Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Names are a great part of who we are, do you like yours would you change it?

As a child I often heard my Mom talking about how she chose my name, it was between two. One an obscure unusually name, and the one she gave me, that was one of the most common names the year I was born.  I guess familiar and safe applied to her the most in the end. She started a pattern with my name and after discovering the pattern, after a few kids, she decided to continue it.  All of my Mom's oldest kids, the ones over 30, only have 5 letters in our first names.  She had to greatly distort one of my sisters names to make it in compliance with her pattern.  She named her three youngest daughters totally different names but with a new pattern, all three long K names with the same exact middle name, now isn't that hard to have any individuality being triplets.  Funny where are minds take us when we are naming our progeny.  My adult children all have the same initials, MLK.  Mom once told me since all your kids have the same initials why don't you put all three of their initials on their sock, she thought a moment and remembered that wouldn't work.  My grandkids all have the initials of E, K or R, funny how as kids they didn't like that they had the same initials but all of their kids have the same first initials. 

I was born just a little to early to be of the hippie era.  I am glad that I didn't have to be Rowen Apple,  River, Freedom or Tomorrow's Sunshine.  I do think that plain and ordinary fits me much more than something odd and out there would have.  My two little girls, I had a hand in naming them.  Yogie, I got to give her her middle name, it is shared by myself and my mother as well.  Booboo, I got to influence Goofy and came up with Booboo first name and assist in her middle name.  I didn't change either name when Poppie and I got to adopt them.  I did change the spelling of Yogies, and thought long and hard about shortening Booboo's but in the end we just changed both of their last names.  We decided that their middle and first names were part of who they were and the their last name had always been our last name, as we had not used their biological dad's name once they moved in to our home, so that was their true last name.

I love to names, and like with other words, or historical events, love to study them in detail.  I contemplate why some one would choose the names they do for their kids and pets.  I think that so many people choose names on a whim or for no reason but that they like it and that's ok.  God guides our hands when we name our children because in the end we get the name we were supposed to have.  I do think it is funny when people who pick names, for no apparent reason, get a child that personifies the meaning of the name they were given, and the parent struggles with consequences of their not knowing what the name meant.  Like when little William, is determined or resolute, well duh that is the meaning of the name, and stubborn is in there too. Names are so much fun and they have such depth in their meanings.  Think before you names your daughter Sassy or Gabby.  Faith, Hope and Charity have big meanings as well. So in the end naming your child can be a big responsibility so, why not, just name them the name you do because you like it, it is your right.  They have to be called it the rest of their lives not you.  I would think the if your last name was Hogg you shouldn't name your twin daughters Ima or Youra, that would be cruel, and was.  Names are so much of who and what we are.  Nicknames will come and go in your life, or maybe they let you change a name you can not abide that your parents just loved in the moment.  Poppie once though Gertrude Sue was the greatest name, well Mokie doesn't like her name, she doesn't like names that can be both boy or girls names and hers is, but she is really glad I didn't let Poppie name her Gertie.  So she does like her name, a little.

I think you should be proud of the name you have, someone loved you and thought that that would be a perfect name for you, and in the end they were right and it influenced greatly who you are.  Now if Bubbie could just get a name, before she arrives, I am sure she would be happy.  Mokie and Son are still not all that worried or decisive yet, it is after all 9 whole days before she needs one.... tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Motherhood, there isn't a manual, we come into it at our own pace, a lifetime of learning.

I often find the interest that our society gives to training and teaching you how to be pregnant funny; and some how incomplete like a book that the author only wrote the first chapter too, where is the rest of the manual.  You get a Doctor that dotes on your needs, you go to the hospital where they jump at your every need, they take you to the door hand you your baby in the wheelchair they made you ride in, they assist you into your car and help you put your baby into the car seat, that is required by law, for the baby to ride in, your every move orchestrated for nine months.  You drive out of the parking lot and for many a new parent you have no idea what comes next.   They didn't give you a instructions in the box of goodies that came home with you.  You are scared and have no idea what you are going to do with that little bundle of joy.  I know some of you have it all planned out and have a how to book and a theory of what you will do to make the perfect child.  You got this.  Well for the rest of us, and you too eventually, raising a child is like riding a roller coaster.  I think that that may have been God's intent.  I think that raising a child is supposed to be a growing experience as much for the parents as it is for the child.  I think that we get to make mistakes every day raising our child just like we get to make mistakes with our own lives.  If God didn't want people to be raised with a human loving imperfect touch he would have had us be born adults.  I think that childhood is a flawed lovely time of bonding and experiment.  I think that the hard times in our lives mold our children in different ways than we were molded in our childhoods.  We are never going to raise our children the way our parents raised us, some may try, but life is so different each day that it is not possible to accomplish.  I know that rarely does anyone want to raise  their children in the exact same way they were raised, there are always changes we want to make.  We get to critic our parents parenting and we inevitably want to fine tune it.  I have a friend who thinks she raises her kids the exact same way her momma raised her, then I hear her saying in a more candid moments " I want this for my kids a little different than when I was a kid" she makes changes too, if only she were strong enough and honest enough with herself to stand up and take credit for her changes in parenting.  I think just when we seem to get it right our kids are all grown up.  Maybe that is the secret, that pride in our success that isn't really ours but the success of the child we raised.

I like being a grandparent.  I get to see my kids going through the process.  They are just as scared as I was, they are just as clumsy and just as frustrated, I must have done something right after all.  I also have the unique experience of getting to do it all over again with them.  I am more at peace this time around, but just as scared and just as frustrated, but know that in the end my kids will get raised and succeed and want to change all the mistakes I made raising them.  How wonderful the cycle of life is.  It is like a hoop that rolls down a hill, over and over again, each time there are different bumps to navigate but in the end it gets to the bottom of the hill so God can take it to the top and let it roll down anew with each new birth, Always the same and never alike.... tomorrow.

Monday, November 28, 2011

School today, a day of rest, not, Cubbie to visit while Mom goes to a OB appointment.

The ladies couldn't seem to go to sleep last night, they talked and giggles well past their bedtime.  I did make a deal with them if they brush their teeth both morning and night until Bubbie is born, with out me having to nag, they could go see her at the hospital, if not I wouldn't take them.  I have to take all four, Yogie, Booboo, Boy and Cubbie to the dentist the morning that Bubbie is to come, and I threatened not to take them to see her, I am not sure that my ladies are old enough to understand the hollowness of the threat but it is working so far. Nice not to have to nag, I think the lecture of how they are old enough for it to be their responsibility without me reminding them is getting old. They are up and about getting ready to go to school so they are excited to get to see their friends again which it good.

The girls and I split wood and stacked it while Poppie worked on the Jeep yesterday afternoon.  He found the the heater didn't work because of a faulty vacuum line, he couldn't make a little door open as the vacuum wasn't fixable so he blocked it open.  They will now have heat in the Jeep on their way to school.  He and friend made a taillight to replace the one that was broken.  Funny he has already had two offers to buy the Jeep and he has barely gotten it on the road.  It is a wonderful old Jeep and will celebrate it's 40 th birthday in 2013.  It is a nice old vintage vehicle and that is why Poppie was so glad to receive it when Belle's Groom gave it to him.  It is such a blessing that we have it now. 

I am finishing working on a moose sculpture and a feather sculpture, hoping to list them on ETSY and Ebay soon.  I have been working on a special order for a walking stick and a knife that we should finish today.  Got an order for a knife handle for a new to be grandfather to make his first grandson his first knife so will finish up that today, I love when I get to help someone make a special gift that will be come an heirloom. 

I will have Cubbie this morning and Boy after pre-school today,  Mokie is going to Zootown for one of her last OB appointments.  They are getting so excited for Bubbie to come, I am hoping they are narrowing down her name or she won't be able to come home from the hospital, too funny.  I think they will get it picked out soon it is just funny that they procrastinate to the very last minute with their girl's names.  Mokie was told by her OB Dr to gain weight she has lost a total of 6 lbs since she got pregnant, she is healthy and the baby is healthy but she is starting to look a little thin.  I think it is a combination of her Chrons and her new teeth helping to keep her losing weight.  She had a little extra to begin with but now she is thin. 

I hear a distinct lack of movement in the other room so off to prod the ladies into action.... tomorrow.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Holding on to tight destroys relationships, giving it all to Christ the only true path.

I think that we get so catch up in our daily life and our needs that sometimes we forget that we are not in this life alone.  God never intended us to be alone in this life.  We are all searching for that what completes us, or the who that completes us.  I luckily was able to have found Poppie at a very young age and he is what I think of as the who that completes me but I am and have been wrong most of my life in that.  The who that completes me is God, and having God as my true other half is what gave me the blessing of Poppie.  I see so many people who long for so many things in their lives and it just never seems to happen for them. I too long for things, and being a bit of a fatalist I don't dwell on the longing for what I can not have to long.  I think that we sometimes fail to remember that all our blessings come from God. That through God we can have anything he chooses to bless us with.  We try to do for ourselves, and get by in such away that we are the driving forces, what we forget to let God bless us.  We have to learn to let go of our will and do God's will and the blessings will come.  God wants to bless us and we need to be able to be blessed.  I long for friends so much of the time, I have friends but they like me are busy with their own lives and I forget to take the time for my friends. I try sometimes to hold on to friendships so tightly that like the landowner, in Luke 12:13-21, I lose what means the most to me.  I do the same with family.  I am not greedy with my material things, I never have been I think that my father instilled that in me in a way that truly finds pleasing with God. I truly would give you the shirt off my back and not look back for it.   I fail to meet the Lords will in my friendships and relationships.  I need to stop hanging on so tightly so that the Lord can bless me.  I do know that this year, and in many way through my blog, I have connected with God on a level that I have failed to most of my life.  By talking to the Lord and studying what he wants me to do with the blessing he sends me I am being more blessed everyday.  I listen to his voice in a way I hadn't for so long and he blesses me more each day for having done so. 

