baskets.Org site.  It is rewarding to see that we are officially on the site.  Today starting at 10 est time people can start ordering their baskets.  It will be cool to have the first day done and over with, I am sure there will be gaffs and stumbles but not something we won't be able to handle.  Yay, for the BBFC to be here.

The Preacher had a whole table of books he was discarding at Church yesterday.  I saw several I thought  would be of interest to me.  The Preacher saw our interested and ended up filling three bags for us so we now  have lots of options.  I am reading the Studies in First Corinthians, by M.R.Dehaan, M.D.   I am truly enjoying it.  The Preacher did say, as an aside, that not all of the books were ones that he agreed with or promoted but they were there for the taking. I am so enjoying this one, I am thinking I will try and talk Bug and Sister into reading it after me, very enlightening.  I do so enjoy reading when it is something safe for me to read.  Okay, for those of you laughing that a commentary on the Bible would be safe, it is for me.  Satan surely would take hold of me if I fell into my addiction of reading novels again.  God so wants me to read what he sends me, the perfect book when I was having so many questions that it is answering. 

The books spends alot of time on Grace, communion, conflicts with people in our lives our brothers or non-brothers.  I am truly learning so much and am sure the Lord is speaking to me.  I may have a coffee date and I have to go to the Library to help with contribution forms, and then a Q and A with Lady on the bountiful baskets.  My dear friend Twin told me that her step son was killed in a car wreck this morning.  I am so sorry for her and the families loss.  I had know him since he was about 6 or so.  He had issues in his life, don't we all, but by all accounts he was overcoming them.  I know not his relationship with the Lord, but I hope he had one.  Godspeed to a young man who had much more to accomplish in this life.  I hope your day it great and the Lord sends you a message to read his word or about his word.  I also hope you hug the ones you love as there may not be a next time... tomorrow.

Surprise is good for the body, and the mind I am thinking.... Surprise is good!! Bountiful Baskets is here this week!!

Lady and I have given out the information that the Bountiful Baskets Food Coop site of Superior Downtown is to have it first pick up day on January 19, isn't that three week earlier than expect?, yes it is.  It was a surprise to us too, we didn't dump this on any one on purpose.  Now that we have all had a moment to breath, I hope you were all setting when you got the info, I had to, I made sure Lady could.  All surprised and now all are coming around to the reality of  "if you asked for it you just might get it".   We asked to be on as soon as we could get every thing done and God has answered our prayers, so now we getting it down as a team is next on the agenda. 

Lady is working hard on the events page on Facebook, and their our lots of question, I have tried to answer as many as I have seen.  Lady is thinking we should have a Q and A at the library at 4 on Monday and all our welcome to come to CAKLS on Tuesday for more Questions if they have them.  Our site should be on the Bountiful Basket.org contributions for baskets on Monday, 10 eastern and close at 10 eastern on Tuesday to contribute for the drop.  Can't wait to see us there.  Still have to pinch myself that it is happening. 

We are hoping to get a group site up on Facebook for all who would like to volunteer.  It will give us a real time way to talk to volunteers and give out info.  We will be developing the site as soon as we can and get it up in the next couple days.  I can't wait to have the site going and all who want to come and volunteer and contribute together for the first time.  ..... tomorrow.

Can't Sleep.... so I contemplate....

Today was a nice quiet day.  Bubbbles was on a terror I was forever getting her out of something.  Cubbie stood up to the plate and tried to help me with her.  I had to make her not lift her sister as that just plain makes Bubbles mad.  Bubbles is sliding into the bad habit of lots of third or second children.  She thinks screaming at you gets her what she wants, and it doesn't work at Nannies, so that makes her scream louder until Nannie wins.  I won't give her her bottle or anything else until she says Please.  No, screaming louder doesn't get you what you want.  She is learning, her mom told me she won't say it for her so she has given up, Nannie is not a Lilly liver and winning is and can be important so Nannie wins.  Sometimes the patience it takes to win may not actually be worth the effort, today was one of those days.  I had to smack her hand for being naughty and doing things she knew were naughty.  No, the cute little smile does not make it better or give you a free pass to naughtiness.  I am to old for these battles some days, God did know in his infinity wisdom that mommies needed to be young and let me tell you today I was OLD. 

