God's blessing can be many things and at blessed times, to assist the things he allows.

I have said before that I have struggled with anger off and on in my adult life.  I don't remember being an angry child but alot of my anger was from different childhood situations that came out in my adulthood. I began to really get a handle on my anger in my early 40's, I loved my 40's, I didn't like my 30's at all.  My forties were very uplifting, so much of my life just seemed to become more clear, I had gotten a handle on my depression and anger was becoming a thing of my past.  I did have bouts of it when I was frustrated with not being able to be home with my two little girls.  I finally took a leap of faith, and with the Grace of God, I quit my job at the sheriff's office and became the at home mom I needed to be.  The Lord provided for us and we got through to a better place.  We struggle and have to walk a pretty tight line to make it in our lives but God allows us what we need.  Sometimes we are given trials and sometimes we know not what we will do but God always provides in the end.

This last year, the first of my 50's, God began to give me patience in a whole new way. I have always had patience to do things like untangle yarn or thread, my mother taught me that, no she can't do it.  She would get her embroidery thread all tangled up and when I was really little she would hand it to my dad and he would fix it.  Once I got older, and dad would be at work, she would hand it to me,  I don't think she ever thought of it as a patience trainer, she just wanted her yarn or thread unknotted, and back then there was a dye lot on everything so new yarn wouldn't have helped.  The end result was that I have patience for little things, but it didn't always translate to people, IE I had anger problems occasionally.  My fifties has brought the end of my anger in a way I never expected.  I have learned that trials are blessing the Lord sends us.  We get to be challenged and learn so much from the trail and the end result can and is a blessing.  This year we have lost hundreds of dollar worth of our animal friends,  the cougar took so many of our favorite friends, but God provided us with a new path in our goat herd.  The well broke, and due to good Internet buying, God had given me the knowledge to find the pump at a good cost, and with Bug and Son's help Poppie got it fixed and we got through.  The Lord had provided us with such a blessing.   The Lord has given me new friends this year, helped me connect with old friends and given me CAKLS, such blessings have come our way.  The girls are doing well in Awana's and we are talking of go to Church, as we want that in our lives, and as my Parents have joined a new church for the first time in my life I feel that I won't be betraying my up bringing to try a new church.  The Lord sent me an enemy as a learning method in my life and that has truly been a bless that many would not understand.

This last month we have been blessed with the truck being broken.  Poppie was so upset at first,  he truly didn't understand how you go from the truck being in perfect shape to over night being broken.  He ended up getting our Jeep working which was a blessing in and of itself.  Poppie and I have gotten a manual for our truck and spent many an hour learning all the ends and outs of our truck.  Poppie was a certified mechanic, as a young man, but didn't pursue it as a profession so only did it on the side all these years.  His back injury really took away his ability to do the work the mechanicing requires so the new vehicles had become a mystery.  I have always been Poppie's right hand man with his mechanicing.  I took small engines in school so understand the concepts and machinations of the motor.  We read our manual, through trial and error we have ruled out many a problem on the truck.  We had finally narrowed the problem down to moisture.  Poppie, with the help of his friend Thor and Bug, cleaned out the whole fuel system.  What they found was amazing and not accidental.  The fuel system had over a quarter of water in it.  Moisture can be incidental in a fuel system but not a water bottle full of water.  The Lord blessed us that the water was put in the tank in November and not August, the cold kept the water from doing major damage to the truck,  in the end it will cost us several hundred dollars to fix, alot of down time, and my opportunity to do the MADE Fair but it is a blessing as well.  We have learn about the workings of our truck, many of Poppies logger friends, mechanic friends and family members assured Poppie that he had not damaged his truck he had done the right thing in his maintenance of his dear truck, this did not happen on it's own.  Poppie and I had the opportunity to share in our mechanicing, something we had thought was long past with the new vehicles, but we learned that we can learn.  We got to share our old hobby once again.  Blessing come in so many ways, the Lord has truly blessed me this year, trials, patience and the true dissolving of my anger... tomorrow.

Quick trip in to Zootown, groceries and CUBBIE, she is too old for her age.

Poppie spent the day working on his truck, his friends helped him,  they made a great deal of progress figured out some interesting things about why the truck is not running.  He is narrowing it down and should have it done soon.  He did drive it around town but when you go up hill it can't take the pressure and stops running.  But progress was made and that is a blessing.  Such a great blessing to have neighbors like Shinny and New Mamma, they graveled the road and then helped tow Poppie up the hill, I guess the good and the bad always balance out.

We left for the Zoo around 12, we dropped Boy off with Poppie so he could help with the fixing of the truck. I hear he was a trooper but eventually got scared when Thor turned on the diesel heater in the shop, it made a large scary rumbling, Boy ran for his life, Poppie teased him that it would get him and that only made him run faster.  Eventually all was well with him but he was ready to go home when it came time.  Nice bonding day for Boy and Poppie, not some much with the heater.