Luke 12:13-21

[13] Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me."

[14] Jesus replied, "Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?" [15] Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

[16] And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. [17] He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.'

[18] "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. [19] And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." '

[20] "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?'

[21] "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."

I know some of you are wondering why I would compare the Landowner parable with my friendships, the reason is that I am not greedy with the material things I have in this life. I can and do share what I have with anyone who needs it, sometime to the point where I don't know where I will get enough food for my kids tomorrow, and God blesses me; but it is friendships and family that I try to hang on to tightly too.  I forget that when you love something you need to set it free, if it loves you it will come back to you if it doesn't it never did.  I so cherish time with my friends that I can't remember to open myself up to allowing them to be my friends, I hang on so tight I lose them and God can't bless me.  I do the same with my family, and instead of them coming to me as a friend they see me as a chore.  I don't open myself up to letting them be with me, the Lord can't not bless me there either.  I have to get to a place where he can bless me, I have to let go so I can be blessed.  I am trying and have made great strides in that this year.... tomorrow.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

No snow here so no sledding, A day with the ladies, I know not what it will bring.

The snow has been rained away so it is just chilly out and no sledding here in the yard.  I am not sure they remember that that was there plan for the weekend or not.  The grandkids were here and they played in the boat so I think that there ability to adapt and go forward is alive and intact.  It always amazes me how eight and nine year olds change at the blink of an eye.  Just a short year or so ago they were totally dependent on you for their entertainment or thoughts for it.  I am not saying they didn't play and imagine on their own but they still looked to you for structure.  Now my ladies are so much the leaders of the group, they invent the games and guide the littler ones.  They are shortly to no longer be the little girls and will be the young ladies that will determine their lives. I am both proud and so sad to see them develop into who they will be.  I still have to referee some but not the same way I once had to.  They now are developing their strengths in a way that makes them so different from one another and yet so similar.  They call each other on their squabbles in a more meaningful way.  They stand up for their rights to be different.  I am so proud of their initiatives to do for themselves and for others.  I am not sure my older girls were ever like this and surely not at this age.  I was not as good a parent then, and do so regret it, but you can't change the past.  Lamenting yesterday serves no purpose for anyone and is an exercise in futility. It is however humbling to look back and sometimes to look forward.  The past mistakes are not changeable, the future success is plant able if done right.  It is like sowing a seed, we harvest what we sow.  God watches our harvest and blesses us.

I am hoping to spend the day doing something fun with the ladies today, maybe cookies, outdoor chores, maybe some Kinect, some laundry or who knows what.  We are trying to be well rounded, so all would be options toward that goal.  I do know unless a huge storm rolls through we won't be sledding anywhere near here.  I heard someone say this morning. "don't let someone Else's urgency determine your response"  I like that, no one has the right to make you do any thing, you choose your timing and your path.  I hope I have instilled that strongly enough in my girls, if not I will keep working on their getting it.... tomorrow.

Friday, November 25, 2011

I am not out shopping on black friday, never have. May move Swiss Miss Chops home.

All had a good time on Thanksgiving.   We ended up with 18, 8 were littles.  We prayed together, ate together visited together, ate too much more together, and have too many left overs together, so nice loving holiday was had by all.  Kids ran and were loud, they had spats, fought, laughed, cried and had a grand old time, just like I remember when I got to go to grandma's, so the tradition is in tacked and living on she would be so proud.  I started the dishes on the process, and since unlike my grandmother I use the dishwasher, I will have it running all day.  The leftovers are stored and safe, the two carcases are bubbling away on low in the roaster that one of them roasted in.  Son brought a smoked turkey, he had cook yesterday, and I asked if I could have the bones, he assured me he had not desire to mount them on the wall for posterity so they joined mine to make a nice stock.  I so love to have it on hand so a discarded set of bones or two are a win win.  The girls were so good yesterday, they peeled potatoes and helped like the ladies they will become. I can't remember ever having so much help and I do so hate to be alone in the kitchen, I guess I made one change in my parenting that was a great success.  I can say that the older two, that were here, helped as well, they wouldn't have wanted to be out done by the littles.  So win win on both levels, a blessing to be sure. 

We have decided that today is the day that Swiss Miss Chops comes home, her beau is now stealing all of her food and she is starting to get a little thin so maybe she needs to be back in her own little digs.  She will like being back where we can pamper her and she can eat all she wants.  Her little stall is nice and dry, and roomy as well, no grumpy old man to deal with, so she will be happy to return home.  How nice a couple with their own places, sort of like having a man cave, literally, to send the hubs to, a dream of a lot of couples I am sure.  No man caves here Poppie has to put up with me and so far seems to like it.  Or so I think, uhmmm?

I am not going out on Black Friday, never felt the need, well mostly because I usually don't have money that coincides with the day, but still traveling a long ways to fight in a brawl with a bunch of people over discounted items never said Christmas to me.  The reason for the season is still Christ and not sure that the greed displayed today sings to my heart or would bless the items I might buy.   I will spend the day, knitting Poppie's socks, reading with the ladies, and probably sorting out squabbles with the grandkids, so much to look forward to and a great way to start to look forward to the celebration of our Lords birth.  Happy Holiday's one and all, isn't it nice that the Lords lets the whole world celebrate it together once a year, and daily for so many of us.... tomorrow.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Children are what I am most thankful for in this life, God so blessed me and I am thankful.

 I think that children have always been a focal point in my life. I was 3 and half when my mother had had 5 children, I am the oldest.  I can't or don't remember not having a sibling. I can't or don't remember not having lots of siblings.  The most prominent fact of my life is and has always been kids.  My grandfather once told me my mother and my grandmother Gladys both got a double helping of mothering.  I didn't know at the time, and maybe no one would have suspected it, but I think that I may have gotten a double helping too. I can't say there wasn't a time in my life when I was overwhelmed by children, and said I never wanted to see another one in my whole life, but in hindsight I am thinking it was a momentary lapse and the thought probably went away in moments.  I have 11 siblings, countless cousins, bunches of nieces and nephews, 5 children and nearly 9 grandkids... the Lord has so blessed me.  I seem to draw children, generally little ones that won't go to anyone will come to me.  I guess God just made me a simple person that had a slow enough life pace to spend time spending time with kids.  I think he truly blessed me in that and I don't take it lightly the older I get.  I truly love to spend time with kids.  I am not the sweet baby talking person that talks down to them,  I spend time with them but I talk to them not over them.  I love to read with them, or let them read to me, even when they don't know what the words say.  I love to teach them to cook, long before most people have the patience to have them in the kitchen.  I expect a lot from the child I am teaching, and maybe in the end that is why I relate well to them, I expect what they are capable for them and that gives them pride in their selves.  I can't really explain it, and I dont' need to, I just give thanks to the Lord for all the children, past, present and future in my life.  And no to my kids, that want me to get more,  I only want grandkids in my future I am old and have earned the right to send them home.  I do have the ladies and they are enough work for this old soul, though I will let the Lord determine the future.

I find it interesting when people baptise children.  I know I have heard that we are all born sinners and that they need to be baptised encase they die so they would go home to the Lord.  I was not raised in a church that believed that.  I personally don't think the bible reads that way, and don't want to fight theology about it.  I just know that Jesus only was upset with his fellow man one time,  He was not upset when they arrested him, beat him, ridiculed him, denied him, or crucified him,  He was upset when they wouldn't let the children come to him.  Luke 18:16. Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.  God the father, and God the son both love children,  there is nothing like a child.  There is nothing closer to heaven than a child.  Only one being ever was born and lived on this earth more innocent than a child.  Jesus, and Jesus reaffirmed that they are who the kingdom of God belongs to.  No children don't need baptised they will make their choices for God as they grow but in their innocence they are God's own. 

Today I will take time to make fudge with my grandson, this morning, make jello with my daughters (we made pies, cheesecake, fudge, cranberries and yams yesterday), today of all days I give thanks to the Lord but mostly I give him thanks for all the children that have been and are to come in my life.... tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Prince gets captured, Mokie's and Son generosity gets us through, Baking with the ladies.

