Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do and do well, forgetting is another matter.

I have been working on forgiveness for sometime in my life and just when I think I have started to get it right I have to contemplate it all over again.  Oh, to have the forgiveness of God.  You know when he forgives he forgets.  He does not see the sins that we once did because God does not allow any thing connected with sin to inter into heaven and even the memory of a sin would be a sin.  Oh to have that kind of soul.

I find that being an artist I am the most hard on myself whether it is a line in a drawing that I don't like or a knitted stitch that isn't what it should be.  I am always hardest on myself.  I think that that might be something that is human nature, or maybe not, I don't really know.  I do know that forgiving myself it by far the hardest thing I will ever do.  I have learned to forgive people in general.  I have learned how to forgive people that don't asked for it, and maybe don't deserve it, but for my soul I have learned to forgive them long before they think I would.  I have learned to practice not being offended because it really is a choice you can either be offended or you aren't.  If you are, forgive, even if you were offended for just an instant forgive and get one with your life.  It gets rid of a lot of unwanted baggage.  I practice this kind of forgiveness daily and it has made me a happier person.  I struggle with the forgetting sometime.  I am not sure I am ever good at the forgetting, unfortunately. I know that God forgets, as does Jesus, so I should but I am of the flesh and continue to remember things I should have long ago tossed into the depths of the sea.  I find that as far as remembering I am hardest on myself and maybe my mom.  She is after all the second oldest relationship I have or maybe technically the third.  I would say God would be the first as he had to of thought of me and then he created me.  Then we are, or I was and maybe knew it in the womb, but I don't know, but for sure the next is our mom's.   She after all carries us to birth and is our first knowledge of not self we experience.  I think there is always something special between a child and it's mother that even a father never knows.

I think the bond can be cut, but never forgotten as you were once a part of your mother and somewhere down deep inside you never forget that in your soul.  I think a mother sorrows for that loss on levels that are truly unexplainable.  A mother feels the loss much like I would imagine how it must feel when a spouse dies and their your flesh's oneness is ripped asunder.  Do you ever think of the physical pain that must cause to the one who still lives in this world, it is so unimagined that you don't think of it when you try and comfort the half of the flesh that must go on alone.  I am not sure a mother and child are exactly the same but somewhere close they must be for at least those nine months.  I know a marriage of one flesh is a life time but I have digressed.....  Let's just say mothers have a bond that is like no other we know outside of the two as one flesh.

I, as a mother, look back on my life and some of the forgiveness I can't seem to quite give myself is the things I have done, or I perceive to have done to my child, as we have lived our lives.  Does anyone ever condemn your raising of your child as much as you do?  Well maybe the child your raised does?  I think that a mothers forgiveness of herself is a life long goal to accomplish and maybe the forgiveness of ones mothers is also a live long journey.  I know that forgiving your mother or being forgiving by your child are forgiveness's that  are rarely forgotten because of the nature of the beast.  You are who your are because of your childhood, then your choices in life. Really, think about it, if your mother had not raised you the way you were raised would you even be the you you are today?  Your adulthood can be spent in total unforgiveness, working to forget or over come or building on the child she helped create..... imagine that and there is the crux of it all.  To forgive and forget is truly divine and all we can hope to be is only the shadow of Jesus, as none of us will ever obtain his perfection, so we work on to the best we can be and in the end we are just all that we could attain....... I pray you obtain all that Jesus has to offer ....tomorrow.

Four day left of the year..... what is the raught of the year past?

Sometimes I get very introspective at this time of year. The gifts are all opened or given and the climax of many a months of planning is in a heap of torn papers, ribbons and tape.  I see the smiles on the faces of the child who got just what they wanted and the child with the look of what could have been.  I have in my long days as a mother seem both more than once.  I have seen the look of one more times than not on one of my children and never seen naught but the one on the other.  I have known the look of what could have been more than once and now know that it comes from inside and not from something given but how do you tell a child that can't quite obtain it's dream that it's dream is only obtainable if their soul is happy and things can't make it so.

 I have spent some year making afghan's and some year watching the mind numbing tube this week of the year.  This year we spent some time in front of the tube but because of choices we made this year it is only quality type TV allowed in our home.  We have cut out channels, we have cut out styles of shows and we have cut out genres of shows.  We no longer are the victims of what is put in front of us but the master of what we watch and we choice it to be positive or we don't want or need to see it, as we can not unsee things we don't want to see and we can make an educated choice to be positive in our TV viewing.  I must admit that many a program no longer allowed for our viewing was once must see in this house but it is no longer something we need and certainly don't want.  It is a choice and we get to make it.

We have spent time playing games and for the most part that is a high priority in our home.  We can choose to play games as a way to teach our children to interact in a positive way.  The way a child plays a game can tell you some much about their morals and where their life barometer is heading or the path they are choosing to make. You can help your child make good choices in a game, there they have no feeling that you are leading their moral path, in a way that telling them in a serious conversation they will tune you out and not listen because they don't want you helping them make their choices in their life.  They don't see the game board as being connected with their life paths but it is some much so.  They make the good and bad choices in a game that they will later emulate in their lives.  Making the changes when it is not a confrontational thing but is just a game where they are still willing be guided so much easier.

I have learned a lot this year about myself, my spouse, my kids and just life.  I used to say if it doesn't matter in five years it doesn't matter now.  I now think it if isn't something that will matter on our path to eternity it certainly doesn't matter now.  Do you think in terms of eternity?  I do.  We all should.  Life here has it ups and downs and we learn so much on our pathways of this life, but unless it is something that matters in eternity we aren't going to take it with us.  What are the things what will matter?  Do you know?  Do you ever contemplate them?  I know that my salvation is far and above the most important thing that I will ever contemplate in my life.  It is the most important thing in this life and all else rolls down hill from there.  My faith then is first.  What is next?  What is the second most important thing in this life?  I assure you it is family.  Your spouse, you children, your siblings, your parents?  How do you treat them?  Do you treat them better than the postman?  The clerk at the store?  Your friends?  Are you mean to them and don't care it's just your family?  It's not some one of importance that you have to put on an act for after all?  If you are not treating your spouse and kids second to God then you are really missing the boat and not working on your eternity.  The ones you love are thee most special people God ever gave to you and nobody, I mean nobody, is as important in your life as they are.  Next time you see your child hug them because if you don't they just might walk away and never look back.  You are the one person that should love them above all else but maybe their spouses and God.  What about your neighbor?  Do you love your neighbors?  Who are your neighbors?  Do you even know?  If not you should.  In the old testament God gives us 10 commandments.  In the new he narrows it down to 2, basically the 10 split into half.  The fist few commandments of the 10 are all about how we are to treat God and the last are how we should treat our fellow man, our spouses, our kids and our neighbors, so the 10 are the 2 and are not any different really.  We are not to lie to, cheat, murder, or steal from, or covet or be jealous of your fellow man and that is how we are to treat our neighbors in this life, Our family, our friends and our enemies, they are our neighbors....... The Law became Grace,  and by the Grace of God, Jesus walked upon this earth.  Jesus is the door, the Grace of God incarnate, through him we can have eternal life and without him we are but lost to the fires of hell.  Do you contemplate your eternity..... you should...... tomorrow.

The weekend before Christmas is supposed to be a busy weekend..... isn't it?

Saturday I had our third annual decorating cookie tea, well it was the third but I actually suspended it the last two year.  It had gotten so big, and I mean big because the second year I did it there were 11 children under 8 and that was hard to accomplish.  This year there were only 6 kids that varied between 2 and 12.  We decorated cookie in leu of the gingerbread houses.  The houses were beautiful I must admit but they had to be baked, put together and dried before the kids could decorate them and I just simply did not have the time to accomplish that this year.  The kids got to decorate sugar cookies and ginger snaps.  Their techniques were as varied as the kids there.  Some were artistic (Booboo) some simple (Bubbles) some just normal (Yogie, Cubbie and Belle's Princess)  and then there was Belle's Soul Winner he put as much frosting as possible on each cookie he made and decided no part of a cookie would be complete with out candy on it.  I am glad Belle took all of his home, it would have been a 3 alarms sugar rush to eat any one of his cookie.  All had fun and took home cookies and what more could one ask from a Tea and Cookie decorating any way.  Belle and I had a good time talking as, they are old enough, and generally well mannered enough, that the kids could do their own thing.  Boy did not come he built a wooden plow with his dad as they snuck the time away from the two littles to claim it as boy time.

Lady gave me the most wonderful gift on Saturday, she bought me a 1936 Sears and Roebuck, Kook-Kwick pressure cooker.  It is so cute and in beautiful shape.  It was the same one I had seen last summer in the Secret Second YWCA thrifty store.  I was so surprised to have it. I love it.  It now has a place of honor on my "garbage" pot and pan shelf.  It joins my two 1931 nationals and my 1960's all american pressure canner collection.  It could probably be used as a pressure canner but I don't think I will ever use it that way.  I may just cook a corned beef in it though.  It is the only one I have that had an outside mechanism to to keep the lid on.  Did I say that I love it.  Here it is in all it's glory on the "garbage" pot wrack and alone...

Sunday we had a nice Potluck at Church.  The Ladies got to give the ladies of the Church all the scarves they had crocheted since Thanks Giving.  The Ladies loved them and we had a nice potluck.  All share in the Love of the season, the Preacher gave a nice Christmas message.  One of the lost sheep in our congregation made his way back to fellowship with us, it was nice to have him back and see him worshiping the Lord again. 