I knitted on Poppie's socks, I have had to rip out some and restart but am getting a workable pattern established for his long foot.  I will have all the kinks worked out for the second pair.  One sock complete and the other almost done. I was happily knitting away when I checked my email.  I would have had to sit down had I not already been sitting.  I had to call Lady and make sure she was sitting as well.  I got an email about our BBFC site,  we were hoping and preparing for a February 9 opening date.  The email said we are opening next Saturday.  I told the VAC we would be ready for whenever they could fit us in.  We are so excited about opening we don't want to make any waves that would hamper that.  Now the work to getting things done begins, IE I am up at 2 in the morning working on things and somehow I am still up at 3:30 blogging to you.  I am so excited, nervous and hopefully will be ready to go on opening day.

The Ladies and Boy have basketball in the morning.  They are going to the local one, no I didn't let them go to the one at the YMCA I think that it was a great idea and effort on the part of the coach but I want them here.  I think they are too little to travel to the Zoo in the winter for Saturday morning games.  Booboo already is tired in the evenings without practicing before school at 7 in the morning twice a week.  They are doing the one that is offered local, intramural with the majority of the kids.  I know the other option would be better in ways but it is a little cost prohibitive right now and a lot of travel that is not necessary for them at their ages.  I think other parents made that choice as well but some did send their kids to the Y.  I was pulled both ways but in the end I let the girls make the call.  They are going this morning with their friends.  Maybe next year they can do the Y but that will remain to be seen at this point. Oh, and the good news is that I get to have Bubbles so Son can go with Boy, and Oh, I refused to let Cubbie stay with me she can go with her dad and be his problem, Oh, if only Bubbles was old enough to go.... I digress.... lol.

So I have looked up forms, emailed, blogged and now maybe I can wind down enough to sleep or maybe not... tomorrow.

BBFC conference call done, finely now we wait, oh so can't wait.....

I am excited to say that last night we finely had our conference call for BBFC.  We were on the phone for almost a half hour before the six of us on line got to talking about what to do?  Our conference call instructor had not come on line.  We took note of who was on the call, some from North Dakota and some from Montana then one of the ladies called to see if they could find an instructor from their cell phone.  Seems the meeting had been postponed but none of us got the message.  We mostly all stayed on line the four more minutes until a moderator came on, she couldn't find the moderator/instructor we were to have so she pinch hitted for us.  What a trooper.  She did a great job, a good thing too one of the ladies sites is to open on Saturday, close thing.  We all seemed to be about as proficient in yahoo group navigation, and form filing and finding of places on the groups.  We ended up learning lots and our conference is done, one more step on the way to the Superior Downtown Site for BBFC being done and a reality. 

This morning I am awaiting info on what I have to do next, more form comfort skills and navigation to accomplish but I think like most things that is a familiarity thing.  We are hoping to have a date of February 9th as our first day.  We think we have all the paperwork, or the paperwork we need to date done, just have to make sure, the site has been check and viewed, great place.  I have collected sacks, baggies and what nots for the site, hoping to get some upcycled reusable grocery bags but their is always time for more collecting, sometime it is a virtue to be a hoarder.  I can't wait until we get the word on being put on the truck schedule.  I have to still get index cards, a 3 ring binder and the printer online, oh and reboot disc's in my computer but I am on track for me. 

We are excited about getting the routine started, trying some of our ideas on the site, getting to know the contributors and volunteers.  We want our site to be a fun inviting place to come to so we can grow and eventually train new people to the wonders of Bountiful Baskets.  I hope you have a great day, think good thought, talk to the Lord and remember to get a sign on for Bountiful Baskets so you can join in our adventure.  Remember, like life, this is a team effort and there is no I in team.... tomorrow.

Poppie travels alone, knitting him more socks, Pinochle.....

