My friend was upset about anger this week, I find myself angry yesterday, was it righteous or evil anger?

I was reading one of the blogs (link http://lawana-counterculture.blogspot.com/2011/08/marriage-is-empty-hole-in-ground.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Lawana-counterCulture+%28LAWANA-COUNTER+CULTURE%21%29) I follow and the blogger, who I think of in every way as my Christian friend, said, "People who call themselves Christians... were sarcastic and negative" then went on the make her point about her religious views.  I was one of the People she was speaking of, remembering back to a conversation we had had in March.  Why is it that anyone who didn't believe in her view was being sarcastic or negative? I found myself angry not because she didn't like my views, God speaks to us each individually and personally to create our beliefs. I was anger at being judged to not be a Christian and having to call myself a Christian. Do I have to call myself a Christian to be seen as one, isn't it obvious to anyone who knows me that I am a Christian. I had given that respect to my friend, the Blogger, but obviously I was not given the same respect in return. She did respect the atheist and the agnostic enough to call them such without saying they called themselves that.   I actually don't really care about the issue that she was talking about, it is a mute point, she is very proud of her children, as we all are, and tells one and all that they didn't have sex, kiss or even hold hands when they were engaged/betrothed before marriage.  They were betrothed or engaged and the way I read Deuteronomy 20:7, they could have, even by old testament standards of being betrothed.  Or is there a suggestion that God would tell betrothed men to sin? So I am happy for them but am really tired of hearing that they are better than other engaged couples for having waited. They have been married a year nearly, can't we get off worshiping at the alter of their courtship.  Did they lust for one another, which is also normal, but wouldn't that be a sin too, Matthew 5:28, 'But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart'. which if they did, wasn't any ones business and wasn't a sin since they were betrothed.  I do get a little upset about the implied short comings of other kids who fall short of their special love and courtship. I might add that courtship and dating are not mentioned in the bible so obviously God didn't feel it necessary to tell us how to do it.  Betrothal is mentioned in the bible so God had more need to tell us of it.  I do find it interesting that in the end she called up on "appearance of evil" to finish her argument.  There are few verses in the bible more twisted or more abused to the point of view of the churches, Amish, Catholic, Baptist through Zionist, or the user of the verses than, 1 Thessalonians 5:22.  Churches and people call upon this verse when they are establishing their opinion of the evil and putting forth their agenda.  Are you really evil if you don't honor the Pope? Catholics believe you are. Are you really evil if your daughter dates a boy without a chaperon? etc.... I truly believe in their being an appearance of evil, but shouldn't it be God's Scriptures and not the opinion of the Churches or people who determine what it is?

Earlier in the week a different friend of mine had had a difficult time with a co-worker and was upset at herself for being angry and in the end said this about anger "My lesson for today......I learned that I do not know how to deal well with passive aggressive people. My approach and reaction left me wanting to rip lips off ones face and stick them.....well you know. So I guess I have figured out my next self improvement. But just how do you teach yourself to not let lifes b***ches piss you off that totally? I live on my terms of being direct.....none of this pansy nasty passive aggressive stuff. Ok done sounding off.....open to suggestions......... It is me I worry about in all of this. She is who she is and I can not change that. But the fact that I allowed myself to become that angry and then reacted on that anger is what bothers me. I am stronger then that. Anger is not a show of strength it is a show of weakness, it is as good as saying, I am weak and you win. I do not like the fact that I allowed her to win. Oh well lesson learned, next time will be different." 

So what is anger, What does God say about anger? What is righteous anger? Was I being weak yesterday for being angry at my friend.  Was she being passive aggressive for not letting me know that she was upset with my take on the conversation and waited from March until now to let me know in a very public way? Maybe I am being self centered and it wasn't me but the other, People who call themselves Christians, she was talking to.. I might be making this more personal than she meant it, I do that and I am working on that, but it still hurt. So am I having righteous anger or having anger what is evil, as I took it so personally?  I believe anger is a gift that God gives us to use in his likeness,  I am rarely angry at people I don't love, I don't see the point in sharing that much pain, and anger always seems to cause pain, with someone I don't love.  I think back to an excerpt from an old sermon, "God forgives us in spite of our being what We are. We are Christians entirely and solely by the grace of God. It is all due to God's mercy. It is in spite of our being what we are, in spite of our being hateful and hating one another, in spite of our being ungrateful, in spite of our being rebellious, that God sent His own Son, and He took our sins upon Him. He died for us while we were sinners, while we were enemies. Our salvation is all of the free grace of God. As a Christian you say that you believe this gospel. But if you are in a condition of settled wrath against another person, how do you reconcile it with your Christianity?" So I contemplated my anger, prayed and worked it through before I slept..... tomorrow.