The Ladies spent the night with their G-Pa, G-Ma, Matt, Kathy, Only and Eighth.  I hope they had a good time.  I do think it is good that they have a relationship with their biologic dad and his family. It is nice that they got to spend some time together.  I wished the Goofy would get her act together so they could do that with her but at this time it is not a possibility, maybe some day. I do miss all of my other grandkids especially this time of the year but circumstances are not in the right place for that either.  I do know that I love the ones I can at the moments I have to love and spend time with them.  I also am available to do that at anytime and not by my choice do they not get to come here.  Their mothers have made all the choices to not allow them time with their grands.  I do hope it is a choice they can live with as older adults, from experience I know that some of the choices in youth haunt us the rest of our lives and you can't fix it when you finally get the wisdom to know it was a mistake.  I await their return to my life even if it is as adults, they are loved if only from afar and in stolen moments....... 

I pray that you are in the Lords arms and know you have salvation.  If not you can seek his arms any time it is your choice to accept what it freely give.  I pray for all of my kids that have, and don't have salvation, salvation is so much more important than just reconciling with a parent it is the most important gift ever given and the most import choice ever made.  Accept your most important gift today, the joy is unaccountable and soul changing, life changing and a regeneration of you, how can you not??...... tomorrow. 

Decisions, decisions, decisions...... What is more pressing to talk about....??

I find myself at the confluence of two thoughts.  I am not sure which is more pressing on my little brain.  I had thought that I would talk about knitting this morning but then I do so want to talk about the Phil Robertson controversy, decisions, decisions.  Okay so I am a yapper by nature so I am going to try to tackle both in the little time I am allotted.  I think that since Phil Robertson's controversy is a matter that is dear to my faith I will begin there.

I read what Phil had said about homosexuals when it came out and had to say I agreed one hundred percent with his evaluation, he said it just like the Bible says it.  He did not say that he hated homosexuals or that they should be hated he just said that what they do is a sin and sin it is.  I find it ironic that people can see the sins in others, if you disagree with them, but if it is against the Bible teachings it is alright to bash him.  The Bible clearly states the homosexuality is a sin, as in lying, prostitution, murder, cheating, gossip and etc.....  Liberals can say anything they want but per the Bible all are sins.  It does say to love our neighbors, Phil did not hate his neighbor in anything he said.  He is a man of integrity and said it like it is.  He still loves his neighbor but he does not condone his sins.  Jesus gave us the example of the prostitute that was to be stoned.  He said he without sin cast the first stone.  So no one has the right to kill some one for their sins, Phil was not trying to kill any one, Jesus also said for the woman to go and sin no more.  He did not tell her to go and continue in her prostitution sinning as she went.  Homosexuals are love by God, it took me along time and a lot of studying to get that far in my development to being Christ like.  Jesus can forgive any sin, but he does not say go and sin away in your depravity of sexuality he forgives but does not say continue in it as you go.  So the homosexual can be forgiven but like all of us should not sin any more.  Phil was crude in his delivery but he was stating the Gospel truth.  I like a man who stands up for his beliefs.  Liberal tell us every day that we should have the freedom of speech, so why is that only if you are the homosexual, the muslim, the tree hugger or the what ever that is their "it girl" for the day.  Why is it that Christians don't get the same right of free speech they allow any and everyone else.  A few months ago a man convicted of bestiality in Florida was being supported by the Liberals but the Crosses of America are systematically being torn down because Christian don't have the right to freedom of speech.  I pray for all the Liberals, and all the lost in America, because they are going to have a sad reckoning in death.  I will proudly shake Phil Robertson's hand in the here after.  Funny I read on one of my "liberal" friends pages where she and her brother think all of this is about money, I can assure you Phil Robertson did not do any of this for money, he did it for faith and faith is something my liberal friend and her brother know nothing about. I am so sorry for her loss.    I am also sorry for any and all of you that think this is what Phil was talking about.  YOU just don't get it.

Okay, this is a really hard turn but I am off my soap box, climbed down and on to knitting....  I think the first time I even knew what knitting was about I was about 5, my mom was knitting away.  She was making us all Mary Maxim sweater, probably for Christmas.  She made me a poodle sweat, Silver and Red chief sweaters, and Sister got a kitty.  She was also making one for dad, but as my mom tends to knit loose and big, she never checks gauges, the sweater came out way to big for my dad.  It was wool so she decided to shrink it down to size, well she did not know about mercerized wool, and even when she boiled it it did not shrink.  She finally gave it to the neighbor who was 6'6" tall, my dad is 5'8".  So from early in life I knew knitting had it's idiosyncrasies. My first attempt at knitting was done on 20 penny nail, mom and dad were building a house so we had lots of them around and they looked like needles to me.  I am not sure my mom thought I was serious about knitting or she might have let me use needles.  My second attempt at knitting came in my 5th grade year.  I started knitting little squares, I was going to make a blanket for Drama's birth.  I never finished it but mom did take all the squares I made and mixed them with ones my brother made and did make them into a blanket that she backed.  I think I really became interested in knitting when I decided to make Poppie a sweater.  I sent him to the store to buy "neutral" yarn to make him an Irish fisherman's sweater, so he came home with candy apple red.  Okay, it was his choice and he had the only Irish fisherman sweater I ever saw quite that color.  It took me the better part of a year to knit it.  His underarm measurement was 26 inches and the length to the waist much longer.  He had it for probably twenty year before he wore it out and it was not wool so that is saying something especially considering Poppie is hard on clothes.  I learned to continental knit when Mokie was about three it hurt my left hand tremendously the first week I learned.  I went from knitting one or two sweaters a year to making 22 from October to January, it was the biggest blessing I ever got in knitting.  I have since tried to teach any and all who wanted to learn how to to do it.  I have along the way taken to any new techniques like a duck to water, long tailing, toe-up socks and Julie's magic cast on.  I was amazed this week to accidentally come on arm knitting.  I found a young girl, who didn't know how to knit, she didn't know any of the terms she was trying to explain in real terms.  She had made two scarves and being an expert was sharing on Youtube.  It took her an hour to make the scarf she was showing us how to make, I know knitting and was able to accomplish in 20 minutes what she struggled to show us in that hour.  I am thinking next time it will go quicker.  I can't wait to share with some one, maybe Yogie, how to arm knit.  Knitting is a passion I have, and have always had, and love to share..... I love to share it with all my co-CAKLers.  Maybe they will want to arm knit too.  I am thinking Lady may just want to learn this one.

I pray for you.  I pray that you have faith in God, I pray that you are able to stand up for it like Phil did.  I pray that if you don't have faith maybe his standing up for his will peak your interest.  I pray if not that something peaks your interest because by far and above the most important thing you will ever do in this life is decided by what your relationship with Christ Jesus is.  If you are his you will live, if not you are already dead spiritually and you will not live in heaven after dead, you are already condemned to the fires of hell... Please seek Christ today... tomorrow.

Christmas shopping with the Ladies......... horrible littles, some times an hour is way to much Nannie time.

The Ladies and I were up and on the road to the Zoo by 7:30 this morning.  We had not all that much money but we decided to make the most of it.  The Ladies each had only about 30 dollars. We made our first stop the Goodwill store.  They also made note of what tag was the half price tags.   The Ladies went to shopping.  Their goal was to buy each of their three cousins next door and their two biological half sibs each an article of clothing, a nice one that each would like, or maybe in Eighths case his mommas (he is after all only two months old) The Ladies definitely have opinions on what they wanted to buy.  They found a piece of clothes for each and everyone on their list.  They only spent half of their money, a little difference for each of them.  They did not let that inhibit them, they determine how much each had and evened it up.  I had to tell them at that point I thought that was a very loving thing to do, they were sharing and sharing alike just because they loved each other and wanted each to have the same opportunity to buy something.  We went to Costco next and I got the groceries I needed, well the ones I wasn't planning on getting at Walmart. We then went to China Buffet to eat, they both wanted to go as we hadn't gone for awhile, and so instead of a guicky at Costco we got Chinese.  The man that gives all the littles candy, and has for as long as I have been going to China Buffet, gave them rootbeer barrels.  They really didn't remember him giving them candy before but I explained that he had for always and they thought that that was so kind.  We wished him a Merry Christmas as he left the buffet.

We made are way to Walmart the Ladies got to shop all by themselves and meet me at the front.  It was rather daunting for me especially when time dragged on but eventually they came, maybe sooner than my mothers mind thought it was and toward the end I was thinking I had made a mistake and someone had taken them but just in the nick of time the first one came into sit.  They both used the self check out with total efficiency.  One twice and the other three times, they had to go back for more once they determined they had more to spend.  I hate to use the self check out so I used the line myself......  I guess it's a generational thing maybe.  We had a great day and were back around 2:30 ish.  Shortly after returning home Mokie and her little girls came over, she had to leave and go pick up Boy and Flower from school.  She told me that the kids at pre-school liked the gingerbread men soap but there were only three kids there to give them to.  She had taken nine.  She had to go out to her car and when she returned they were all gone so some one must have liked them.