Poppie is off and out of the house, dropping off the Ladies and Drama's girls at school on the way.  I have never been good about him traveling alone and surely not on a day when the roads are all icy.  I have such respect for those of you that have loved ones that travel daily and go about your lives as if it is normal, well I suppose it is but just saying I am not brave enough or strong enough to go threw the daily stress.  It doesn't help that facebook is full of people talking about icy roads and the news is saying lots of it is out there.  I know that God will have him in his arms but I still worry that is what I do, I know I am a sinful sinner. 

I started my first pair of toe up socks for Poppie, I am also doing an afterthought heel, that way when Poppie wears it out I will just knit a new one and not have to darn it.  He swears that his socks don't need washing, he doesn't sweat and why should that ruin his socks anyway?  Okay so it is an ongoing difference in philosophies, but he isn't the one that has to fix the sock with no heels left in them.  I can say that they are the easiest sock I have ever knitted.  I don't actually like the circular needle knitting but love the Judy's Magic cast on.  I am a four needle person at heart I guess.  Love the new but still cling to the old comfy ways, a rebel and a conformist all rolled up into one. Using two sets of fours, just saying.

Poppie and I have bought a deck of Pinochle cards.  We haven't played in years, probably 20, but are determined to oil up and dust off our game.  We started with me showing Poppie the melds, the hands and counting. We wants me to make him a cheat sheet so he can remember them.   I couldn't quite remember how to play two handed, as I have mostly played cut throat or doubles but after reading on it I now remember why my parents drafted me into being a third at such a young age.  Two handed is crazy, and now I also know why when they couldn't have me play with them they played their own version of two handed cut throat.  We are going to play the two handed cut throat they played as well so Poppie can relearn the game and then draft the ladies into playing doubles with us.  The Ladies can't wait to play and urging Poppie to become proficient enough to play with them.  I think once we get into it we are going to try and get Lady and Sweetie to play, but then we may have to play 6 handed, never thought of that.... or maybe the ladies can play something else.  Maybe Lady and I can go to Pinochle nights at the seniors sometimes.  Well after we all get good at it, so future ramblings at best. 

Poppie should be home by noon and he and Bug are going to harvest, I know it never happens but I have been assured it for sure will.  I can hope and maybe it will..... tomorrow.

Babies are always in our hearts no matter their real age.....

We now have two babies at Church, one is 6 months old and the other under two weeks old. The Preacher made a point to let us know that it was the policy of the Church not to touch babies if their mother didn't specifically give us her baby or clear it for us to touch. I have never actually touched either of the babies, I hold lots of babies and am pretty baby savvy so the fascination is not all that pressing for me. I had told both of my girls, prior to the policy speech which was given at the beginning of both hours, not to touch the babies just to look. My girls are pretty baby inundated so babies don't hold that big a fascination for them either. Still not exactly sure who the policy speech was for but to each his own. He did say that he was afraid of something happening to a baby and didn't want it to happen at Church, so ok.

I found in contemplating the Church policy that it should be an upheld policy for all children?  Should that just be a common sense approach to any ones child, at any age?  I am not sure that any one ever should be allowed to put their hands on your child, be it one day old or 17 years and 364 days old. I don't believe that any parent ever willingly gives up their choice to make decisions for their children until they become adults. I think that here in we find the rub, in my opinion. Why would it be okay to put your hands on someones toddler, tween or teen anymore than someones baby? Why would it be okay to tell a child to "do what your told", "shut up", "sit down", "move" or any other thing with the child's parent in the room? I am not talking about a place where you are in care of that child, or have been given the care of the child, which was policy right? I am talking about out of the blue in a public place, what would make you think you had any right to a child?  Why is it okay to presume you can take liberties with a child older than an infant but not an infant? I say you better be aware of momma Grizzlies if you really think you can tell my child what to do if you don't have my permission or have temporary care of them. Funny how so few people correlate the two as something that is an equal no no. Those people take it upon themselves to do all manner of instructing to your child. I to am very guilty of instruction other peoples children, but never if I haven't been the okay to do so, I.E. Never touched the babies at Church.