Cubbie was in rare form, she has gotten her voice in spades.  She was mouthy, opinionated, and said the most outrageous things.  You had to sheild your face so as not to let her know you were laughing at her antic.  She was so naughty and uncontrollable I had to resort to threats.  She found out Nannie was to take her to the dentist on Friday.  I told her is she didn't set nicely in the dentist office I would take her little bum home and she would not get to go see the "new baby sister".  She thinks Nannie means business so has assured me she will set nice and open her mouth.  I am very sure she will as I am not taking her to see the baby sister if she doesn't.  I am also just as sure if she doesn't her Momma would never speak to me again, or anyway not for a long time, if I didn't take her to the hospital to see the new baby sister.  I am very glad her smart little mouth and brain haven't figured that out yet, it will be next week before she does at the rate her little brain is advancing.  Poor Boy he doesn't have a chance she already runs circles around him and it isn't going to get any better having a second one for him to figure out how to deal with.  On the bright side, he may just have little women figured out by the time he has to start figuring out the big ones. 

Hoping to go get grain tomorrow, Poppie may go with Thor or maybe we will just borrow his truck and trailer.  Lots to do this week and so little time.  The "new baby sister" still doesn't have a name.  Cubbie said I could name her, Mokie said "no she can't",   I wished Cubbie got to be in charge on this one, I could think of a wonderful name and Cubbie would agree with me.  Isn't it funny how Grandmas and Grandchildren seem to agree more than Mothers and Daughters.... tomorrow.

God tells us to treat others as we would like to be treat, maybe not literally but the implication is there.

I am by all accounts, and for the most part, a very private person.  Blogging in this open manner, in such an open forum has been a real stretch for me and has been a bit of a learning and teaching experience.  I am sure that there are some of you that don't know me, and think I am nuts, in my meanderings and that's ok.  I am sure there are others of you thinking what is she thinking? or how did she get to there from here? I find blogging truly a soul cleansing journey.  I try to be true to myself and those around me, I try to give some ambiguity to those I know, that didn't ask to be in my blog, but due to there interactions with me they are apart of my life.  I won't say I have a relationship with all of them as there are clearly people I blog about that I have no relationship with, and don't want one, actually never did but since my momma taught be to be polite I have had to put up with some of the people I have come across. I, on the whole, try to live a pretty invisible life, I don't see the purpose in speaking out or objecting about things, if the outcome is not changeable or if the endeavor serves no purpose.  I think that being mean, to just be mean, is a thoughtless and a useless waste of time.  I think that complaining about some one just because they are going out of there way to treat you bad is like tattling. Eventually the person you tattle to gets so sick of you, then you become worse than the person treating you badly, the person whom you tattled on. I generally try to treat others with respect, and when confronted by an idiot, who sets their goals just to harass me, I try to take the high road and walk away. People will see that person for who they are in the end and given enough rope, most people hang themselves, especially in a small community. Being above the nastiness is always the path God would ask us to take, sometimes it is a hard thing to do but sometimes it is sort of like watching a slow motion train wreck, it can be such fun to see what happens especially when the person in the train wreck asks for everything they get and deserve it.

I do know that turning the other cheek is God's way for mankind, and as I get older, I find it easier and easier to see why God asks it of us. Sparring with an imbecile  makes you worse than they are, walking in light and going forward is so much easier.  I do so love the neighborhood I live in.  I have so many family members that I care deeply for here. I have good neighbors that I share with and enjoy in a manner like we are to in, Proverbs 27:10, (Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you--better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.)  I have neighbors I don't know, and have no desire to know, and that is ok. God doesn't ask me to be a busy body running around making an ass of myself, he leaves that to  people who's goal in life is to be an ass, there are those who fill that need in any community or neighborhood.  I live in a good neighborhood, where all these niches are filled, like in any neighborhood anywhere.

I often find it funny that people who complain and harp about indiscretions are general the most guilty of the act they harp about.  They see in others the crime or fault that is most prevalent in themselves.  Maybe it is because they are so aware of their short coming, on a daily bases, that they see it in others sort of like a reflection in a mirror. I think when you see a publican standing on the street screaming theft, you should probably check his pockets.  When you see someone yelling fraud, they probably just cheated the widow down the street out of her life savings.  The child who called wolf in the very basic child's tale is someone we should take heed of and we should remember the moral of the story. Some one that makes way to much noise just to get attention, all the time, has issues and should be watched.  Sadly they will eventually scream for help and no one will come because we will all be to numbed by their past misbehavior.  Remember in the grand scope of life you get to choose your path and only God should have input into what you do with your time on earth, and maybe your loved ones but never people of no consequence in your life, their opinion matters not.... tomorrow.