She was off to the school a little after 3.  The two little screamed the whole time, they don't like when mom is gone on mom's home days.  I tried to get them to stop and eventually had success with the baby but Cubbie was just horrible.  I let her scream the whole hour and told her mom not to bring her back anytime soon.  I told her to take her home and hug all the naughty out of her because apparently she had not been hugged thoroughly enough lately.  They left soon after.  The girls had been wrapping their gifts and wouldn't allow the littles in their room so that probably was the reason in the end for all the screaming but sometimes they just have to have things not their way.  Today was one of those, I am not sure my nerves can take it again but needless to say it will probably happen again, you know those naughty tantrums that plague all parents every once in a while.  Sometimes the only thing you can do is ignore them or you would kill them, today was an ignore them day thank God, I just didn't have the energy to redirect their attention.

My Ladies learned today the joy of giving in a new way.  This is the first year they truly do not believe in Santa.  We had talked about the spirit of giving being a gift from God, as was Jesus, and that that is the spirit we should have at Christmas.  Santa in his own way embodies that, I know to some of you I am being sacrilegious but isn't that how his spirit is?  He knows when you have been naughty of nice, as does Jesus, he gives love and many other things, as does Jesus, so I choose to see him as a being of God in his essence instead of putting an ugly demonic spin on Santa.  I am a half full person.  I don't think the my child's innocent and belief in Santa is teaching them evil, it is teaching them the spirit of love and giving and isn't that what Christ is?  I hope you have Christ in your life.  I pray that if you don't today is the day you seek him. ..... tomorrow.

I got a sub job..... Sponifying (soap making) with a five year old,so I am an adventurer, sort of like base jumping, isn't it??

I accidentally heard the Library was looking for a sub last month, funny Lady hadn't even thought I would be interested so never thought to tell me.  I really haven't looked for a job in the last 8 and half year, well one outside of the home.  I will always be in the process of setting up a new endeavor of some kind, I have had several small business along the way.  I am currently, even as we speak, thinking on how to get a grant for a business start up, but that is another tale.  I liked that the sub job was currently not a weekly commitment and is going to be spurattic but might eventually be more time, I trust God to know what will be right for me when it is the right time for me. I went in yesterday for training.  I was only there for a couple hours, it was really nice being out in the public and seeing people.  I think I will like the job.  I have done a lot of things and it sort of seemed like home, I think a good fit.  I came home after the training, fed Poppie and Bubbles then back to the Library for a couple hours of CAKLs with all my dear friends.  It was a great day of visiting and getting caught up. It was nice of Poppie to spend the day with Bubbles so I could get away.  He did have a little issue with her and her pottie training, she likes to go in her pants just to mess with him.  He was not happy.  Well she did just turn two last week so she is still early.

Mokie asked me two days ago to help Cubbie make gingerbread soap men, like I did last year.  It would have been nice had she asked me last week because I did make them more than the day before she needed them last time.  I couldn't do them yesterday so this morning was the day.  I made them the same as the red soap I made last week,  I will still never understand how you can mix clear fragrance and creamy soap and come up with red soap, I never use colorants so it is nice to be able to have the red.  I guess the red will just always be cinnamon apple.  I am hoping to only make about 5 or 10 fragrances from here on out.  I actually have to sort through the soap closet and french mill a lot of it. It is all nice and dry so will make nice rebatched, or french milled, for selling this summer.  I have a lot of nice plain oatmeal goat milk and a few other nice bars I will keep the way they are but I have digressed.  Cubbie was excited to help me this morning.  She got to help a little with the oil weighing and the milk weighing but not the lye.  She especially likes the cinnamon apple smell and is very proud of getting to share with her little friends.  I ended up being out of propane so she got to help with the microwave to melt the oils.  I traced it in the blender to a nice trace, creamy yellow,  then added the scent. It was just starting to turn pink as we were pouring it into the molds.  I ended up with gingerbread boys and girls, snowflakes, shells, frogs, turtles, a dolphin, and the bottom of a measuring cup with the last little bit.  I covered it with plastic and a towel so it would sponify. We shall see how they come out.

I pray for your faith in Jesus.  I pray that you would have a relationship with him, I am not going to pray for your religion or even your Christianity because all of that is works and can come as you grow, or not, I just pray that you accept Jesus into your heart and life.  He is the one door to salvation, he is the only part that matters all else is secondary.  I pray daily for all that I know to seek the salvation that is Christ Jesus.  If you don't know what I am talking about that is fine, just find a Bible and read the gospel( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) of the new testament.  They give you the story of Christ Jesus.  Yes, you know the one that Christmas is celebrated in memory of.  He is the only one that ever died for you, your sins and more importantly he is the only one that ever died and rose again that you might have life everlasting, God said believe on him and you will have eternal life, John 3:16...... tomorrow.

Sledding and the tree is at least on the porch......I made me cry to hear the wonder of it.

We got to go get the tree right after Church yesterday.  We actually had a lot of fun even though the snow was wet and not slickery enough for the sled to go on it's own.  We went out to one of our favorite roads in the woods.  We slowly drove up the rode looking here and looking there for just the right tree.  I like either alpine fir or spruce but mostly I like the alpine firs.  We saw lots of Douglas fir and a few scraggly alpine, a spruce here and a tree there.  We stopped to gaze here and there.  One had a bare side another had a hole and this or that was wrong then there on the corner she stood.  She was very tall but had a less than 4 inch trunk so she was perfect.  Poppie cut her down and she fell to the road.  He cut her roughly in half.  Poppie said she will have to go into the car, I said isn't that wire there.  He said I can wire her on top.  The Ladies had been pulling each other up the road and decided I could pull them both like in years past, well not so much I could not pull them both.  The snow was sticky and they are just to big now.  I and the girls walked up the road playing in the snow as Poppie secured the tree to the top.  We came to a little road that had been Kelly humped and put to bed by the forest service.  The girls took turns sliding down it as Poppie threw snow at them.  It was not long until they were bored with the little hill. Poppie said they could slide down the road but even in the slick ice tracks their sleds would not slide.  Poppie decided to wire their sled to the back of the car and pull them down the road.  He made it long enough so that we could see them behind us t all times.  The snow was so sticky that the slide wouldn't slide forward into the car.  We pulled them about 3 and half miles.  They laughed and threw snow at one another, making a snow chair on the sled as we pulled them about 3 miles an hours down the rode, I could have walked along beside them.  They at one point fell out and lost their snow pile from in side the sled.  They got back in and totally enjoyed their day of sledding.  Yogie finally had enough and got in the car but Booboo stayed the course to the end and made it all the way to the end of the road.  Best tree getting ever, but then isn't each and ever one in their own way?

I went out to Flower Childs and had a good visit to end my day, I got home and the tree was still on the porch, Poppie said it had to melt off for the night before it could go in the house, so tonight we put her up and decorate her.  More fun to come.

This is the time of the year that most people, and some that don't believe think for a moment on Christ even if it is only to say that he should not be in Christmas.... don't they say that any publicity is good publicity.  I think some times that is so even with Christ.  I hope that that seed may grow.  I wanted to share something I watched this morning that brought me to tears...... A surprise it might be to some, but remember Christ works in mysterious ways sometimes...
 http://conservativepost.com/the-dark-side-of-duck-dynasty-is-not-what-you-expected/
May the Lord bless you and keep you...tomorrow.

Seeding, watering and harvesting...... We live in the age of me, my will and me first....

I read that the definition of sin was doing your own will and not the will of God for you for your life.  I had never heard it put quite that way.  I have lived my life in the shadow of the bigger part of the Baby boomer generation.  I am in the 16th year of an 18 year generation.  I am not quite sure why other generations are 15 years long and the Baby boomers are 18 years long??  I was not  a hippy or really a part of the hippy generation as most Baby boomers are.  I am almost 10 years to young.  I do know that the Baby boomer generation is a wide spread and varying generation but the harsh reality is that we are the children of the Greatest Generation, a God loving and God fearing generation.  The sad part is that unlike our parents we are the generation of My Will, Me first and the others be damned, we are the outspoken generation that has cared more about our own will and not anything really about God.  The hippies (you know the older half of the boomers) celebrated free love, burned their bras and said not your way man but my way all the way.  We gave birth to the entitled generations that are following after us, not any generation since our birth even cares or pretends, as a group, to care for God's will or following God like the generations that came before.  I am sadly part of the news type of generations, you know the ones trying to out do the one before them to be the worst generations.

I was raised by strict parents and have always been trying to do God's will but daily, momently and everyday have failed to live my life in God's will.  I would say that I have always thought that my testimony of salvation should be about my salvation and my baptism experience but like so many children, raised in a Church, I had never done anything in my childhood that made salvation a magnificent story of redemption so I wasn't ashamed of my salvation story but thought it wasn't compelling enough to be of use to lead some one to salvation.  I never thought of my salvation story as not being when I was saved but the salvation the God has given me even though I have now experienced terrible lows, terrible sinful times and years.  I have fallen so short of God's will for me sometimes as an adult that I would sometimes be a true morsel of glory for satan.  I had never really thought that my salvation story isn't when I was saved as a teen but all the times that God has picked me up and put me back on the path of his will.  God loves me not because of anything I have ever done, God loves me because he loves all of mankind and does not want that any human being would be lost to the devil.  He loved me, Nannie, he loved Nannie so much that he gave his only begotten son that if Nannie believed on him that Nannie should not perish but Nannie shall have everlasting life.  Doesn't that just make you cry??  Me, horrible sinful me who is not worthy of any of God's love, Me, God sent Jesus to die on a tree for me.  Jesus had to look into the cup of sin, knowing that he had never sinned, he had never not one time never had he not obeyed God's will for him.  He had to look into the sins that I and the whole world had committed and become guilty of all of our sins.  He took on our sins and died for them.  I killed the savior and for me he died.  Yes, each of us can say that. My sin killed him.  He died that I might live.  I do after all have a salvation story that I can share, and I just shared mine with you.