Poppie and I caught the bird yesterday, no not a turkey.  We will be keeping both toms for breeding in our little flock.  We caught Prince.  He didn't come down from his perch until late in the morning nearly noon.  We was still scared from the trauma of seeing his friend mauled.  He was very leery even when down the day before.  We had tried to catch him so he knew something was out of the ordinary so was cautious of us as well.  We feed him and tried to catch him without making exaggerated movements.  He was aware of our endeavor but not scared enough to really run, we tried to get him but he moved out of our range into the goat pen.  We didn't want to totally scare him into a tree where we couldn't get him at all.  We left him be and went on about our regular routine, then about a half hour later I went into the goat pen to give the piglets some slop and he seemed to think I was done with him.  Poppie came in a little later and walked past him as well.  He went over to get a drink at the waterer between the building, sort of like in a little man made canyon.  We made our move he tried to go in the goat barn but Root Beer was standing in the door way so he passed in the boxed in corner and just at he started to jump up and over the gate Poppie made his more.  Poppie grabbed his tail knowing if Prince got away we wouldn't not get another chance until morning.  He flapped his wings frantically until I grabbed them.  One smacked Poppie in the face before I grabbed it.  His claw cut Poppies hand but we secured him and put him in the chicken coop with his friend quickly to reduce the trauma to him.  He seemed to be glad to see his friend and calmed down instantly.  I am so glad they are secure for the winter, as soon as Duke is healed we will put them in with the turkeys, maybe their lady friend will be here by then.  We are looking for more females, at least one more.  We would like to breed both turkeys and peacocks,  Hoping to get rabbit in the spring as well. The girls will be going 4h next 4h year so they will have lots of options for participation.  We are truly blessed with our little farm.

Poppie is making head way on getting us a vehicle to drive.  Mokie and Son have been very generous with us.  They have shared their car and that has truly been a great kindness.  Poppie figured out that the fuel filter in the jeep had a hair line crack in it and that is why the previous owner had problems with the gas seeming to drain back in the tank.  He fixed it and drove the jeep on a short run.  He now has to fix the taillight, the front passenger door latch, it came open on his trial run, and get a forty day sticker and we will be good to go. 

I made a sad decision yesterday.  I had to withdraw from the MADE Fair yesterday,  I won't have the ability to take my stuff in to Zootown to participate so I withdrew so they could get another vendor in my place. It was a very hard decision as I worked hard to get in.  Poppie won't let me take the jeep that far until we have driven it awhile, and if there are in more bugs in it he couldn't come to my aid.  The baby will be coming 2 days before and I will still have Cubbie and Boy so obligations to my family also played into my decision.  I know that God guided me to my finally decision but it was hard to come to.  I may never get in to the show again if they think I was frivolous for not going.  I do know my choice was what God wanted now as I sold a bunch of items on Ebay yesterday and the day before so am on track with my inventory. Now I will just have to get to work listing all of it one line.  I also have to carve some more pieces to replace the ones that sold.  I have got a sculpture to list that I finished up and a new sculpted feather wall hanging, thanks to Dukes mauling, that I am just finishing,  Life is so wonderful when we try to look to the good; God asks us to, though sometimes we forget, but when we do, and our lives are insinc with his will, we are truly greatly blessed.  Tomorrow we count our blessing on a special day, with people who don't always do so daily, so I am making up my list to share.  Off to get the ladies up we are baking today, so much fun.... tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

New date for Bubbie, Feathers everywhere, and a slow paced day before the rush.

Mokie went to her doctor yesterday, Cubbie got to go that made her day. Mokie's doctor has canceled her plans to be out of the area on the 9th so she is changing the baby's birthday back to the original c-section date.  The baby will be bigger and healthier than having to have her be born on the 2nd so that was great news.  Now the pattern will be complete, Boy's birthday is the 11 of the month, Cubbie's the 10 of the month and Bubbie's will be the 9, cool and fun stat.

 Poppie and I had a nice slow paced morning, sometimes when things are so overwhelming you just have to go with the flow and know that God has a plan for you and you just have patience to see what it is.  We were doing chores and notice one of the peacocks was acting oddly.  He was walking over toward but noticed feathers everywhere in the garden so went there instead.  There were big dog tracks all around and bloody feathers scattered all over.  He was saddened and since he could only see the one peacock on the snow heap he thought one must surely be dead.  I had been feeding goats when he had made his discovery so came around the barn to talk to him.  He was coming out of the house with dog food for Lewie as she is chained in the goat pen as a protector for them.  I said your peacock that is here must have moved over my the hay barn I just feed him.  Poppie said are you sure he's there.  I said yes he is right at my feet.  Poppie then went and checked to see if one was still on the snow heap, sure enough he was still there acting strange.  We walked over and he was the victim of the dog attack.  He had a majority of his tail feathers gone, some wing feathers and you can see where something had him by the neck.  We checked out the scene, you could see where the dog grabbed him off of his fence post  perch and drug him into the garden.  We don't know how the peacock got away from the dog, especially with the neck damage. It was a miracle, or he had help, the Lord only knows at this point.  Poppie was able to pick up the peacock, it was Duke, the younger peacock that was attacked.  He put him in the chicken coop, he had been with them before, they were scared enough of him that they didn't attack his bloody areas.  Poppie checked him several time yesterday and he seems to be doing ok.  We tried to catch, Prince, the other peacock, but he was scared kept hiding under the camper, he surely witnessed the whole thing, to bad he can't tell us the details. We are going to try and catch him today, Poppie has a net so when I feed Prince he will try and throw it over the peacock.  He lets me walk to with in a couple feet to feed him, so hopefully we can put him up for the winter.  We had hoped to put them with the turkeys but will have to keep them with the chickens hoping Duke heals.

I spent the afternoon taking it easy, a day of rest before all the cooking begins on Wednesday.  I did start the turkey in its brine but for the most part I chilled a little.  I did sort out the peacock feathers for making wall sculptures or paintings.  I had found a piece of driftwood this summer that looked like the head and body of a peacock and with the eye feathers I can make a beautiful sculpture that looks like a fanning peacock.  Poppie is helping me with the frame, and I hand dyed some more deer skin to make a contrasting background for it.  I dyed some blue green tye dye and some maroon, the blue green is gorgeous and looks like the colors of the eyes but won't be enough contrast so will probably use the maroons or a combo of the two. It was nice to have a peaceful day of art, after all the commotion of the morning.  Coffee is served.... tomorrow.

Monday, November 21, 2011

There is no such thing as a free lunch? What is the goal of your life?

Years ago I heard a "joke" about a man who wanted to read the bible but he was too lazy to read so many books and pages.  He was a rich man and he thought he would pay some one to condense the massive volume down for to his liking.  He hired a group of translators, clerics and cynics to work together on the task.  They studied and worked on the problem and returned sometime later with a chapter for him to read, he was aghast that he would be required to read so much still so he sent them back to their work.  They returned again with a page and he was still not happy.  They went back to the drawing board and returned with a paragraph and that was still to long for him.  He angrily sent them back to get it right, they returned a long time later with a sentence.  "There is no such thing as a free lunch" was their concentrated and condensed version on the Bible.  To some this is funny, to others horrible sacrilegious but in reality probably the basic truth if they had included any reference to the Lord Jesus.  The Bible is not a story of a free lunch or a free ride to life eternal.  Jesus paid it all for all who believe on him, that in essence is does validate that there is no such thing as a free lunch.  I have often thought the funniest part of the joke, and probably the real humor we were mean to get, was that the laziness of the rich man represents so many peoples outlook on spiritual believe or the quest for it.  Some many people want it to be a neatly handed to them with out any work on their part.  They over look that the path of spirituality can be a lifetime journey with ups and downs, a life time of understanding and study.  Alas there are those who come to the Lord in the last moment of life, but they didn't send people out to do the work for them, they truly only come to the Lord at the end of their lives by true love and spiritual transformation not through sinful lazy intent.

What is the goal of your life?  I have always know that my goal is to go to Heaven when I die, but I have human frailty and haven't always walked a straight path to the Lord.  Others would judge and say that I have never been on a path with the Lord.  I do so love that the Lord will judge me and not my fellow man.  I have learned along the path of my lifetime that we never truly know anyone but ourselves. Sometimes we get to know our spouses, but still some only know so much about their spouses.  I would say I know Poppie as good as anyone knows another person and he me, but I do know couples who don't seem to know each other that well and what's more don't care about knowing each other any better than they do.  I truly don't understand that but it is not for me to judge. Knowing so little about our fellow man is a good thing and a bad thing I suppose.  Not knowing gives us all freedom of our own life, but opens us up to the imagination of overly curious people, who have entirely to much time on their hands and waging tongues.  I think the gossip is something we all endure and become victim to along the way in our lives but that shouldn't discourage us.  Live in the end is about our choices, our goals, and our belief in God.  We get to choose, accept and devote our lives to the Lord on his terms, he knows us as we really are and loves us still, thank goodness it is him and not humanity that gets to see into our souls.....tomorrow.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Wonderful baby shower, all had a nice time, mostly a family event, the best kind.

We had great time at the baby shower, all enjoyed the camaraderie and simple ease of just getting to play games and enjoy one anothers company. We played five games, one of them a memory game that took lots of concentration, Flower ended up the winner, she did a wonderful job or remembering the complicated list of answers.  She not only remembered them but did it at a surprising speed.  Mokie got some very nice gifts but most important got to see how much she is loved by so many people, friends and family alike.  All the kids got to play the games that wanted to.  Niece and Niecy came late but it was so nice to see them.  Little Niecy is getting so big she is 8 months old now.  She is starting to crawl very reminiscent of the way her mamma crawled.  It is so hard to believe I am watching my great nieces and nephews, it seems like just yesterday that the first generation crawled at my feet.  Little Niecy has elf ears just like, Yogie and her momma and uncle. They are adorable cute and stick out past her little hat.

