I often contemplate life, when I get the time, and I do get time now and again. I am a busy person in many respects and lazy as a slug in others. I would say that is not all that unusual, we all have our passions that drive us and things that can just wait but as individual we get to pick and choose our paths down either. I can be one of the most driven people, and drive others to distractions, when I am on one of my missions. I call that my type A personality moments, I am also one of the most procrastinating people and wait until the pressure is on so I can get it all done in a whirl wind of accomplishment. I don't do anything methodical or I suppose normally, if you love me you just shake your head and wonder how I get on in life. I make decisions by weighing the good and the bad in all things, but I do it at such a rate that if you blinked you missed that I did that at all, so you end up thinking I do thinks on impulse, but I don't. I have a high IQ, that I actually use, but as I don't meet most peoples standards of smart, by looking at me, I am often looked at as unimpressive and maybe a bit of a dolt. It is a mistake that most don't make twice once they have. I can be shy in defending myself or approaching family or friends for help, or asking them to stop and spend time with me, but if I have the cause of of someone to defend, family, friend or anonymous victim, God help the victimizer as I will not stop coming until the situation is solved and the abuse is done. I am a Libra on the "charts', that some put so much stock in, and the would say I am a scale or a ying and yang person. I don't know that there is much in that but God speaks to all in different ways so who knows, I do know I do like balance even if it is asymmetric, I do mediate well and balance is a part of who I am, or maybe I am just a split personality, same thing right?
I know people that worry about keeping up with the Jones, or having a perfect existence and it drives me crazy. They don't do anything with out a plan, a budget or deep conversations to insure that it is the right thing to do. I can say I have ever understood these people, I don't understand an all consuming need to have everything in its rightful place either so maybe I was not called to lead a perfect life by the Lord. I think of myself as more of a tumbleweed that blew in the wind here and there and then got stuck on a branch over looking a cliff. People that see it are worried about what could happen, and I am just excited that I am in one place, secluded enough that I get to see people but far enough away that they only come to see ya if they aren't afraid of the trip that tumbleweed would be on if it fell. I would never say I live a perfect life, probably not even a exciting or well off life but I would say I live a life well lived, I do the best I can in the moment and let the moments to come get answered for when they get here. If I spent all my time planing tomorrow and it never comes I will have wasted my now, and ultimately the whole of my life. God made me what I am, someone you shake your head at and wonder why?....... tomorrow.
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