I have been studying about how to witness to people.  My testimony of salvation should be a part of that.  The gospel of Christ Jesus must be a part of that.  When I am in my circle of friends, acquaintances and people I meet, I am there because God put me in that moment to be his witness.  I don't have to go to school, or class to know how to tell my story of Jesus.  I am a planter, I can plant the seed of Christ.  You may walk away and shake your head but somewhere down in you I have planted a seed.  It may, or may not get watered, or I can be a waterer and water that seed, or a seed some one else planted.  You have the seed of Christ in you.  God, the Holy Spirit, talks to those with the seed in them and eventually some one will harvest that seed. It may be me, a preacher or you may harvest it on your own through the Word of God, just you and him.  You will some day, God willing, because God's will is the only way to not be in sin, and no Sin can ever enter into heaven.  So if you want to go to heaven to live in eternity, you need to be without sin.  WE are born in sin and the only way to be with out sin is to be in Christ Jesus, he died that your sin might be taken away, he redeems us from our sin.  God does it all he gives us the Faith, he Gives us the Grace and he gives us the Salvation, he does it all, if only we Believe that Jesus did this all for us.  Isn't that glorious, wonderful and gracious.  Salvation is that most wondrous miracle there is and it can be yours, today.....tomorrow.

Bountiful Basket Food Co-op day. We had wonderful baskets as usual, it was nice to see one and all.

Both the Ladies had girls over for the night, they were up and full of energy until the wee hours of the morning.  They needless to say did not come with me to Bountiful Baskets Food Co-op.  We made out good with out their help, though we did miss the things they normally help us with.  We had great volunteers as we always do.  The group of volunteers we have are very loyal and always so kind and helpful, with out our volunteers we would not be able to have a BBFC here or anywhere the communities are blessed by them.  They are just starting a Protein Project and though I have not gotten to participate it looks to be as wonderful an addition to Bountiful Baskets as Bountiful Baskets is itself.  Just think wonderful meats available as we now have the produce.

I hadn't seen Lady in a long time so it was good to get to see one another even for a short time.  I have so much to do, and so little time to do it I feel like Willie Wonka.  Maybe just as crazy as well. The extra littles will be going home soon, but the Ladies have singing at the Nursing home and the Assisted living at 3.  We have to go get a tree and one of the Ladies has a sledding party tomorrow.  I may try to talk Yogie into going on our own sledding and tree cutting trip instead but who knows if she will be open for that.  I have to figure out when to go to Zootown this week but have training and CAKLs on Tuesday. One of the ladies had a field trip and they each have a Christmas party on Thursday and Friday. I want to have the gingerbread house decorating tea party on Saturday, but have to go to Zootown before that can happen.  I hope that we can go as the Ladies want to do some Christmas shopping, even if they have orders from Poppie not to buy him anything.  I told him they can buy anything with their money so he grumbled.

So I am off to do whatever I can manage to get done.  I pray for your salvation ...... tomorrow.

Vanilla soap, plain, WIT, and the braided rug grows.....

Yesterday I managed to get quite a bit done, I didn't have any littles.  I made a big batch of vanilla oatmeal soap and one small batch of plain goat milk soap.  It was funny they both were the beautiful lightest color I get from goat milk right up until I put in the vanilla scent in, and it turned the one batch a yellow, that set into a golden brown once sponified.  They both set up nice and I sliced them this morning.  I hope to get a few more batches done up in the next couple of days.  I do like to make soap, it is always nice to have the different fragrances in the air.  I think I will make some apple cinnamon, some coconut and maybe some berry or rose next.  It was nice to make it again, since I hadn't in over a year, my soap closet still has quite a lot of nicely aged soap and smell wondrously when opened.

I think I am going to make a jig for my braided rugs.  I made one yesterday but since I didn't actually measure our the center I had to make it small, I was starting to get some bubble and I was so glad that since it is wool I could block it.  I decided it was a nice size so I started a new one with a nice long center so it can be a big rug.  I am thinking I will stop and make a jig of a board with two nails to keep it nice an taunt and maybe that will keep it from wanting to bubble later.  I did go to WIT to see if I could get more wool, no luck so will look in Zootown when the Ladies and I go next week.I did get a pleasant surprise when I went to pay for my purchases, they said it was free a Christmas gift, how wonderfully kind was that?  I did spend some time on the internet this morning trying to get ideas for keeping the bubble out of the rugs, mostly it was other woman asking for help. One lady said she did a formula for center size to the desired size.  That is when I discovered that the center of mine was so short it would have to be a small rug.  I did like the homey look the cut sweaters made.  I am going to make a couple old sheet ones I think and maybe do some creative dying once they are completed, maybe even some snow dying if I finish them while there is still snow on the ground.  I hope it works can't really see why the technique wouldn't work on rugs as well as roving.

Well off I go to make another batch of soap, a small one but it will still be one in the done column. I pray that you too know the joy of having Christ in your life.  I do know that life with him in it is better than any of my life that he was not in it.  I pray that your salvation is a set issue in your life,  religion and being a christian or a disciple of  Christ are not nearly as important as your believing in Christ and knowing that because he gave his life and arose that you can be saved just by accepting him as your savior.  I hope you make the choice for Christ Jesus.... tomorrow.

SAD is something I deal with yearly, sort of like Christmas it comes in December........ braided rugs...

I have suffered with SAD for a number of years, though it be a bit of a nuisance it in many ways is a blessing. I once suffered with what was probably clinical depression, in hindsight.  It took me most of my thirties to overcome.  I come from a family that never accepted that depression is real, and a reality, so I didn't really know that I was in depression for a great part of my depression.  My family didn't believe in it so they didn't have the ability to help me with it.  I wonder about it in from afar now,  it is a place I would not like to return to.  I call it my thirties and there is no desire from me, on any level, to return to them.  I think it many ways I was angry for most of my twenties and I over came it, I thought, but in reality I just internalized the anger and it was the root of my depression.  I have long since turned from both and with God's Grace and Glory he over came them for me.  I still have difficulties with December.  I don't really get depressed I just get a little hybernative.  I don't really experience depression I just want to cocoon.  I don't retreat to my room, I rarely have ever done that since I escaped my room in my late thirties.  I spent too many years there to ever really want to go there again.  I do try to make myself do some things in December, but not more than I can handle, to much sort of only makes it worse.  I have in the last few years used the time to read in my living room, and most all of the books I read any more are the Bible, devotionals and explanatory Bible theory book or concordances.  They give me comfort and help me understand where it is I want to go with my life and realize that God's will for me is so much more joyous than the paths I would chose alone.  I think that in so many ways my paths lead my older children astray as the following of the Lords paths have aided my littles to the right pathways, probably the biggest sins of my life.

I am making a braided rag rug but I am experimenting with using my upcycled felted wools to do it, so bravely I am cutting up knitted felted sweaters to makes strips.  I have made other rag rugs but usually with material.  I am still using one strand of material in this one, it is woven woolen.  I have recently learned how to braid the braids together.  I am going to make one of those next out of my tee shirt yarns.  I have so far managed to braid a large ball of braided wool.  Now I am using the antler needs that Poppie made me to sew it together.  I am still trying to get my computer back together, I can't load some of the stuff using internet explorer so I am learning to us Chrome as my most of the time browser.  I am getting used to it and will change over to it completely soon, but in the mean time I haven't loaded my camera programs so no photos.  I will have it up and running by the time I do the tee shirt yarn one and will include photos.   \

I make no apologies for any of my recent blogs due to my SAD.  I just think that you all may not like the heavily Christian ones all back to back.  I really don't apologies for that either because I don't think the God wants me to do anything more important on this blog than to share Christ Jesus with you but I do understand the some of you, like me, need a day or to of just nothing but plain living to give us time to digest some of what he wants us to hear.  I am reading a cool book by Ron Hutchcraft and he described Christianese and plain language so eloquently that I intend to share it with you maybe even tomorrow.  Jesus didn't speak Christianese he spoke to each person he meant on their level and that is what he wants us to do.  I am to speak the people in my life circle in their languages as he did. No, God did not give me tongues or a great knowledge of language, I actually can barely speak English ( as you well know but I digress).  He did give me the ability to talk to people one on one in a way that appeals to people, and since you are someone who may, or may not, follows my blog you are in my circle.  I hope that I have not just spoke Christianese to you and you either don't speak that or have shut it out as something you don't want to hear.  I do so want to share the translations given in this book it was actually very enlightening.  I am sorry you have to deal with my SAD but not that you have to listen to my Christianese just that you may not have understood it.  I do so want you to be truly saved and know that you will spend eternity in Heaven with Christ Jesus. So tomorrow I will share more..... tomorrow.

Spirituality is not the salvation of God..... gnawing hungry in our souls in God given.