I think that adult children are different, hopefully you should have raised your child to have the ability to decide for its self who can interact with, instruct them, touch them or guide them. I find it a lot more tricky to not speak up for an adult child when some one wants to take hold of them, mentally or physically. It also bugs me when some one who wants to instruct your adult child, and thinks you should have no involvement in or opinion of that instruction, but has qualms about letting you make comments on their parenting skills or their adult children. They also can't seem to let their child decide who can interact with them. They have no qualms about telling your child to leave their child alone, seems they don't want others instructing their child or maybe they haven't quit control theirs? It all boils down to practicing what you preach, so if you don't want people stepping on your rules maybe you need to read your rules and obey them yourself, makes it easier for people to take you seriously in the long run.

It all about the "policy" don't touch someone else's child unless they give you permission, especially if you don't want them to touch yours..... tomorrow.

Busy day. BBFC, breakfast and library with Lady, sorrowiful losses....

I had a busy day yesterday and never got a chance to blog, it is kind of nice to be able to not blog and not have crushing guilt for not having done so.  The first year I blogged I made a pledge to blog each and every day for a year, which I did, funny having to come home from camping to blog, well that and we did have to feed the animals.  Good thing we don't camp all that far from the house, but I digress.  Now I try to blog daily but there are times when I can't, twice this week, odd for me.  Anyway, yesterday I started the day with breakfast with Lady, nice that because I didn't tell you before hand not to be stalked, first time in a year that we went to breakfast without my neighborly stalker, but that aside we had a very nice time.  We are both trying to remember that food is fuel and not a gift, I heard that on a news program, sort of puts things into a new perspective doesn't it? It does give me new motivation for a life time problem, which I may truly never conquer or manage.  We both skipped the hash browns, concentrated on the proteins, good company and food, a good start to our days.

We went over to the library, I helped the ladies put away books and collect books that will be lent out to member libraries.  It was fun gave me something to do while I waited for my meeting with one of the members of the Mason's Lodge that was to meet with me.  It was Vegas's Daddy so it was nice to get to chat with him.  The Mason's have very kindly allowed the Superior BBFC to use their lodge every other Saturday for our pick up site, yay, such kindness should be acknowledged.  I meant him there at a little after eleven.  The site is perfect, room for the distribution, easy access for the delivery truck, good place for participant pick up, all win wins.  We had a nice meeting and I got all the info we need for the site.  I went back to the library after the meeting.

I had to wait for Poppie to pick me up at the Library.  I helped put away more books, chatted with one and all, took measurements for the project I want to make for the library.  I also got help down loading library books on to Booboo's nook.  All the book I have so far bought have automatically down loaded to both nooks so didn't think that the library books would be any different.  Poppie soon picked me up and home bound I was.  I found that at home both nook's didn't get the library books and I will have to try to do it myself here this morning.  I tried to down load to my libre, but I couldn't manage that alas I am a e-reader library user failure, but I will over come so please pray for my brain to get a clue, or maybe just figure out the idiosyncrasies of each machine or is the right word device?....lol

I was home a short while when I read on face book that several of my friends were close to a young lady that had been killed in a car wreck I had heard of on the news.  I am truly sorry for their losses, from all accounts she was a remarkable God fearing young lady a real asset to her family, Church and community.  It is truly sad when the good die so young.  God has a purpose for our lives and we know not his plans for our lives, it makes you think you should really get your salvation in order now not in the unforeseen future when this kind of tragedy occurs.  Shortly there after my friend Tucky called me to tell me her dear friend, that she had really wanted me to meet, had been killed in a car wreck, truly a sad day.  I was so sorry for my friend.  She is a dear person and had a special bound with her friend.  I am sorry for her loss and her friend's families loss.  Her lost friend was a vibrant loving mother and grandmother from all accounts.  She was to take her grands to Disneyland later this month,  again it is so sad when one of our dear ones are taken from us so unexpectedly.  It really makes us contemplate our own lives and that life is so fleeting you should never put off unto tomorrow the I love yous that need to be said today.  You should never put off your relationship with the Lord to the future, you should grab it by both hands and hold on to it as tomorrow may be to late and never come..... tomorrow.