I made Reuben roll up and the cheesecake turned out nice.  It should have been rested a little longer than it was but as it got eaten up and the only one it bothered was me I suppose.  The littles all enjoyed the cupcakes that Yogie and Booboo make, they put little K's on them as we know the baby's name will start with a K.  I am tired and ready for bed but it is a nice tired one of comfort and warmth.  I know I am loved and a part of a big large kooky family that fights as hard for one another as we do with one another.  Now all we have to do it wait for the baby to arrive and hope we have something to drive to go to see her when she comes.  God blessed us with a wonderful day, as he does every day, I enjoyed it and was at peace with my life.  I intended to do the same as many days as I can.  Peace has come into my life and we have become dear friends, the hard way, but we are indeed friends and I cherish the life it brings. I know that God has made great progress in my life, and no ones opinion of my life matters more than God's.  He loves me and what more do I need than the blessing He sends my way.... tomorrow.

Baby shower day, Winter blues and God's blessings and love.

Today is the day of the baby shower, we have a lot of snow on our little hill and more came down during the night. Our hill is hard to make in the winter, even if you have a front wheel drive or sometimes a four wheel drive.  Driving ability is paramount to making it do the top of the hill, some are not making it up. Others make it up fine, confidence is a factor as well. I hope people are able to come if not the ones who do will be enjoyed and we will have fun.  The girls are finishing up there coloring project, then cooking to finish.  We got most of the carpets cleaned yesterday, a couple left to do this morning too. A project and plan always makes the morning go by faster.

Sister had a blue day yesterday, I am sorry she was so blue.  I spent my 30's blue and wouldn't go back to my 30's for the world, I have said so for years.  I am now getting old enough and past it enough to realize it was not my 30's so much as loneliness that I could not over come, I think maybe in many respects I tried to do it on my own and eventually was overwhelmed and gave up.  I didn't trust the Lord enough to take it to him, I didn't know how to ask my family for help and they didn't know how to help me.  I asked Poppie for help but he didn't know what to do and so in the end he enabled me to become worse.  He did it out of love but didn't know what I really needed.  I had to learn with distance that my 30's was something to give thanks for. I enjoy live so much more now because I know what it is like to let it pass you by.

I take solace in the scripture, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.  I think this is one of my favorite verses in all the bible.  I think that when we are in the midst of the hardest times in our lives and take a moment to give thanks it takes our mind off of our circumstances and makes us think about our love for God.  It renews our faith and understanding that God is in control of our lives.  We just have to remember not to try and take control but to take joy in the fact that God controls our lives and we need to take comfort in that.  This year has been a hard year, on many levels, for us here but in so many ways this has been a wonderful year. I have spent so much more time with the Lord than I have in many years.  I have given my little ladies a true sense of God more than any other time in their lives.  We speak of the Lord more daily than we have in years.  We pay homage and reverence to him so much more, we are giving him the control of our lives.   I think that in ways the problems we have had are a direct attacks from Satan testing our faith.  Satan has seen that we are happier, our faith in God is stronger and he pushes us to see if we will continue to have faith in God.  We are grounded in the truth, and living there, so we are his failures but our spirits are so much more secure.... tomorrow.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Finish work to do on the shower, Poppie is still working on his vehicles.

The ladies and I are going to be baking this afternoon, they are both making up cupcakes and I am going to make up a cheesecake, Mokie's favorite kind.  I had made different decorated cakes for the first two showers, so going a little bit different this year.  The girls are going to make color pages for decorations, the theme is Minnie Mouse. I will be simple little shower but it should be lots of fun. We changed the time from 2 to 5 as some of the people who wanted to come could only come later, so I  hope that works out well.

We got more snow over night and have over a foot in the yard.  Boy brought his little snow shovel over yesterday and shoveled paths for Nannie and Poppie everywhere.  The paths don't always go anywhere or actually connect but he did his best, with a big heart and lots of energy.  He does love to shovel. I like the snow when it is clean and crisp, there seems to be a warmth that fresh fallen snow brings.  I don't like when the cold comes and hardens it and the below zero weather settles in.  I am hoping for the warm and wet of winter not the cold and harsh.  Now if I could just put in an order for the snow to stay off the roadways all would be perfect.

Poppie is still working out what he is going to do with the truck and the jeep.  One of his mechanic friends suggested how to clean the injectors and I found a method on the Internet so as it can't do any harm to the injector if all they are to be just cores, we are going to try to clean them.

The goats and the piglets are adjusting to the snow. the turkeys and peacocks are not so happy with the snow, they seem to find it inconvenient.  The chickens are all enclosed so they don't really have a reaction other than currently not laying eggs.  Poppie has installed new lights, straw and still no luck, but they are still moulting.

I just got a call from one of my Crazy Goat Lady friends, she is still as much fun and a nutty as ever but was nice to talk to her.  She is very eccentric and lonely so I do enjoy talking to her and hope it lifts her spirits.  I can't always agree with her ideas but she is a wealth of information and help with my goats at times.  She has recently been disabled so is struggling to come to terms with her new circumstances.  Off to get prepared for the shower, the girls have so many thoughts and plans....tomorrow.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Sadie Sue had to be spay, Poppie worries all day and tries to get the jeep going.

We had to call the vet yesterday, Sadie Sue had been in heat about a month ago and she never really came in heat right and we never saw her tied with a dog but we suspected she may be pregnant.  She having her messed up pelvis was in danger at this point.  The vet said he could spay her right away,  Mokie took her right over.  He confirmed that her pelvis was broken from being stepped on as a newborn.  Poppie was a wreck the whole time they were gone he was so worried something would go wrong and she would die.  He was especially mad at Mokie's dog that caused the problem, in Poppie's eyes, in the first place. 

I tried to get Poppie to finish getting the fuel pump on the jeep so we would have it to drive.  The one he had is for a different motor, so he is getting one from a friend this morning.  I looked on line and the Internet says that the injector may be able to be cleaned as the vehicle does still run.  He is going to talk to a couple of his diesel mechanic friends and find out if that is possible.  On line there are a couple of ways to do it, and as they have to be replaced anyway the way they are there is no harming in trying.

I had been brining a beef brisket into a cornbeef.  I had taken water, salt, sugar, and seasoning, (allspice, juniper berry, cloves, mustard seeds, bay leaves, and a few others) and a crock and brined the meat for 8 days.  It smelled good out of the crock, but Poppie didn't think it smelled like cornbeef.  I roasted the cornbeef in the oven, it was actually in two pieces as it wouldn't fit in the crock in one pieces it weighed 15 pounds.  The smaller pieces was done first so I removed it from the oven, let it rest and cut it.  I tasted fine to me.  I used it, and the sauerkraut the girls and I made, to make Reuben's.  I also so added homemade thousand island and cheese.  Poppie has struggled to eat anything with kraut on it since his accident, 4 years ago.  He tried his sandwiches.  He being a cornbeef connoisseur was skeptical but once he bit into it he loved it,  he likes it better than the store bought cornbeef.  I was happy he like it, we will be making our own from now on.  He loved his Reuben's as well, I had put limited amount of sauerkraut on and he was able to eat them, I am glad as he actually used to love sauerkraut so much. 

My little Sadie Sue is up and around and wants to be petted. Poppie is so happy she is home and going to make a total recovery.  God blesses us in so many ways, I am so sad for those who don't count the little blessings, in so many ways they are the most important one, big one are nice but only happen as events, little ones are something you can cherish daily... tomorrow.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Poppie's truck has given up the ghost, Thank the Lord for the past kindness of friends.

Well the bad news came hard for Poppie yesterday. His friend and constant companion, his beloved truck, needs new injectors.  Maybe they could be cleaned but in the long run they need to be replaced.  We found the cheapest ones on eBay, I am the queen of eBay you know, but they are still going to cost 1500 dollars and core fee upfront.  So we will be without his dear friend for most of the winter until we can get the money together.  We have two vehicles in the yard, that friends have given Poppie in the last couple years for various reasons, plus the little Beetle Bug that I bought Poppie several years ago.  Okay, the Beetle Bug is not an options this time of year, 1965 Beetle bugs dont' have heaters that work worth anything and the hill is not going to be possible for it to make with any real snow on it.  I know people who are not used to the hill that can't drive a 4 wheel drive up it.  It is a blessing that all my kids had to learn to drive up the hill as part of their learning curve.  I can actually drive a 2 wheel drive 1975 Mercedes up in in a snow storm, patience is a virtue don't you know.  I digress.  The van that Lady gave us is not 4 wheel drive, we could drive it up but it would be the most work to actually drive up regularly and I do so hate to walk up the hill and have actually gone over the edge so not a real option for the winter either.  The jeep the Belle's Groom gave us is the perfect option.  It is a 1973 Jeep Cherokee, and it is 4 wheel drive, we have to put the hubs in manually but I will learn.  He had all new interior put in, very lovely as he was going to restore it so is in great shape for it's age.  Poppie had to roll up the windows, one needs replaced but is able to be rolled up and left in place.  I has good tires all around.  Poppie has to change out the fuel pump, as it losses prime if it sets but Poppie has one.  It is such a blessing that we have friends that gave us so many options. God always sees us through and gives us options for our lives.