I just read that the "baby boomer" generation is the most lost group of souls in all of life since Christ's death.  It is not that the generation is not gnawingly hungry for God, because God put that in the heart's (the minds) of all man, the knowing that he is lost and needs Christ, but it is deep and often unknown, it is most often just a knowing that there is a gnawing for something.  The something is what drives us but it does not always drive us to God.  People feel it and interpret it as many many different things.  Unfortunately in the baby boomer generation it has become a full bloom search for "doing what feels good to me".  Many a baby boomer is "spiritual" just asked them.  They are spiritual for the "great spirit", the age of astrology, the guru this or the guru that, the list goes on and on, there are many many churches that are the new age of love and feel goodness about themselves but so many many do not have a clue who the Lord Jesus is. We are living in a society that is less and less Judeo-Christian and more and more satanic.  We have wizards, vampires and whateverelses that  our children are taught to idolize and want to be.  Our society is more about the pretty boys and girls from hollywood and their idolization.  The first commandment of God was that we should have not other Gods before him, and no idols.  Just think how many many are available at every corner and we are expected to think they aren't really satanic they are just in fun.  Well what easier way to subjugate a society than by selling it to our children as fun and fantasy, I don't.  We have gotten complacent and don't even realize the danger our children and souls are in.  I have many friends that are "spiritual" but don't have a clue about Jesus and what's more they don't want to hear my "churchy" stuff.  I am saddened daily by the lost state they are in.  God didn't just accidentally but me in my life he put me in my life for a reason, and you as well, and the reason just might be that I can be the light that shines on the Word of God in your life.  You might pick up a Bible and know God because of something I have done that gave you a bit of curiosity to understand why I speak of Jesus.  I do hope so.  Nobody is saved by any one, only Jesus can save.  I can only be the light of this earth that God wants me to be.  I can only show you the Word that you might read and hear God.  He will do the rest.  He will tell you what he wants you to know and if you believe, really believe, you too can have eternal life because of your belief in Christ Jesus.  You too can know that he died for you, but lots of people have died for others, Christ is the only one that ever rose from the dead and lives after having died on a cross for your sins.  He alone is the one and only door in to Heaven and eternal life.  Believing in God doesn't get you there you have to believe and obey his word, that you believe the he sent his one and only son to die and rise again for your sins.  If Christ only died on a cross it was a great tale but that he rose from the dead is salvation.... tomorrow.

Snow a blessing as we had to warm up to have it fall, Bubbles is two today......

We spent the latter part of last week and the weekend in a deep freeze.  We had the coldest weather we have had in years.  It was -14 below zero on Saturday morning here in my yard.  The car started but before Poppie could drive to town the motor over heated on the car, he had to return home so the motor wasn't ruined, somewhere it was frozen.  Son spent the morning thawing his water pipes only to find that all of his drains were frozen so he had to allow the pipes to freeze back up because he had no place for the water to go once thawed.  Our water did not freeze until Saturday evening until around 8 and only froze because the pressure switch failed and allowed the water to set in one place where it was colder under one side of the house, the furnace (which we rarely use) helped thaw part of it but Poppie had to crawl under the house and lay on his back on the cold ground for an extended period of time, he thawed the pipes but thoroughly froze his back.  He spent the rest of the day in pain.  He went and helped the Professor unthaw his pipes later.  I would say it was abnormal but in reality it was just winter time in Montana.  I was not much help all weekend for Poppie I had a terrible neck and headache.  I am feeling a little better but think it is all more of the symptoms from my "friends" going and so far not return, a blessing in so many ways but some days I would trade some of the pain of her loss for her return.

Mokie helped Booboo make a simple pinata for the "winter concert"  I hate that the PC police have stolen the joy and love of Christmas from our children's lives.  Christ is the reason for the season so I think that if they don't want to honor and be blessed from his day then they should not celebrate it at all.  It is hypocritical to set aside a day and throw out the reason it was set aside in the first place.  Though it is not the real day of Christ's birth it is the day set aside to honor it, so HONOR it.  Merry Christmas to one and all, not happy holidays, stand up and say it out loud.  Merry Christmas to all and peace on earth, God sent Peace to earth and it was Christ with out him you are lost, he is your only hope for salvation.  Look around you, just look at all that are not in Christ and are dead men walking.  I look and like the boy from the sixth sense I see dead people one and all who are not in the body of Christ.  You are not in the body of Christ if you "believe in a higher being", if you believe in the "God thing", if you believe in God but don't believe in Jesus in anyway.  God said he gave his one and only begotten son and if you believe on him you will have eternal life.  God didn't say believe on me.  Jesus is the one and only door.  Christmas is about honoring him, if you don't you are lost.

Bubble celebrates her second b-day today.  Her sister Cubbie got into the freezer this weekend and ruined her sister's birthday cake.  Cubbie has been exceptionally naughty of late.  Her mom and dad are struggling to get her under control.  Tonight in the "winter concert" as I have said prior so unsure when we will celebrate Bubbles b-day so don't know when her mom is celebrating it.  She is so far ahead she has been in her naughty twos for some time but then with Cubbie being so naughty Bubbles naughtiness has been almost unnoticeable.

I pray you are in Christ and are among the living awaiting life in heaven.  I am so saddened when I here people laugh and joke about hell, or the afterlife.  It is real and it is not a joke.  So sad it will be to be one day to late.  Poppie has a bumper sticker that says if you are living like there is not God you had better be right.  I say if you are living like there is no Jesus Christ you are already lost..... tomorrow.  

Peoples in our lives some come and some go, how we interact with them say more about us than about them.......

I for the most part have always been a people watcher.  I spent a great deal of my childhood helping raise my siblings, and that in and of it'self if very normal.  I have 11 siblings, as I have said before, that vary in ages below me. 14 months (one died), 22 months, 3 1/2 years, 6 years, 10 years, 12 years, 14 (almost 15) years, 42 years in triplet.  So I have an unusual spread with most of my siblings.  I spent my teens baby sitting, and then became a mother at 20 ( the oldest of my sister siblings to do so, one of my brothers was 40).  I had 3 kids, but wanted more, Poppie only wanted 2 our great compromise, we ended up with 5, and we currently have 9 grands.  I moved around a lot as a child so I never really made long lasting relationships that were like normal nonmoving kids relationships, or so I thought maybe? as my kids (as children) have never moved around and they struggle with making lasting friendships so maybe it is generational more than environmental, or maybe it is really everyone's norm more than we think.  My Mom has always had few friends except for a tiny window in her life.  I do have some really good friends but they are few and far between.  I think I am liked but maybe in a way that doesn't invite more closeness, maybe I am like a cactus, prickly who knows and I am really to old to care or change on that front.  I cherish the ones I have and seek out the ones I really want to cultivate.

I once saw a photo of Poppie as a small child.  His cousins were all playing in a group and he was sitting a ways off watching from the outside looking in.  I am like that I think but maybe not is such an obvious way, maybe that is what I saw in Poppie to begin with, a kindred spirit.  We are you know, but you have to really know  us to know that.  So many people make such assumptions and never know that about us, they see us as very different and that in and of it'self is probably the success of our relationship.  We just get each other as maybe no one but God does.  We are both watchers of people's in ways.

I watch people come and go in my life and always have, whether it was me going or them running away from me.  I am rarely what people assume I should be or will be when they first see me.  I am a person so many people make the wrong assumption of.  That can be good, or it can be bad, but usually not middle of the road, in the end people like me or they just plain don't.  I have learned as I have aged how to make it more the like me part than the don't like me part.  I can't say I have ever not been kind to most people, I don't lie, and I never intentionally do, as a matter of fact I have never written a lie on this blog, it is part of that fact that it is a sort of an accountability that I make to myself.  I am writing to come to terms with many things in this blog and one of them is me so don't ever make the mistake of thinking I have ever lied here.  It is also why some people run from me but you aren't going to hear that I have gossiped about you somewhere, not that I have not fallen and sinned by gossiping, which I have really worked to over come, but the reality is I don't gossip if I have something to say to you I say it to you, and that is why you have decided to not be my friend sometime the truth hurts and I am considered mean spirited. I just don't see that candy coating something is the best way.  NO, I am not going to tell you you are fat, I usually try to find something truthful to say about people in a positive light if I need to.  If you asked me if your first pie ever was good, I know I can find something truthful to say about it that is positive, I don't have to tell you it was horrible to just be mean.  I am however not going to let you hurt my kids, my spouse, my friends or the random person on the street with your mouth if I can intervene.  I rarely hurt people just because I can I don't think God wants that, but he also doesn't want me to allow you to either so I have the right to walk away and never look back.

I was given many talents from God, maybe a bushel, but one of them is intuitiveness I can and usually do get the right impression of a person the instant I meet them and that sort of gives me the want or the not want to cultivate a relationship in the first place. My Mom and my Grandmomma's both taught me to be kind for kindness sake so you won't know what I thought about you or what I felt when I meet you.  I don't have to be rude I can just walk away knowing I don't want to pro sue a relationship.   I am a good service worker because I know how to make it professional, and not personal, I know how to make people comfortable with out seeing it as any more than what is expected of me.  I have watched people all my life and know a lot about the kinds of people this world has in it, the good, the bad and the ugly.  I have seen them all and know one when I see one.  I do wish that more people had that in them, I see the sorrow of a life lost because someone they meant helped them run head long down the wrong or evil path, knowing once they start there is almost nothing you can do to help or stop them.  You can only pray that you might get to pick up the pieces later and have a moments chance somewhere to intervene.

I do know that how we treat others is more about us than about them.  I am general a liked person, because I try to remember that Jesus treat others with kindness and I try as I grow to emulate that. I know that Jesus never lied or sugar coated anything in his life though.  He was never mean, or violent and only ever used anger in a righteous manner toward people.  I struggle with anger sometimes but for the most part I am learning not to be offended and to overcome offenses as best I can.  I am a work in progress, the Lord is working on me to make me more like his son, I have a ways to go.