Maintenance is a daily process in all aspects of life....

The Ladies and I had a conversation this morning as part of our daily Bible/reading time I have found that is one of the unexpected rewards from the daily endeavor.  Today's conversation was about obeying our parents and liars.  We read the first two chapters of Romans.  We spoke of telling others something they should do and not expecting to stay with in that guideline ourselves, a sin and wrong.  We spoke of living by the standards we expect from others.  That lying is a sin no mater how small.   That you should obey your parents but that your parents should also respect your input and should respect your ability to makes choices as you grow into adulthood.  This not the first day that we have had conversations sparked from our readings, it has become an embraced family time.  We have had recent conversations about rape, fornication, reverence, and what is an heir?  It is a way to really be in tune with the girls in ways we didn't expect.  We went in to our devotion to the reading of the Bible with strengthening of faith as the out come never knowing that it would strengthen our bond with our children, not knowing that we would be able to connect with them on the most pressing tribulations that will come along in their lives as the go into puberty.  We have a captive audience that we get to talk to about sex, drugs, alcohol, bullying, and the ways we should conduct ourselves in this life, that being true to ourselves is far more important than being true or in vogue with our friends.  I know that all of my older kids march to their own drums, which I am proud of, but I dropped the ball on so many things that I wish I hadn't with them.  They did always talk to me about things that not all kids can talk to their parents about but they did struggle in school on other levels that I didn't know about at the time.  I hope that I can empower the Ladies to still march to their own drums but in a more secure way than maybe the older kids got to.  I hope that I have learned alot and daily maintenance is one, the daily maintenance of their souls and their well beings by have a family connection as the first thing we do.  I know that most believe it should be around the dinner table, well we don't always manage to actually sit at the table but we have the time to crawl into bed and share Gods Word and the things that it takes us to.

Daily maintenance is now happening in our house as well as our souls and lives.  The Ladies had to bring all the clothes out of their dressers yesterday so we could go through them together.  They assured me all the clothes were ones they wear and use, and that was all that was in their drawers.  Well, not so much, we ended up with a pile to throw out and a pile to give.  See daily maintenance and routine has a place and I am showing them it on a one on one level.  Okay, so many of you out there are saying why didn't she do this before?  Is she only just getting a clue?  Well I have issues about cleaning from my childhood but I am putting them to rest,  No, a clean house is not more important than the kids in it.  NO, a clean house is not more important than getting to go to Church.  NO, a clean house is not important than ?  I still firmly believe in my dad's plaque.  "my house is clean enough be healthy and dirt enough to be happy"  but maintenance might be something we can manage in moderation.

Poppie spent most of the day getting the water thawed out so no harvest it will be done on Tuesday.  I hope you have a great day, maintenance your soul with the Lord, be it at Church or reading his word, he will call you as he sees fit.  NO greater joy is there than a relationship with God, so many never understand the wondrousness of that relationship, I feel so sad for them, some come to it late in life and other share it with God for a life time but all in God's own time.... tomorrow.

Routines setting in, no water and the harvest is finally going to actually happen...

The Ladies joined us at 6 this morning, Booboo always first to arrive, Yogie stumbled in right behind, first time for that, no dilly dallying.  We finished up Acts and are looking forward to Romans in the morning.  They each said their prayers and were on to Junie B Jones and the Trumpet of the Swans by E.B. White of Charlotte's Web fame.  I like that they enjoy alot of the old books of my youth.  I love books and have a new found joy in seeing them read my old favorites.  I am working hard to see that they have the joy of reading in their repertoire.  I do so love to read but am mindful of the limitations that my addiction brings to what I read.  I am really enjoying my Bible in ways I have never done so before.  It really amazes me that the light can come to a passage that you have read numerous times before but can see it anew in it's new enlightenment, as if reading it for the first time. The Lord tells us that that is so, a living chronicle or more exact the living Word.  They ended up readying more than the given hour, and on a weekend, routine success, now to make the others stick as well, well if only one sticks in the end the most important one is established.... win win.