It is a good thing we have all our firewood in, we won't be able to get anymore for people, well if we had to I am sure the Jeep would pull a trailer but as the snow will be getting deep in the mountains we probably won't have to.  We should have plenty for ourselves and a little extra if someone truly is in need.  We will get by on the Lords blessing for the winter and spring will bring renewal and options not yet seen for our lives.  I am so blessed that God has made plans for our security in advance and we had the resources laid up in store from him, and our friends.... tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Poppie's truck is having a tantrum, Coldest day of the season brings death.

Poppie took the kids to school yesterday and was to take two of Son's piglets out to Professor, but on the way back from school to pick up the piglets the truck started acting up.  It kept dying and he could restart it and limped it home.  He thought that it just need some fuel additive so picked up the piglets stopped got fuel and additive and started out to the Professor's.  He didn't make it out of town.  He had to have Mokie pick up the piglets and take them out, he stopped and got a new fuel filter and came home to install it.  He got home changed the filter, and couldn't prime the system. His friend Thor came over, brought some diesel to prime the system, and helped him.  They got the truck working and all seemed well with Poppie's truck.  He drove to town and picked up the kids from school later in the day.  The truck was acting up again.  He was frustrated at this point and had to really start thinking about what to do.  He will be home today trying to figure out where to go from here, Poppie, number one hates when his truck is not working and hates when something mechanically baffles him.  He also dislikes that all the new vehicles are more and more computer run so he has less and less opportunity to fix the problem.  Shinny is going to help him work on it today.

I am getting closer to being ready for the shower on Sunday, I have some knitting to finish up. I have to decide on what to serve and finish that up.  I know what dessert I am serving but may make some appetizers and such. I am thinking that there will be some small children there so have to have thoughts on how to include them.  Yogie and Booboo and helping me give the shower so they are doing some coloring for decorations.  I know that sounds odd for a baby shower but I think inclusion of the littles is appropriate in this situation, Mokie is not a real social person so including the littles will be more her style anyway.  I hope it turns our nice and intimate sometimes little and cosy is nicer than bigger and boisterous.

Two of the little goats that had gotten stunted in the summer died yesterday.  They were bullied by a bigger goat last summer and had been trying their best to get back to healthy.  they had had their ups and downs but on the whole seemed to be on the mend.  Boy and Yogie came in last night and said they were dead, we didn't think they were serious and went to check and they were both almost gone.  They either had succombed to the cold or one of the older does accidentally hit them and killed them.  I guess that is why the strong survive and the weak are weeded out, we had tried to change nature and it didn't work in the long run.  They both probably should have been allowed to expire in July when they were sick originally. 

Drama Queen's beloved Molly, her boxer, died this week.  She wasn't very old and the Vet, who had her at the Vet hospital all week, said it was genetic.  She had a complete kidney failure that she just could not recover from. Drama Queen's oldest daughter, Kiddo. was devastated by the loss, she and her mom were the closets to Molly.  It was a hard week for them.  Life and death struggles never get any easier to understand in this life, especially when the deceased are such young animals..... tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

No energy this fall, I have bursts but over all tired alot... hope to find some got lots to do.

I just can't seem to find any energy this year, I don't know exactly why.  Last spring I was sick alot and finally kind of figured out that it was due to GERD and VCD, which was great to learn.  I had thought I had COPD or adult asthma, but can breath now and no more sore throat or lack of breath.  I still don't have alot of energy, maybe it is a hold over from being sick.  I am done whining now so, life goes on. 

Poppie and I made a full time feeder for the piglets on Sunday.  We knew we had to get one done but really didn't know what kind we were going to build. We were watering the piglets and I was standing by the old on demand pig waterer, that no longer works, when I asked Poppie if that would work for the feeder.  He said how do you mean? I said sort of along the lines of the chicken feeders that Son makes.  We discussed the possibilities back and forth and came up with a workable idea, for us that is how our best ideas are born.  We have learned through all the years that whether is be the kids, art or building projects our ideas together tend to better than our ideas alone, simpatico I think it is called.  We soon put our plan to work and built the feeder.  We adapted and discussed along the way and came up with a great feeder.  We installed it in the pen and the piglets checked it out.  I started to pack grain for it, we think it will hold around 75 gallons, and Poppie told me not to go through the goat pen but around.  I was stubborn, as it is shorter, and went through the goat pen.  I was attacked and assaulted on a level that even I did not expect, I finally had to leave the grain and retie Caesar, then rescue the grain from the does.  I must admit I was an idiot, Poppie did not come to my rescue, I think as an I told you so, and that made me mad.  He didn't have a drop of sympathy for my plight.  I eventually got the grain to the pig pen, and handed it off the Poppie,  The goats having had a taste of the grain showed interest in trying to break into the piglet pen the rest of the evening, they finally gave up, but lesson learned.  It is longer to pack it around and over the two sty's but not being molested by a herd of goats, priceless.

I have lots of house work to get done this week I am having a baby shower for Mokie on Sunday, it will be a little affair of close friends and family but it should be a nice little event.  She is getting excited now as the baby will be coming on the 2 of December, they finally confirmed a date.  Cubbie is beside herself with wanting the baby to come out and stay.  Boy is more quiet about it as the prospect of a new sister is nice but not as exciting as a brother would have been in his opinion.  I am thinking he isn't looking forward to another Cubbie, I think it would be funny if they get a girlie girl, it would drive Mokie to frustration as she would be such and alien creature in their lives,  Son has bought her a camo outfit, I really would love to see the culture shock they would have as a response to a little girl who couldn't stand being dirty, one can only hope... tomorrow.

Monday, November 14, 2011

A life well lived, not always a perfect life but then what fun would a perfect life be?

I often contemplate life, when I get the time, and I do get time now and again. I am a busy person in many respects and lazy as a slug in others.  I would say that is not all that unusual, we all have our passions that drive us and things that can just wait but as individual we get to pick and choose our paths down either. I can be one of the most driven people, and drive others to distractions, when I am on one of my missions. I call that my type A personality moments, I am also one of the most procrastinating people and wait until the pressure is on so I can get it all done in a whirl wind of accomplishment.  I don't do anything methodical or I suppose normally, if you love me you just shake your head and wonder how I get on in life.  I make decisions by weighing the good and the bad in all things, but I do it at such a rate that if you blinked you missed that I did that at all, so you end up thinking I do thinks on impulse, but I don't. I have a high IQ, that I actually use, but as I don't meet most peoples standards of smart, by looking at me, I am often looked at as unimpressive and maybe a bit of a dolt.  It is a mistake that most don't make twice once they have.  I can be shy in defending myself or approaching family or friends for help, or asking them to stop and spend time with me, but if I have the cause of of someone to defend, family, friend or anonymous victim, God help the victimizer as I will not stop coming until the situation is solved and the abuse is done. I am a Libra on the "charts', that some put so much stock in, and the would say I am a scale or a ying and yang person.  I don't know that there is much in that but God speaks to all in different ways so who knows, I do know I do like balance even if it is asymmetric, I do mediate well and balance is a part of who I am, or maybe I am just a split personality, same thing right?

I know people that worry about keeping up with the Jones, or having a perfect existence and it drives me crazy.  They don't do anything with out a plan, a budget or deep conversations to insure that it is the right thing to do.  I can say I have ever understood these people, I don't understand an all consuming need to have everything in its rightful place either so maybe I was not called to lead a perfect life by the Lord.  I think of myself as more of a tumbleweed that blew in the wind here and there and then got stuck on a branch over looking a cliff.  People that see it are worried about what could happen, and I am just excited that I am in one place, secluded enough that I get to see people but far enough away that they only come to see ya if they aren't afraid of the trip that tumbleweed would be on if it fell. I would never say I live a perfect life, probably not even a exciting or well off life but I would say I live a life well lived, I do the best I can in the moment and let the moments to come get answered for when they get here.  If I spent all my time planing tomorrow and it never comes I will have wasted my now, and ultimately the whole of my life.  God made me what I am, someone you shake your head at and wonder why?....... tomorrow.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Apples, Pumpkins, Pigs and Goats, our first snow of the season.

It had rained over night but we woke up to a skiff of snow, the sky looked like we would get more but none really came, flakes just flew around willy nilly.  We went out to do the chores and to our amazement Son was standing in his kitchen with a huge hole in the wall.  The window was gone and he was sawing away with his saws all.  Cubbie and Boy were wrapped in blankets and the woods stove was going in the back ground.  We could look all the way into their house from our porch.  He had been at it since 4 am, we were later told.  He had gotten a great deal on a window a customer, at the lumber yard he works at, returned.  The window is double paned and a much better window than the one they had and it will make their house warmer in the long run but the first day of snow was a shocking time to install it.  He had Poppie come over so they could dry set the window, it turned out to be so heavy the dry set was the final set.  It looks very nice all installed but I can still see all the way to their wood stove from my porch.  It really doesn't matter as we are the only ones that see that view of their house.  Son wants a curtain half was down, so they can still see out and have the sun some in.  He wants a little more privacy back.