I pray that you are on your journey to live with the Lord one day.  I hope you are more like Jesus daily, I pray that you have begun your journey with your salvation.  If not the day awaits and today is the day it could happen, you could be saved in God's Grace, think of that, nothing could be more important, all else can come after.... tomorrow.

Lotion bars in jars, and studying the Lords word in regard to offense.

I have said before that since I know it is a sin to be offend I am taking great care to study, pray and contemplate offense.  The sin of offending, the sin of being offend, the sin of being a stumbling block that offends or the stumbling block that unintentionally offends.  I spend the better part of my morning in devotionals. One at 6 with the Ladies and Poppie, after the kids went to school I started a one year devotional that just happened to start on Dec 1, how cool I only had to do two days to catch up.  I later was making my lotion bars and listening to the Church network when a show about offense came on.  It really got me to thinking and I decided to check out for a devotional or a sermon on offenses on the internet.  I found two that I like here is the link to one  http://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/507/Offense.htm.
 The second is http://opc.org/OS/html/V8/2c.html both are good and informative and helped me to understand much more about offenses, those who offend on accident and those who do it for a purpose.  I still am determined to no longer allow offense to be on of my sins and through the Lord I can accomplish this is the cases that he would have me not be offended in, which I pray are most of them.  I do have a little trouble with the instant offense but I pray and the Lord takes it all away and I am comforted in his arms.

I said I spent the morning making lotion bars, well I really did and didn't.  I wanted to make bars I had all the ingredients and one I added just because I can but the only cut bar molds I had the right size says goat milk and since there is no goat milk in my lotion bars, milk and oil like water and oil don't mix unless emulsified I couldn't use any since I didn't want to sponify or emulsify.  I decided I would put it in my squatty jars and they are all really cute.  I had a little left over and made some really cute little molded ones.  It is nice coco butter, bees wax, coconut oil and a little lanolin for good measure.  It smells nice, no, I didn't add any scent just the natural chocolate and beeswax scents combined to make a clean natural smell. I can't wait until they cool, harden and dry, funnnnn!!!!

I pray that you have asked for forgiveness for any offenses you have caused.  I pray you have not caused any offenses whether unintentional or not.  I pray more that you have not sinned with the intent of causing offenses.  They can be so destructive to your soul and be a stumbling block to the souls of those you offend. I pray that when you need to ask for forgiveness for your sins you can do it the way God intended you to and not assume your forgiveness is the same thing because they are not.  God awaits your repentance, whether you do it for your self, or for something you have done to someone else. If you offend some one you need to asked them for forgiveness and we are born in sin against God so today can be the day you repent and ask God for the forgiveness only he can give.  You can have his forgiveness today believe and asked it of him he will forgive you, he gave you his son that you might believe and asked him for it..... tomorrow.

Do you ever just think.....

What are the thoughts that come to mind in any one day.  Did they weigh on your heart a long time?  Did they smolder in you conscious thoughts?  Did they come to formation in your subconscious and spring themselves in to being when you weren't really looking leaving you to wonder "now where did that come from?".  I don't think that any one arises in the morning knowing all the thinks that they will think on any given day.  Thank you Dr. Seuss.  Really no one does.  I know that on days that I begin the day with the Lord he is for most on my mind for a good portion of the day so that is the best way to go about all the days I can.  Sometimes I think that the Lord can save me from so much that it is unimaginable how much so much can really be.  I know that he helps me start and try to stay on a good path so I wonder why I can't always begin with him. I get so lost when I can't look to him and talk thinks over so on the days that I don't start with him I can get way out of wack. You know when things start on the wrong foot and all seems to go down hill from there.  You step on the cats tail and he claws you, then you jump back and dump his water, stumble over a kid and do all you can as you fall not to knock the baby over.  Well that is what a day without the Lord seems to do to me.

I was watching David Jeremiah this morning and he said something in a really cool way.  Made all my thoughts sort of congeal.  It was so like something I learned in MLEA (Montana Law Enforcement Academe) years ago, and well nothing like it in it's specifics.  I am weird that way comparing apples and oranges.  I learned there years ago that if you take a cup and each stresser in  your life is a pea.  You add each pea individually to the cup.  One, then two, ten then twenty.  Each in and of itself is just a little bit of stress and never really bugs anyone but there comes a day when the cup is full and you add one more pea and it rolls off on to the floor.  You have reach the end of you stress endurance.  You are not capable of one more event, no one more pea just won't fit in the cup.  You can get help to empty the cup and go on or you are done in the Law enforcement profession and you walk away knowing you have no more room for anymore peas.  I found that there did come a day for me to walk away, I don't think my cup was full but it was full enough.  Getting back to David Jeremiah.  He started with a gallon jar with a wide mouth, he said to fill it up with as many large stones as you could.  Is it full?  You say yes, well he gives you a bucket of gravel and lets you add more.  Is it full?  Well since you are catching on to him a little you say, Maybe?  He brings out a bucket of sand and you pour in more.  Is it full?  Well you think it is maybe?  He bring our a bucket of water and fills it up and it took a quart of water to fill it.  Is it full?  Well yes, we think and would you belief it took a whole quart of water to make it so?  He asks if this is the time you have in a day how do you get the most important things into your jar?  Well that is easy you have to start with the most important because if you had filled that jar with sand in the first place you sure couldn't have gotten any large stones in it after the sand.  That is the key, begin with the important stuff and all the rest will fill in all the rest of the space.  What is important in this life?  It should be first and for most God, family and friends...  We should start our days remembering what is important put it in first and then the rest of our life will take care of it'self.

I hope you think on it long and hard, What is the most important thing in your life?  Set your thoughts to how to prioritize them into your life.  Get out that big jar fill it up with the stones that mean the most,  actually get a few stones write who or what matters to you in this life, Put them where  you can see them, on your desk, on the counter, in your purse or on the bench where you spend time.  The lively stones of your life are what matter, they are what you should put into you jar first.  Do you have a stone, on your table or in you heart with the Lord's name on it, you know right there with the one that says your loves name, or the name of your kids?  If not you need one, and you need to meet with him each morn communing, praying and studying because the wealth to your soul it will bring in unimaginable.  Please put first things first, and the Lord Jesus should be the first in anyone's life, first and for most.  If he isn't you need to seek him and find out what it is he has to offer to you.....tomorrow.

Busy day of doing nothings, put in the new old trundle day bed, and Poppie is moving our bedroom around for me.

Today was another day of doing just, you know when you just hang, or just this or that.  Poppie helped me bring in an old nearly antique trundle day bed he got from Herbalist.  It is about the size of a cot set up in the front room it has to metal bed ends a lot like the ones that Poppie made me the pot hanger that he refers to as "garbage".  They, though, still have almost all of their paint intact.  It has two of the smallest metal box frames you ever saw with two striped ducking fabric mattresses on them, again two of the smallest mattress I have ever seen that aren't crib or youth size.  I am cutting up one of my bedspreads to make a fitted cover for it but in the mean time I have two nice, though white, daybed covers that Lady gave me several years ago to cover it for now.  Did I tell you it is spring loaded if you take of the bungee cord off, I don't think original equipment, it wants to spring open into a double, well it would be a small double bed.  It is a nice addition to my front room that is fast becoming a throw back to the early 2000th century for decor, well that is if you don't count the 42 inch black whole that is in the center of the room for better viewing for Poppie, well that and the two computers among the plants..... so it's eclectic so to speak.

I did get Poppie to finish putting in the long table in the kitchen before Thanksgiving dinner.  It was totally cool that the old benches that my dad had made when I was about 12 fit without being cut down, so they are beautiful with all of their character still in tact. I am going to eventually paint the hutch, the table and the benches to match, but I am going to paint them depressed style.  I think painting the benches will protect them and keep them in tact for more years.  I make end up only putting a little paint and a lot of lacquer on the benches.  I do like the Poppie isn't in to deciding what goes into the house as far as interior decorations go, I know some husbands who want it their way, or maybe Poppie is either given up or actually likes my old quirky likes... who knows because he isn't saying.... though it was he that found the day bed and brought it home?

Cubbie spent the night and Bubbles came over at 1:30ish.  They both went home around 4:30ish.  It is nice to finally have just the four of us and the peace and quiet that comes with it.  We are going to veg and watch Oz the great and Powerful.  It is nice to just be us sometimes, especially on a just doing day.  I am just learning to make a braided rug that is all braided and not the sewing the braids together later kind.  Flower Child is going to teach me the finer techniques of the technique, I am so excited I have made many a braided rug but never one I didn't have to sew, so I always liked crocheting them better, this will be cool and finish the look of my front room.  Though I am sure finishing isn't something I will do, it will still be a work in progress thing I am sure.

I pray that your day was lovely, that the Lord had a hand in it.  I pray that you are in the arms of the Lord and you are giving him thanks on this thankful weekend.  I pray for your current salvation, your one to come or that you seek salvation and do not stay lost... tomorrow.

I love the fires of fall, the warm cozy days of just being.