Yogie made coffee after the Bible/reading time,  the water only trickled so Poppie has to go unthaw the pipe.  It is a blessing that is usually only the little line that goes to the pressure switch that freezes.  It is too warm to run the heater but cold enough to freeze the little line, for some reason after we use a little water, you know like to fill the coffee pot.  Today is finally harvest time for the last of the goats to be harvested.  I know I have said we had plans to before but things got in the way, sickness, changes of circumstance etc...  Poppie is going to pick up Bug as he is to help.  The Ladies are both excited to help.  I know that some of you just went eeew, but I am actually very proud of them.  Yogie has helped with chickens and loved doing it.  The both had to help with rabbits a little while back, Bug made Booboo help.  She actually ended up liking the process.  It is all apart of the cycle, if you are going to raise the animals you need to respect the sacrifices they make.  They are to be loved, cared for and respected in their life and in their death with your showing up and being present.  I am proud of both of them.  They are both realists, and that is something I have alot of pride in, they see life for what it is and the reality it holds.  Harvest is a reality in life, they know that the milk doesn't magically appear in a box and that meat isn't from a factory all wrapped up in plastic, they know up close and personally where meat comes from, and the sacrifice that comes with each piece.  They tend to respect the meat, the milk and the veggies they eat at dinner all the more for it.

Tomorrow we are to got out to Lady and Sweeties, the boys are going to play with helicopters and we ladies will think of something to do I am sure.  BBFC will be on the conversation block.  The Ladies are always good guests so that will not be an issue, I like that.  I hope your day is good and you harvest the seeds you have sowed whatever they maybe.... tomorrow.

White beans cooking, third day, but soup today....

I have a large pan of white beans cooking, I have been quick soaking for the last three day, 20 pounds of beans take some time.  Today I am switching it up a little I am going to try and make pork and beans for Poppie.  The last time I tried I ended up with what Poppie calls "the best beans soup" but alas not pork and beans.  I did use pinto last time, I know they are supposed to have white beans, tah dah, this time I have them.  I know I have said it before, if I had known how much fun a pressure canner would be I would have over come my paralyzing fears years ago, 38 to be exact....   I digress. Lady says we are nerds, getting excited about pressure canning. 

  I have the kids later today, I like when they come early that way they are here and we get Nannie and kids bonding time without cutting into mom and daughters time.  Sometimes being the younger kids with nieces and nephew, in most cases, it is not normal to be cousins to your nieces and nephews I know but none the less it is hard to share your childhood time with other kids that need your mom and dad that are not your sibs.  Then there are the older sibling who want to boss you around even more than regular siblings do, in my family this in not a this generation thing it is a generational thing for many a generation.  My youngest sisters are younger than all my kids but the Ladies, my aunt is younger than my oldest cousin and it goes on from there, so we are normal to our family.....  okay, we are weird, but say la fee, no I can't spell it in French, so that will have to do,  back on subject and going on now.

It is very cold out today and Poppie spent the fourth night on the floor for a good many hours trying to find a place of no pain.  I made him take an Epsom salts bath but when you can't get your sore knee in the bath with your sore back it kind of defeats the purpose.  NO, not even in the garden tub can he get all his legs in.  The girls were tickled pink when they come home from school, some of the most stylish girls in the elementary wanted to know where they got their berets.  They were proud to say their mom made them.  They want more and I think I can safely say I will make more of them and for online sales.  I like that they use up some of my littlest scraps.  I think if I make it to the FOL meeting today I will take one to show Lady the results of my tinkerings. 

Funny, yesterday afternoon Poppie came and told me of a marvelous idea he had about changing the "office" up.  He wants to put in shelves and put my sewing stuff in with his tooling table.  Now isn't that just what I told you I wanted to do yesterday.  Great minds think a like and fools seldom differ, or maybe he was listening to me more than I think over the last few months and he himself didn't know he was listening,  Anyway, we are on the same page so to speak. 