The girls and I did the chores together, Booboo the turkeys, Yogie the chickens and the piglets, I did the goats and Lewie.  Lewie has been moved to the new goat pen, on her chain, she is so much milder now after spending time on it,  We let her off sometimes and she is acclimating well.  We have her in the fenced area where goats will be in the spring, we are hoping to let them in there where she is and get her used to having them running around in her pen and she will be our guardian for them.  Eventually we hope to let her off the chain as she get used to her duty.  I digress.  We were visiting the goats and decided to give the piglets some apples and pumpkins.  The goats attacked us for the apples and pumpkins so we cut pieces and gave them some as well, they were tickled with the fruit.  We let Caesar off his post to wonder around freely, we had him tied after breeding as he was a little aggressive, for him, so he is now back to his calm self, Mokie is still scared of him but that is her problem, as all of the little kids feed him fruit.  Curious had petted him a couple times this week while we were visiting goats.  He will now be able to get out of the weather at night with the other goats, the goat barns are open to them when they want to take cover. The little guy with the bent legs continues to improve daily. 

A lovely dark Sunday morning out there, the light has not started to peak out, so the day to come is still unknown.  We may go on a hunt later, but this morning we are going to make a new full time feeder for the piglets, I will only have to pack grain once a week instead of daily that way, all at once kind of thing, same amount of grain in the long run though.  A lovely Sunday morning coming down I suspect, enjoy yours as I will mine.... tomorrow.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Count your blessings... See what God has done.

I think as a rule we, Americans, tend to see November as a month of thanks giving that culminates on Thanks Giving.  I don't know that it is the same for peoples from other lands or if it is and it is just carried out at a different time of the year.  Really that is neither here nor there as long as thanks are given some time in our lives.  I know that we should thank God daily for our lives and the blessing he has given us, but for some reason deep fall just calls to me in a more profound way.  Maybe it is the crisp air and the promise of warm fires to shelter us from the winter to comes for me.  I have been cold in my life and maybe the physical warmth sings to my heart and makes me think of the spiritual and mental warmth of my blessings.

I love the song Count Your Blessings, I think it is one of the most warming songs a Christian can sing.  It reminds us, with intent, of all the blessings that God has sent to us, it even reminds us to count the blessing when we are in the midst of our trials, a blessing in itself.  God after all is the source of all our blessings and should be given credit for all the blessings in this life that he sends us. 

I am not sure where to start counting my blessings, I am called to start with Poppie but in reality I have to start with God or nothing else really counts.  We can't really love or care about anyone in a profound way if we don't feel the joy of God first in our lives.  It took me a great part of my adult life to understand that, I don't always get to the answer the shortest or the fast route on anything in my life so why would this be an different for me.  I as a new adult and newly married woman, would question God's place in my life and I would defiantly say, How could I love God more than Poppie or my kids, it's not possible.  It took maturity, atleast for me to understand that because of God I could love Poppie and my kids so intensely, God could not be second he had to me first in my life.  So I love Poppie and Myself second to God.  Loving yourself is also with out a doubt a blessing.  God teaches us how to love others by first loving ourselves.  Watch any small child and you will see them learning to love themselves above all others, learning to love others always comes second to loving themselves, part of God's plan.  People who don't learn that lesson lead such sad existences, I am sorry for them.  My children, one and all are the third most important blessings in my life.  All my children are different form one another, in so many ways, all are gifts to me from God and each one cherished in their own way because of their vastly different relationships with me. My family in general would be my next blessing and I am actually quite sure that most people would count their blessings similarly to this point, I would say that it was pretty universal and human to do so.  I would also say that this can not be trivialized just because it would be so similar in so many peoples lives, it would have to be one of the first and foremost blessing God gives to us and why so many of us get the same blessings. God is our father and he loves us the same way we love our children, each the same but vastly different in his individual relationship with each of his children.

My blessing from there are so much a part of who I am, and I am thinking who you are, counting them gives us our differences and our personalities as individual beings.  What we cherish defines us and what we share with others tells the world about us.  So today, this month and as a way of living a more balanced and rich live start counting your blessing, count them everyday, it will surprise you what the Lord has done in your life..... tomorrow.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Cubbie is three, was not much better than the terrible two so far..... empowerment will come with grace.

Cubbie turned three yesterday and she was having an off day.  She was exceptionally mouthy and spent a great deal of the day practicing her rude behavior on others.  She mocked her Nannie, sassed her Momma, picked at the other children and was generally naughty.  She also helped carry firewood and ran the handle on the firewood splitter for Nannie, so all in all she balanced out the day.  She did wiggle her little bum as she pressed the lever down, not sure if that made the work go better or if where was music playing in her head, as she just had to dance to.  She is well and truly three now, she is coming into her own and trying out her new power and voice I suppose, if only we can endure it without crushing her empowerment until she has a handle on it, we will be ok, I think.  Here's to little ladies with big voices that grow into big ladies with strong empowered voices.

I do so want my girls to all be empowered and I was not as good at helping the older girls get there as I am trying to be with my younger girls.  I failed my older girls at the time but I do try to make up for it now and help them be empowered as they can be.  I know that true empowerment comes from God and he does empower us with all the power he thinks we need in our lives. Booboo has always been comfortable with her empowerment, and general is not a bully with it, but she has her moments, like all of us do, and falls short of what God wants her to do with her power.  The bibles tell us that all fall short of righteousness and no one is perfect, trying is the important part after all.  Yogie has always struggled more with her empowerment, she is much more easily victimize but she does have moments where it peaks out and you can see that she has the ability for it to develop, God willing it will mature as she grows. 

Empowerment is what my TRO and OOP was about and the protection of my girls.  The woman that the OOP is on is spreading gossip around and trivializing the whole thing.  She is telling people that I got an order of protection for Dog Poop.  I am unaware that you can get a stalking Order of Protection for dog poop and anyone with a lick of common sense knows that.  I got the order of protection for two reasons, firstly the information I gave the judge on the long term systematic behavior of courtship like behavior and stalking of my girls that the woman had been perpetuating on my girls, specifically Yogie.  Secondly, the woman didn't show up for court on time for my hearing.  I do know that God would not have granted the OOP if the girls didn't need it to protect them.  It has been just over one week and the orders has been violated so that alone says they need the protection.  No, I am not frivolous enough and would never show such contempt of the system, I once worked for, as a dispatcher, state certified victims advocate or as a the past Executive director of the local Helpline to ask for an OOP for dog poop, but I did for stalking and the courting of a child.... tomorrow.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Buga to visit this morning, Poppie is sore and needs a rest, so maybe light yard work later.

No fire wooding this morning, change of plans.  Buga will come and visit with us this morning. Poppie got so much cold in his bones yesterday that he needs a good rest this morning.  Maybe we will get to do the last of the yard work this afternoon, snow coming this weekend.

I am hoping to get the baby knitting mostly done in the next few mornings. I am getting my upcycled teddies closer to being done and ready to be little person friends. I think they are too cute, some remind me of Raggedy Ann like beings. One is different colors and textures, a real textural experience for it;s future little person to be sure.

Sister sent me some nice wool last night, so now I have to decide to whether to make teddies or shorties, I am thinking the teddies will be more fun, but the shorties would be so practical.  I also could wear one of them it is so pretty, but I would only destroy a nice wool sweater doing chores, oh the choices we can make.

Speaking of choices, we had an incident happen yesterday that only makes me wonder again what could possible go on in some peoples minds.  I just have to say why is it that some adults never grow up and become adults.  Why would an "adult" really spend so much time stalking and harassing one little child that doesn't need the stress in her life.  Even, when told point blank by the Judge to be an adult and leave the child alone, the "adult" still acts like a mean spirit uncaring and unthinking bully.   I thought that as a rule parents disciplined that out of children by around third grade, oh, sorry forgot the victim is a third grader and she is more responsible so the older and more intelligent in this situation.  Here's to caring adults that want the best for children and not to victimize them, but with the current situation going on at Penn State maybe I can't hope or pray for that here either..... tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Winter snow in the mountains, warm woodstove in the house, the season of hibernation begins.

Belle is doing well after her surgery, the Lord be praised.  Little Mischief will be with her daddy today, he got to have time off to be at home with his family.  Blessing and Prayers for their family in this time of trial.

The mountains are getting a sugaring of snow on the tops in our little valley.  The days are still crisp and fall like but the threat of winter is ever more present in our lives. The days of Norman Rockwell scenes are upon us, soon all will be hibernating and in their dens.  The valley here is almost like a page out of a book a hundred years old.  I do know that a lot of people in our area take advantage of the winter sports, that Montana has to offer, but for the most part, the county and town I live in is very economically depressed and in general those sports are quite spendy, so only enjoyed by the few or as a great one time adventures for most of our population.  We do enjoy the older events like, sledding down the hill in the back yard or over the garden wall.  Ice fishing is enjoyed by some.  I know some who do cross country skiing or snow shoeing, as the initial cost is the biggest cost, and the equipment can be enjoyed for years in the woods and not at the ski hills.  The first snow, of snowman snow, will bring the little solitary soldiers to our yards, sometimes there will be couples that will melt away together.  Their scarves will mat, the carrot will wilt and the birds will eat at it for sustenance.  The paths to the goat pens, turkey, chicken and peacock coups and the pig sty will be trails cut into the snow to show the way to chores that need to be done daily to keep our little farm going.  Children's laughter will cut through the quiet of the days to come.  Nannie and Poppie will hibernate in the warmth of the house, as much as the little ones will let us, as we are getting older and our bones tell us it is cold out there. Our hibernation will be cut short as the kids, old and young, demand we enjoy their fun in the snow and cold of winter, and maybe the bones will forget the cold and just enjoy the time together.