We had a very nice Thanksgiving.  We had all the peoples that we had hoped would come to share with us, some couldn't come, but all were wonderful people that did come to share the day with us.  The food was good, but then that usually happens, the people were there because they wanted to be and not because it was a holiday and they had to be.  The Lord blesses our lives with true friends and some of them just happen to be family.  I missed all the ones I love that couldn't be here or that just no longer wanted to be here with us.  Today the day was a slow paced day of cleaning up all the dishes left over from yesterday.  Cuddling with the Cubbie, the Bubbles, the Yogie and the Booboo in front of the fire. The house was warm with the coziness that only a fire can bring to a home. We had no place to be and nothing that had to be done.  We chilled watched TV and shared life lessons that came up in conversation.  I am so glad for moments of quiet to share with the littles that will be the future of our family.  Poppie was gone for awhile but then came and joined our time of hibernation.  I love days that are for just being and I am a big promoter of the art of hibernation.  Our age tells us that we have to be connected in some way to all of the different aspects of the outside world but we don't have we can unplug even more that we here choose to be normally unplugged.  I love that we are still able to step away and just be as we please sometimes.

I hope today you had time to be quiet with yourself or God.  The aloneness of just being with yourself and knowing you're are never alone with God in your life is like nothing else.  It can be shared with a whole family, yourself or with friends.  God can and does spend time in a silent loving manner in ways that none of us can truly understand.  I think one of the most special things to come is to be able see the wonder of God in a more revealed manner.  We, as humans, only know what he tells of himself, oh, to be in the presence of God in his realm won't that be wondrous?  I look forward to that day, I hope you do as well, and you have assurance that you will be their,with the knowing knowledge, that you are saved and going to live in eternity with Christ Jesus.  Nothing is more comforting to know than that heaven is your future... tomorrow.

Okay so I have five minutes....... The Parade is done, the turkey is turkeying and the goodies are mostly made.

We got up bright and shinny this morning, we started with the Parade on the other channel, knowing that the one on NBC starts at 9.  We were so disappointed, as we were last year with CBS view of the parade that like last year we turned on NBC to watch it.  I never watch NBC as I have said before that I think what they did to Anne Curry is horrible, as it their politic in general, so we don't watch it but on Thanksgiving Morning we have to go against our minds and give in to our children's hearts.  I have always watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on NBC.  I raised my older children watching it as our first tradition every Thanksgiving morning, and my Littles and grands love it as much as any of us have as we grew up.  I give in one day a year and I do pray for the Lord to forgive my weakness.  I truly dislike NBC and so much of what they stand for on air that my conscious won't let me watch any of their stuff and know nothing about any of their new stuff, thought I have seen the commercials for the new MSNBC stuff and even the commercials is totally offensive to my beliefs and I am sure God agrees.  So this morning I sinned a little I am saddened by the lapse and I pray the Lord sees my good intent and forgives my sin.

The girls and the littles helped get the last of the house cleaning done, they said "it was so easy and took so little time"  I said, "when all help it is always like that, all have more time to enjoy their time".    I hope they learned that it is good to help out.  The pies were made yesterday.  Booboo made two all by herself while I took Yogie to the dentist.  I was so proud of her.  I then messed up the pecan pies but thank goodness it was forgiving and let me fix it up.  I ended up buying a cheesecake as I didn't have time to really make one and Mokie love's them and since I didn't make one for her birthday I think she deserved it. We got both turkeys going this morning, one roasting and one grilling (Poppie first and he was looking so forward to doing it.) I also cooked up the last ham from Mrs. Chops, Poppie is heartbroken it is the last,  I told him to butcher one of the small hogs and we can have it smoked by Christmas.  He just might.  I also asked him to see if Son would help in butchering the goats next weekend.  Hunting season will be done so they should have the time.  I can't wait to can the goat meat up, I will keep the shanks as Poppie does like them roasted.

We only have the gravy to make, sweet potatoes to finish in the oven and potatoes to peel.  The hunters (Mokie and Son)  will soon be home, G-Pa, G-Ma and Boy will come along, Herbalist, Professor and his son will be joining us.  The littles are enjoying the free preview from the premium channels.  We have it on the family channels so it is all family orientated.  I hope you are enjoying your loved ones as much as I am this day.  I hope you traveled or they traveled to see you and you are giving thanks to the Lord for all the things he has given you this last year.  I hope all of us give glory to the Lord this day, in our hearts, minds and souls.  I pray that if you haven't received your salvation that this Thanksgiving Day you can know the truth of God, believe, repent and be saved.... Happy Eating...... tomorrow.

Does your life Glorify the Lord? Do you even think of your life in that way? Should you?

I have said that I have asked the the Holy Spirit to help with my life long struggle with weight.  On that vain I was recently down loading free e-books, okay so I am cheap but then I never said I wasn't, but anyway I down loaded a book called The flowers on the wall diet Bible study.  I wonder about the name mostly so I down loaded it to see what it was about.  The Holy Spirit does guide our life, truly he does if we but allow him to do so.  I started reading it and thought it was a good book with thoughts that I could really find guidance in.  I thought I would see how much a physical book would cost me, along the way I ran into more books written in the same manner.  I was reading along in the genre when I found that one of the books had a free on line course that you could take, which gave you a mentor and accountability.  I have said before I will never diet again and what appeals to me about all of these book is that they have nothing really to do with dieting so much as they have to do with Bible study.  They teach how to seek God Word on issues of weight and implement them into your life.  To listen to your body, a body God created to be perfectly capable of knowing when it was hunger, what it needs and how to be the best it can be to glorify the Lord.  I'm really excited to see where the course goes and where it leads and what it brings to light for me in the Lords word.  The course I am "taking" is called the Lord's Table, all free and I think the Holy Spirit lead me to it to give me help toward my goal of Glorifying the Lord in my body, not for my glory but his do I want to loose weight, how can I do what he has planned for me in this life if I am not in the body he planned for me to do it in.  Being in the body he wants for me is only one step in a life meant to glorify God, it is only one step.  We all have steps we can take.  Do you ever think before you make a decision "will this glorify God?"  Is my actions a glorification of God?  We really need to start thinking about all we do in the manner....

The first verse, and the reoccurring verse, that is repeated over and over in the study is,

1 Corinthians 10:31

King James Version (KJV)

31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Just think of what this verse really says.  Read it, memorize it and live it, it holds the whole of lives plan for you from God.  I am truly excited to be on my new journey with the Lords guidance.  Really shouldn't we all strive to live a life that Glorifies God??

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, you can chose to live it the way you have always done or you could start living your life to glorify God.  What a way to think about the rest of your life.  The first step of a life dedicated to living for the glory of God is salvation.  You can not glorify God if you do not believe him.  He gave his only begotten son that we might believe on him and have eternal life.  Salvation and glorification can be your new life and it can start today, take a step toward God it is the way to start a journey of unimaginable grace... tomorrow. 

Lamps, Lamps and more lamps...... mason lamps and lamps with defusiers, Poppie is the master.

I answered a game on Facebook this week, it was a game to share something most people would not know about you.  My #7 was that I know more about, and doing, random nothings than most people I know.  Most anyone who knows be would affirmative that.  I really am a jack of numerous trades and a master of none, well maybe one or two.  Poppie is and always has been one of the most mechanically minded people I know.  He can be given a machine to run and master it in a couple three weeks.  He can also put together almost anything, as long as he took it apart himself.  I have recently asked him to make me some mason jar lamps but we had decided that if he is going to do it he is going to do it as accurate to the time frame of the jar as possible.  I have bought him various old lamp parts from various era's from the 1930 forward.  Some are knob and tube and some are vintage 80's parts.  He hasn't actually began to make any lamps for me as he is working on my hanging kitchen "garbage" as he calls it.  I call it a beautifully lit pot hanger.  It is made from an antique child's bed frame, an old board used on a `1954 truck, more than likely from the 50's, it has lovely old chipped paint and is wondrous.  IE, Garbage to Poppie but he loves me and will put together anything I think up, I am truly blessed.

Several years ago I purchased two lamps from WIT, Kelly sold them to me because she knew we had a kindred spirit for seeing old things fixed up so they could once again fulfill their destiny.  I got the lamps home and one didn't work, so we used the one and put the other up for someday.  Well last week was someday.  Poppie checked it out and it just needed a part that I found on eBay.  I also had to find a defusier for it, eBay again. I do still have to find a second defusier because when it got here it fit another old lamp I had had since Baby Sister had given it to me many years ago.  Poppie had plugged it in at the time but it didn't work and he didn't have time to play with it.  He brought it out a couple days ago, I had forgotten all about it.  It is a beautiful lamp (all of them are floor lamps) with a clock (that didn't work), a defusier mogel light and then three chandelier arms with a small light in the bottom that uplights (a true beauty and probably a very special light when new).  He played with it a few minutes and the lights soon all worked, but the clock kind of scared him.  Baby Sisters Hubs had played with it but never got it to work and he is a working electrical man.  Poppie decided he might look today but since Hubs hadn't got it to work he didn't hold out much hope.  He opened it up, knowing that if it had a motor and the motor didn't work we were out of luck.  It had a motor, but it seemed to spin, it also had a wire that was unhooked with old black tape on it, so either Hubs didn't look at it or he missed the broken wire.  Poppie rewired it and I have a 1930, or maybe 20's, clock floor lamp ticking away the time in my front room (an accurate I might add), with the defused light shining down on it, we will up light it later.  I love a man that even amazes himself........ I truly am a blessed woman, and he loves me, yes me.

I pray that you are living for the glory of God.  Nothing in this world is more important or more special and fulfilling.  Your life can't not compare to the life you can have with the Lord in it.  Today he could become part of your life, believe, repent and ask God's forgiveness and you too can have your salvation.... tomorrow.