The little ladies just got here, late, seems a coworker called in way late and Mokie is working a later shift.  I hope the Lord blesses your day and you seek the Lord in your life......  tomorrow.

Back to school and routines....

Booboo and I canned white beans all day, quick soak, bouillon and then into the pressure canner for 1 and half hours.  Grandpa picked them up for us, we were excited to get them, we can get pinto bean from Costco but the big quantities of white, these being great northern, are harder to find.  I asked Grandpa if he could get garbanzo, but he couldn't, sad.  We made bread, cinnamon rolls, apple pie and turkey pot pie as well.  Baking days are nice and since we had to be in the kitchen anyway might as well get it all done at once. 

Bubbles and Cubbie arrived this morning at 6:45, back to the routine.  The Ladies were  up at 6 for Bible reading, two chapters a morning starting as part of our new year commitment.  They then read their chapter books until 7 after the reading.  I am glad that we didn't get out of the early up routine through the holidays.  It makes it easier to go back to school and it is a good habit in their lives to be up early in the mornings.  They both had curly hair and their berets on as they ran out to go back to school, excited to be back in the company of their friends.  We have decided that our new years resolutions will be good habits, maintenance cleaning, doing the little things before they become big ugly things to conquer.

Two sleeping babies to my left as I type.  I like it when they both take naps right after they come it gives me some alone time to get my thoughts together.  My day will be filled with finishing up the beans, getting back into a routine and maybe just maybe a better more productive one.  I am determined to eliminate and make my minimalist life more truly so.  I am a minimalist that is a hoarder, I am thinking that is an oxymoron and am going to try and equal that out a little.  First of all I am going to get rid of all those I could fit those clothes if I lost a little weight clothes.  I will also be getting rid of the I can fix that if I just had a little time clothes, knick knacks and others what nots.  I am going to put Poppies new office in order,  he got my old one as a place to tool and other things.  Now I just have to get the shelves moved around to store the things for my office, which is now in the living room, it makes it more open access to the computer, so all the kids are comfortable with it being a public thing before there is real need for it to be so.  My sewing area is there as well, I know most people want it out of their living room but the reality of my life is if it is in a different room I can't do it as I always have a child that needs supervision.  Life is not about someone Else's agenda, or what they think things should be like in yours, it is about what actually works for you.  I am planning on cleaning out all the cobwebs of things that don't belong or no longer belong in my life.  That will be a long process but with the girls on board I can manage and it will give them the reality check of not becoming their mom, and having to clean out their future nests, or maybe they are already nesters that need rebooting.....

I am hoping to actually get the last things done for BBFC done.  The holidays really overwhelmed me in many ways and I didn't get all the things I wanted to get done on that front but I am up to the challenge and working on the process..  I have most of the paperwork done, one more form to do,  I have to do the conference call yet.  I am usually in bed by that time so will have to make arrangements to actually be up that late,   late at my house is after 8,  I know I am whining so done now.  I have to get a cell phone that I can text on, and learn to text, so lots of little things to do but I am working on the process. 

The New Year is going to be a challenge to me on many levels,  I have to get more organized.  I can be an A personality but it is a mind set I have to put on.  I tend to be a free spirit, well not in the traditional manner but a free spirit none the less.  I am up to the challenge I just have to take it on like eating an elephant, one bite at a time.  I have prayed for the strength to keep myself on track and the love of God to keep me on track in my routines, cleaning, minimalizing, BBFC, friendships and the praising of God, nothing like losing a 100 pounds but maybe for me a bigger challenge.  Lord give me the support to accomplish my goals, amen.... tomorrow.

I puzzled all day..... regrets....