Tomorrow we will go get a load of wood for an older couple that needs more wood before the snow is upon us.  Bug will be going with us and we will get a bit for him as well. We will steal a moment of time before the winter comes down and catches us in it's cold blustery magic.... tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Prayers for Belle this morning, Drama Queens dog needs some too.

This morning Belle has surgery and needs the prayers of one and all for a successful long term out come. She has struggled for 15 years with her reoccurring problems and I pray that the Lord blesses her with a long term solution to her health issues.  She has important things to do and needs good health to accomplish them.  She has kids to raise in the Lord and is there a more important task for any mother?  I pray she gets the out come she needs and God's will be done.

My sister Drama Queen's bulldog is very sick and is going through kidney failure at the vet's hospital I do pray her dog gets well, she is only a couple years old so has a long good life to look forward to. God, please, if it be your will let her recover.

Today is going to be another crisp cold morning, a little warmer than yesterday.  Poppie will be helping his friend get his rabbits all tucked in for winter.  His friend broke his finger about six weeks ago and it is not looking well yet.  Poppie is worried about his friend.  His friend has splinted it but it doesn't seem to be getting better and it is a color that concerns Poppie. Poppie will be gone most of the morning so I will have to do chores again by myself.  I will not have Boy and Cubbie to help this morning. Boy will be at pre-school and Cubbie will probably be home. It is a good work out for me in the mornings.

Tomorrow, Belle's Little Mischief is to come and spend the morning with me.  She is a darling little girl but her mind goes 90 miles an hour and she is always thinking about something to do with herself.  She is very bright but sometimes, to much so, for her own good. She has a walker but she is much quicker without it but is being encouraged to use the walker more as she gets older.  She has just turned 7 recently so is getting to be quite a young lady.  I am not sure if the kids will be here to play with her, or not, but if not she will have me to spend the morning with while her Momma is in the hospital.  She will be here while her older sister is at work. 

I wish a prayer filled day to all who need the blessings of God in their lives, I know we all do, but some days some need special blessing more than others...... tomorrow.

Monday, November 7, 2011

If you can't say something nice.....words carry so much power in our lives.

Your words have power use them wisely.  If you can't say something nice don't say nothing at all.  These two statements are very common in our lives.  We hear them, say them by rote, we copy and paste them, and we put them on our status but do we actually contemplate them or think about them.

When I was a little girl I was still the oldest child, and as such, I got to be Momma's helper early on in my life.  I was taught to help out with things from an early age, back then and now I am sure that is not unusual.  Third world countries don't survive any other way.  I was never allowed to hit or be truly in charge of my younger siblings and one day my grandma Gladys tried to help me learn to manage.  She sat me down and told me hitting was something I should never have to resort to.  She told me I should be able to get my meaning across with words.  I should be able to control my younger siblings with words as well.  I took her little talk to heart, I can't say that I always used my words with my younger siblings in the spirit she probably mean for me to; but I learned to use words from her encouragement all those years ago.

I would say that in my life I have been from one extreme to the other on how I have used my words.  I can cut you to pieces with my words and you probably won't even know it until you have gone home and thought about it.  I can say that there have been times in my life that I was proud of the ability but with age comes wisdom and I don't find pleasure in being cruelly with my words any more. I do find words a way to get a point across or make people think without anger or violence, not that I am a violent person and never really have been.  Words have such power that you should think before you speak and that means in the simplest moments as well as the most important moments. I have learned to walk away if I can't say something nice from the time I was little but to those who don't let me walk away you deserve the tongue lashing you might get, I am still working on that obviously.

I think that one of the most important places I use my words is with my children and my grand children.  I get to be the grandma now and I know what my words will mean to the grand kids someday, they will be as important to them as my Grandmas were to me. One example is to speak to my kids as I would like them to speak to me or to treat me, yes cleshay, but true.  I try to be honest with them at all times, I don't have to make the conversation adult just honest at their level.  I ask no more from them than I ask of myself.  If I yell, they get to, if I say bad words they should get to so I rarely do, if I expect too much or them then they should get to expect more from me..... I call my girls my ladies, always, I expect that from them and they hear it in the fact that that is what I call them.  People comment about their behavior, all the time, and say "how do you get them to act that way?" It is because that is how they were raised.  So many people think that they can teach their kids manner is the "great future time" but the reality it is an evolving process that should start and be part of everyday of a child's life.  I heard a woman recently say "doesn't she look like a hooker, or street walker" about her three year old.  Firstly I was appalled, and secondly, I looked down and saw a little tiny girl dressed in play clothes.  I never saw a hooker, a street walker or, as I have never heard another term that applies to either one of these descriptions, a whore.  I saw just a sweet little girl.  I am wondering what the girl will turn out like if that is the way her mother sees her?  Momma may get just what she asked for and I am guessing what she raised.  I have got to go get the ladies up to start their day.... tomorrow.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Basic living and simple time is returrning to our lives. God's will be done.

We feel a newness of simple returning to our lives. The stress is melting away and live is going forth with a stir of happiness and basic simplicity. The girls are settling into new routines that include the study of their Awana's books and a new desire to study the word of God.  I am in a new begin of happiness with the calm that is just seeming to settle upon us.  I am so glad that the Lord answers prays and gives us what we need in this life and for this little family it was the security of being left to live our lives undisturbed and alone as we see fit.  The joy of doing our chores, enjoying the loving company of each other, one of the most special blessing in our lives.  The privacy of a family living an unencumbered life.  The simple life for us is a true blessing above all else.

We got to go to Cubbie's third birthday party last night, she will actually be three on Thursday.  We had homemade lasagna, asparagus, garlic bread and a lovely Barbie Cake, purple dress of course.  She was tickled pink with all the gifts and fun.  It was just a little affair, which was a nice ending to a long stressful month here.  She got a new puppy on Thursday, when we went to Zootown,  a six week old lab puppy.  The puppy adores her and she is doing well with it,  it sleeps with her and still cries a little at night for it's momma, she takes it out potty and that to is going well.  It helps her stay in her bed and sleep alone in preparation for her new sisters arrival.  The puppies name is Dorie, like on Nemo.  Boy is jealous of the new puppy but is beginning to understand, and remember, that he has his own dog and we can't always just have new puppies, we have to love our old grown up puppies. 

We finished up the goat house wall yesterday, we had taken it down to clean out the birthing pen with the Kabota when we made manure piles into composting heaps. The new wall is nice, a recycled project but very functional and will be just what they need. We have to put straw in there today and maybe burn yard waste piles that we have been making from all the restructuring. I love the fall and that we are having a nice one, but the chill of winter is definitely in the air and soon coming to our little place. The piglets are all settled in, soon four will be going home to new homes, we are going to end up raising 6 to market size and one to adulthood, to be a new momma pig, so we will have two. The one that will probably end up being the new momma is Miss Charlotte, but encase she isn't we are keeping two alternate females if we need to make any last minute changes between market and breeder. A crisp morning with such promises to come, a blessing from the Lord to be sure and priceless in our lives..... tomorrow.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

The house my mother once lived in and built. Just a house, the home it was is still a loving part of the family, memories.

I overheard an uncaring gossip say the other day that the house my mother built, and lived in for 30 years, was foreclosed on, not actually the truth and the person was just spreading tales she knew nothing about. My parents decided about 5 years ago that they wanted to spend their remaining years somewhere where they were more comfortable raising their small children.  My mom and dad lived in Superior almost 30 years but it was never the home of their hearts,  they weren't exactly sure where it was, at the time, but Plains did call to their hearts.  They tried for over 2 and half years to sell their house but due to the economy and a trailer frame in the middle of their house they could not sell it.  They eventually got to a place where moving become more important to them than selling the house.  They spoke with God, and their children, then made the happy choice to move on,  they handed the keys back to the mortgage company and never looked back.  They are happy for the choice they made and this should have never been anyone else's business, especially a viscous gossips.

I have lived in 49 houses in my lifetime.  I learned along time ago that houses come and go but you only have one home.  Your home truly is where the heart is and my family, as messed up and dysfunctional as we can be have always had home in the right place, our hearts.  God has always provided for us and a house is just a house. That seems an odd thing to say but you would have had to have been raised in my family to truly understand that houses don't a home make.  I can not imaging that many of you can say that you lived in 49 houses in 50 years of living, now 51.  I had lived in 42 houses by the time I was 18 so have really come to a snails pace in the last 32 years by the previous years standard.

The house my mother built was just that, a house, it is a lovely house as far as houses go but it holds no particular draw to any of the family.  The memories it once held are no longer there they are in the hearts of one and all of us who shared the memories that were made there but the house itself is not the memories and hold no special draw for any of us.  I know that some people find that unbelievable but then most people don't understand my quirky odd big loving family so why would this be any different.  So to the woman, I won't call her a lady, as a lady doesn't run around gossiping to one and all of things they know nothing  of, that house is nothing special and not one of this family care what happens to it in the future, our past was there but it holds no appeal to this families future.... tomorrow.

Teacher conference went well, an afternoon with my ladies priceless.