Bubbles enjoys Church. Cubbie couldn't wait to go all week and Boy just chills.....

Cubbie had been excited to go to Church since her dad told her he would take her to Church this Sunday. She had her dress all picked out and couldn't contain her excitement to go with her dad.  This morning bright and early Boy came over holding both his sister's hands and asked if we could do their hair.  Bubbles was wearing one of the woolen dress I had made, the one with the appliqued sheep on it.  They were dress all warm with boots and coats over their dresses.  I did Cubbie's and Yogie did Bubbles hairs, soon after they had their hair combed Boy took their little hands and took them home to go to Church with their Daddy.  We left soon after, pies, sweet potatoes, cranberries and relish tray in hand.  Today was to be potluck.  Son and the kids arrived shortly behind us.  The ladies got all the food stuffs in the oven, and refrigerator, soon after morning services started.  Bubble was so excited she didn't know exactly what to do, she hadn't been to Church since she had been really little and since she will be two next month she thinks of herself as a big girl.  She sat on Yogie's lap with her hymnal on her lap, she sang along a little but most people wouldn't have guessed she was singing more like she was just making noise.  She got off Yogie's lap with her hymnal in a bear hug and walked around the pews (rows of chairs) looking at the people.  Her Dad and Poppie both tried to encourage her to sit with them but she was most intent on sharing hymnals.  The Preacher told them to leave her be he thought that some one so joyous as to hug her hymnal and share songs books with one and all was praising the Lord out loud and joyously and what more could you asked for. During the worship service I took her back to class with the littles and she wasn't quite sure she liked class but she did dance a little when we were singing Father Abraham.  She enjoyed the coloring and finally just about time to go figured she had had enough of class. Cubbie and Boy were just enjoying having class with their friends and the Violinist.  Church was over when I brought her out of class so I gave her to her Dad and helped the ladies get the potluck ready.

We had a joyful potluck all were well fed and I think Son for the first time was comfortable being at Church the Lord had sure blessed our family this week, Son sought his salvation and he is the better for it.  His children are already reaping the bounty of his decision.  I hope soon Mokie too can join us at Church.  I think that in the end salvation is a choice we each have to make, a parent can, love, harass, cajole and do many other things to try and make their children seek salvation but it is a choice one has to make for themselves, in their time and on God's schedule.  This week Son made a choice his father had long prayed for but in the end it was done on Son's time frame and how Son chose to do it.  I pray that you have sought your salvation.  It is never to late, God is a patient God and knows your heart, he does but call and await your choice today.  Is today the day you answer him for yourself, of your choice?  I pray so, nothing is more sweet to see or hear than a lost child of God calling for his father's love and acceptance, the gift of salvation awaiting... tomorrow.

Do ever wonder why and think about it and really know why?

This past week has been a bit of a roller coaster, with seemingly devastating  lows and highs that brought joy untold to my heart.  I think that maybe God was telling me that I don't have to go into being devastated if I but call him before I over think myself into trials he is was not going to make me endure if I had just sought him before the devil talked me into being distraught.  I do wonder why; and when I get a little time to stand back from the situation I know why?  God had wonders to revel to me but I didn't await the outcome I instead tried to fixes things or worry them to death before his time frame reveled itself to me.  I am always trying to answer the why in the midst of the dark when if I had just awaited the dawn, God's dawning would have shown it's self in the completeness he had intended.

My reacquiring trial reared it's ugly head this week and I let myself be overwhelmed when in the end God was trying to give me a blessing, and the reality was that once I asked him what he wanted and what was his plan he blessed me more than I had ever thought in the mater.  He also used the situation to bless our family in a way that the whole of us could not have seen coming.  He chose the time to bring another of his lost sheep into his fold and the whole trial was for good.  Some of us need the dark to see our way to the light, and God was helping one more lost sheep come home while he had the 99 others of us not know why or how.  I am blessed but the lost sheep is much more blessed by the out come and the whole of his family will reap such future blessing in the end.

Sunday is to be potluck, and to me it will be especially blessed because one person there will be there for the first time, in a long time, because they wanted to be and by their choice not one made by them by others.  The choice was made freely and with God's asking, how more blessed can anyone be than that.

I hope you are in a dark place and put there by God so he can lead you to the light of understand and his love.  He is asking you in a way that can be life changing for you, and your loved ones, heed his call and walk forward to accept his gift of salvation in your life and know that the second death has no claim on you...tomorrow.

Do you ever look down the long road of life and just wonder why some things are?

I think on mornings I wake up with pain that won't go away even after time and ibuprofen have tried to work their magic, and didn't, I tend to become introspective just to manage to smile and put one foot in front of the other.  Today of all days I do not have time for this.  I have had the littles since quarter of 7 and they need things that someone who wants to stay in bed grumbles to have to do but I do it anyway, it is usually easier to fill the cuppie than to listen to the never ending request for it.  Cooking the eggs is better than listen to the whines of a hungry child.  I am lazy that way, doing it the first time in most cases is the easiest way to survive.  Just watch water rolling down hill sometime, if it encounters a stick it just keeps pushing and pushing until the stick get out of the way so it best to just let it flow.  Littles rarely care if you hurt they can't feel it and just want you to see things their way or maybe just as they need.  I do thank the entertainment of TV sometimes, though I still want it to be something that teaches so "no, they can not watch this or that, just what Nannie actually allows" after all I have not lost my mind the pain just makes me whine not go crazy.

I do so wish that like so many of my friends that my "friend" of 40+ years would go away and never come back, well to be honest she is trying to leave and never come back but something in me just won't let her go, I wish I could figure out what and make it stop asking her back.  She has tried repeatedly in the 18 months to go, and not return; but now she is just mean and pain full and doesn't really come by she just phones in the pain.  A friend of mine, who I might note is 5+ years younger than me, asked me about my friend because my dear Mokie told her I was going through a lot of what she is.  I told her which symptoms I had and told her that my mother enjoyed her friend until she was about 54, to which she replied she didn't think it was enjoying, (you think) and I full think I will not get rid of my friend tell then either but I do hope I am wrong. I thought that her final far well coinciding with my 53 birthday could be my present for the whole rest of  my life, but no.  Well she really hasn't come to visit but she is making painful grumbles about my inhospitable thoughts.  So today I am in pain, and can't make it stop, have been for a couple days, but the ibuprofen usually eventually works, well if I add chocolate it seems to work better so I am going to go raid the chocolate chip canister.  I do thank the Lord that I had my friend's visits until the girls were well and truly old enough to understand her visits but since they will soon have their own friends to come visit I think I should get a reprieve.  Well alas I will close, the chocolate is really calling and sitting in one place long enough to type this is worse than just walking around and suffering.

I pray for your salvation and your life in Christ.  I pray that you seek yours or if you already have I am gloriously happy that you are a saved loved member of Christ's family...... tomorrow.

Bubbles is such a joy sometimes..... toddlers can be such a wonder.

I rarely have gotten to spend one on one time with Bubbles.  Isn't that the way of it, the oldest child or grandchild get lots of one one one time, and eventually the youngest child or grandchild also get one on one time but the littles in the middles sometime get lost in the shuffle.  Bubbles is not a middle child as yet but she isn't the last child so she is still having to share all of her time with the older kids.  She rarely demands anything.  She is, as I have said before, very bright and does everything way ahead of time.  She is nearly all potting trained and won't be two of a little while.  She spent most of the day yesterday doing very well until Booboo came home and taught her a new game, she got so engrossed with the new of it she forgot to go.  She was the first one to run and get something to clean it up, the puddle.  She decided since she had Nannie all to herself she would have me read every single book in her book box.  I keep a large basket with all of her books probably twenty to thirty in it.  She began with the hardboard books and finished with the paper page books that she usually doesn't get to play with, once done we had to start all over.  She knew when the growls would come and the cockidoddledoo's of chicken little's friend cocky locky needed to be said.  She really likes roosters because that was her favorite first book, the one where she could say cockidoddledoo, even if it sounded like cluckacluckado.  I think she will be an avid reader when she grows up. She knows now that there is something in those books she wants and can't wait to figure out just what it is.

Today I am going to make pies for Poppie and I am going to let the littles help.  They watch as Booboo can make pies all by herself and they want to do that.  Cubbie especially likes to roll pie dough, she got to roll all the dough when we made pies for her mamma's birthday.  Bubbles likes to help but she mainly likes to use the pie dough as play dough, and when she is done we cook it up into pie dough cookies, she is just as proud as if it was a fancy french souffle.  Booboo wants lasagna for dinner so we will get that made and ready to bake.

I applied for the sub job at the Library recently, knowing that it would not be a very active job and it would give me some time out but they would probably not need me a lot.  I got a call yesterday telling me that I was one of the two ladies hired, that was nice, it will be something to look forward to but won't in the short term disrupt my scheduled non-scheduled life.  I think I will really like it, it is the first job I have actually really considered since I left the sheriff's office over 8 almost 9 years ago.  The Ladies are getting older now and thought the grands need me I might just need a bit of a change.

I pray for one and all.  I know that some of you pray daily and the Lord is hearing and answering all of our prayers on his time line.  I pray more for the ones of you who do not pray, or know not how to pray, or don't even know to whom to pray.   I pray for the glory of God in all of your lives, for those of you who know him as father, as old friend, new friend or maybe are just interested in getting to know him.  Salvation is the most important thing in this life beyond all else and any one who doesn't know that, or denies it, I am truly saddened for...... tomorrow.