I spent the day finishing a puzzle yesterday.  The girls and I had started it the night before.  It was a long time tradition in my family growing up.  I am not a good puzzler by my families standards.  Booboo is a great natural puzzler.  Yogie has a more my style interest.  I am determined it will be a new tradition in our little family.  I am good at finding where a certain piece goes in a puzzle and building on that.  Booboo just seems to be able to pick up a piece and put it where it goes, she always has been, I never seen a small child put them together as good as she could as a toddler.  Poppie is having a lot of pain with the cold so spent most of the day not moving very far.  It was a quite uneventful day here.  The girls abandoned us in the afternoon and went sledding with Mokie and family.  Poppie and I got Bubbles while they were gone.  A homey quiet day was nice, a sort of hibernation and restoring of our souls.  I didn't even turn on the computer once all day, sort of a nice thing and an escape.

I did have time to think most of the day.  I find it interesting that at the beginning of each new year we think of the ending years regrets.  We regret the things we did or didn't do in the past year.  We get all hyped up to change our year to come.  We want to make changes but all to soon the want does not become the change we had hoped for.  We, for the most part, are creatures of habit.  We don't make big changes in our lives, we are who we are.  Isn't that sad?  We may, or may not, want to change but the reality of change is difficult.  Think of the things people make resolutions about, weight, finances, relationships and who knows what, but most are wants to change important things in our lives.  The reality is that these kinds of things are hard to change.  We live the lives we do and our habits are just that our habits so real change to any one of these things is not about a resolution to be trendy at the beginning of the year.  Real change to any of these things would take life change and life change is life changing so is very very hard to put into real action.  Life change takes daily change, daily getting up and doing things that aren't our habits, if they were we would already be doing them.  Habit change is one of the hardest things we do in this life.  Living in a rut is how most of us stumble through this life.  We are predictable and that is what makes us the people we are. 

I think if you talk to a really old person they almost never have true regret in their lives.  They lived their lives with the ups and the down, they lived their habits, they changed them or they didn't, they have come to terms with their lives in a way we in the middle or in battle haven't as of yet.  If you asked a middle ager like me, am I really middle aged still? at 52 I know I am not living to 104, I have been past middle age for about 5 years, you know I am only living to 94.... I digress.  The reality is I am past middle age, or precise middle age anyway.  I am not old but in past cultures I am ancient so age is still relative to the current generation.  Sadly this is the first generation that our children's life expectancy is probably shorter than our own.  Is that regret?  I am middle age so unlike the old person I am at the age where people wallow in regret.  We have not yet become the wise of old age, we are in the age where we question all of our life habits.  We are probably the greatest among the resolutioners of the new years.  The young don't think they do any thing wrong and the old know they lived their lives to the best of  their ability at the the time the lived it.  They didn't do it all right but they did it with out an instruction book and they did the best they could.  It is we in the middle that are the biggest regretters.  We regret a lot of things, is that why some many of our ilk have mid-life crisis's?  Really how many people do you know that go nuts, whether it is the man with the phallic sports car or the new babe on his arm, that just through away a wonderful woman and marriage.   Or is it the woman drinking in secret because he left or no longer comes home, or the mom who is taking happy pills?  There are so many more examples of mid-life crisis's that I can't even imagine.  Is it that in our middle years, we are no longer needed by our children, our spouses are having the same questions and so many of us haven't spoken to them on a real level in years and we haven't a clue who they are?  Why is it that the middle years are hard?  Why are they full of regrets?  It is the old that will tell you that they don't regret because they have already been tinseled by the fire and the quench of the middle years.  They have been there, they survived them, and they no longer have regrets, well not the crushing ones that the middle aged let themselves be weighed down by. 

Regrets are a part of life as is any of the things we go through in this life.  Don't let the regrets of life destroy you, they are like anything something you face, conquer, and get past. Do you have regrets you can't put to bed? if so you need a friend (hopefully your spouse) to talk to. Okay for the modern, and lost among you, that don't have a friend to talk to maybe you can use a therapist but for the real people out there you have your family, your friends and most of all God.  There is no one, and I mean no one, more ready to listen to any of your problems than God.  He can help you with any and all problems, and regret is not the least among them..    Make a resolution this year to talk to God..... tomorrow.