I began the day yesterday going to teacher conferences.  Booboo went with me and had a great time.  She has the most wonderful teacher and we got to talk about Booboo's success at school. She is a leader in her class and she likes to help other students. She wants to be a teacher.  She is a wonderful reader but her accuracy makes her speed a little slower but she is still top of her class.  She adores her teacher and emulates her, I can see her Mrs. Cooper is her actions and philosophies some times, a great tribute to a teacher she will always adore and who has made a remarkable difference in her life.  I told her teacher just that and she cried and had to have a hug from Booboo.  She is a wonderful teacher and as a parent I have a responsibility to tell her that she has such a significant place in Booboo's life.  Teachers, the good ones, couldn't possibly do it for the money as they make less every year, they do it for the shear joy and love of the children.  We are bless to have her in Booboo's life.

Yogie didn't want to go, I think she was apprehensive, she has been stressed over the OOP and I think is showing a ray of peace that we got it.  Her grades were wonderful but a little off in reading in the last couple weeks.  She had gotten a refocus the first week of school and was so worried about it.  Her teacher who is a very nice woman, I hadn't meant her until yesterday,  told me she would was a wonderful student, very kind and a pleasure in the class.  I told her about the refocus worries and she said Yogie was one of the sweetest students in the class and the refocus was a fluke, so next quarter she should get to be in the front of the class as not having one.  Yogie had never had a refocus until this one and it weighed heavy on her heart.  I am sure she will never get another one. She is 100 percent in science, 97 percent in math and 99 percent in spelling and 91 in reading so she is doing as good as her sister.  Mrs. Cooper told me that if they keep it up they should be able to get alot of scholarships so that is good, I told her I really needed to get a handle on how to send them to college, she told me to work with the counselor when they got older as they were super students.  We talked about 4h as a good way for them to earn money for college.  I told her they were going to join next year when they could do it together, when Booboo turns 9.

Belle, is going to have to have surgery again,  she has had to have surgery every couple years for the last 15, it has been almost two now.  She is going have it this coming week, I pray that she has a better outcome this time and get a permanent solution to her problems. God's will, and plan, will be done in her life. 

The girls and I spent the day doing house work, watched kids for a couple hours and then studied their Awana's books.  They really love studying about the Lord.  They have moments when it is much more pressing that they learn and last night was one of those. We worked together for a couple hours then they put in the cd, that comes with their study book, and worked on it longer after I went to bed.  I can't say I have a problem if they stay up late learning about the Lord, priceless..... tomorrow.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Love thy Neighbor and the blessing of enemies. Both on my mind of late.

I, as you know, have been having issues with my neighbor since early September it has weighed heavy on my heart and I  have prayed long and hard about the problem.  I have had a vicious "church lady and a chaplain" spamming me about how evil I am not to love my neighbor.  The stress from the spammer was hard to get through but God sends us the blessing of trials and I got through it and am the better for the "thoughtful" messages. Not a stretch to guess who the messages were from and soon will have it verified, but either way I am no longer bothered by them, love the spam button and proving a violation priceless. But more importantly I struggled with my inability to love my personal neighbor, not a generic neighbor.  I don't hate my neighbors as that would imply that I care enough about them to hate them and I don't love them, I can't bring myself there either.  I feel indifference and I have always said that that is a bigger sin than hating as it means total lack or caring about someone, so I have prayed to God for guidance and he spoke to me in a couple of ways.  Firstly, he made me see that through my praying that I was to love my neighbor but I was also to love my enemy, in an epiphany, and in God's voice I heard this.  I asked myself, Love my enemy? 

God instructs us to love our enemies.  If God asks us to love our enemies he must have a place for them in our lives and we must be able to have them.  I have never truly had and enemy before so had not thought much about them in my life.  I am not saying that I haven't had issues with people but never to an extent that I would have thought of them as an enemy.  Having an enemy is new to me so I ask God to explain enemies to me, and why we were allowed to have them and love them.  I went to me new favorite Bible to study, the Internet.  I can push a button and get every versus in many translations so as to more easily understand the word of God.  I typed in the blessing of enemies and to my total shock a sermon from a young man came up. Coincidentally, the young man live is Zootown and accidental one of my sister in laws went to school with him.  I knew for sure in that moment the Lord was truly guiding me in my quest to understand enemies my second blessing.  I am including a link to the sight as it is a copyrighted sermon and I do honor copyright laws and don't want to be in trouble for the illegal act of copyright infringement.

The sermon is wonderful and just what I needed to alleviate the stress and my struggle with my faith in having an enemy.  I find now that having an enemy is a blessing.  I do alot of the things that Jeremy Meyers talks about in his sermon.  I am more careful with my loved ones, I find that I am following what the Lord asks me to do more.  I take care as I know I am being followed and watched for a mistake that I might make. I know that the lords asks me different things in response to an enemy but as having one is new to me it will take me awhile to fulfill all that steps of having an enemy but the Lord will give me the time to go through the steps but for now I am coming to terms with the Lords blessing of an enemy and that is a start on my journey..... tomorrow.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Zootown again today, loooong week, can't wait for it to be gone and normal.

Off first thing this morning to go to the Zoo, Mokie has to have her teeth relined and fitted.  We will be going early to get the grocery shopping out of the way first. Will still be a long day as her appointment is in the afternoon.  Poppie will have Boy, Curious, Cartoons and maybe Second.  He is actually needed the rest, if you can call watching little ones all week rest, probably not.  Cubbie is going with us she is excited to go. I think Poppie is looking forward to returning to helping his friend with projects tomorrow.

This week has been hard here, the stress in many ways has peaked for me but in many ways is just beginning especial for Sister and Mokie's families.  I told them that the no contact orders they got from the judge are just as good as the OOP in their own rights.  They are still enforceable and they have a degree of safety they just have to be diligent.  I do so hate passive aggressive people that lie with such innocents, but God is watching and he gets the last say.  God sends us trials in our lives as I have said before, so we just have to look to God for the blessing in the trials we are enduring and for new ones to come.  God does nothing with out a purpose and we know not what his purpose always is.  We are just called to thank the Lord for his blessing and sometimes blessing come in the form of trials, I have to believe God is working for our good we just have to be patient to see the end results. Thank the Lord for all the things he sends us, all are gifts.

I have teachers conferences tomorrow and then my week of having to be somewhere every morning will be done,  I do so find weeks like this so tiring.  I quit work for just that reason, I hate having to be somewhere and scheduled all the time, well that and the longing and wanting to raise the two most beautiful little girls in the world. My other two girls are beautiful too but they are adults, can't compare apples and oranges can you?......tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Long day in court, Yogie has to have an emergency visit to the dentist.

Long day in court and the Order of Protection was granted for the next year. That is a blessing from the Lord. The girls need the protection and need to feel they are safe in their own home again. I am to document violations and if I have to report I will get help.  In court they brought copies of my blog so they proved that they were violating by just having stolen copyrighted information they weren't to have. I am going to have a computer expert friend take a look at the comments I believe are from them to prove they are still violating other than that I just want to be left alone so hopefully they will obey the ruling and leave us alone.  The protection order is for a year which will be nice. 

Mokie's teeth are beautiful, she had to go get a reline today and Yogie went with her, one of her wires are rubbing and scratching so she has a sore swollen spot. She is in a lot of pain the nurse and I both had to give her something for pain. Nice fall day here so going to enjoy it withe Cartoons, Cubbie and Boy.  I am tired and worn out so this is short and sweet.... tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Dentists and orthodontists today, Zootown trip, exhaustion here I come.

Yogie has an orthodontist appointment first thing this morning, and it would be so lovely to go and come right home but no, today is the day Mokie gets her dentures.  We have to pick them up at noonish and take them to the dentist that is pulling her last top teeth.  Yogie and I will be reading the "little house in the big Woods" while we wait in the waiting room for her to be done.  We don't think we will be done in time to pick up the kids so Son will probably have to pick up the kids from school.  Poppie will have the four little kids, Curious, Cubbie, Boy and Trina, so no picking up kids for him, the car seats wouldn't all fit in the car with the kids to be picked up.  A complicated day, almost like a dance or a waltz.  I should put on my ballet slippers just to check in or get up I think.

Poppie is still a bit under the weather so needs more in the house down time, watching the little kids will make him slow up a bit and rest, a little.  Over the weekend the Poppie's pathfinder was damage,  it was at Bug's house and he was timing it and changing the heads.  A boy/young adult that had a grudge against Bug threw a large rock into the windshield and shattered it.  Poppie and Bug had to make a police report and they advised the officer of who they suspected had done the damage.  The officer did a good job and had a talk with the young man, he admitted he had thrown the large rock.  He was charged with criminal mischief.  The judge sentenced him and included restitution in the sentencing.  Poppie had to get estimates for the damage, it was around three hundred to have the window replace and installed.  Poppie is glad that the incident was resolved without us losing the windshield and having to replace it ourselves.  The officer did a good job.

The kids had a great  time trick or treating. they, including Cubbie, all walked about around 12 blocks total. Mokie and I walked with them and got to say hi to alot of friends.  They were all tired but Cubbie was worn out.  They had a great time, witches, ghosts, a vampire joined us, and little Cubbie was Scoobey Doo.  They got more candy than any little kids would need and thank goodness my girls usually only eat a little before they lose interest put it in a bowl and eventually Poppie eats what is left.  Poppie is a night time snacker, the girls and I aren't, so we just shake our heads and let him snack.  Coffee to enjoy before I get ready for the long day....... tomorrow.