Thursday, December 12, 2013

SAD is something I deal with yearly, sort of like Christmas it comes in December........ braided rugs...

I have suffered with SAD for a number of years, though it be a bit of a nuisance it in many ways is a blessing. I once suffered with what was probably clinical depression, in hindsight.  It took me most of my thirties to overcome.  I come from a family that never accepted that depression is real, and a reality, so I didn't really know that I was in depression for a great part of my depression.  My family didn't believe in it so they didn't have the ability to help me with it.  I wonder about it in from afar now,  it is a place I would not like to return to.  I call it my thirties and there is no desire from me, on any level, to return to them.  I think it many ways I was angry for most of my twenties and I over came it, I thought, but in reality I just internalized the anger and it was the root of my depression.  I have long since turned from both and with God's Grace and Glory he over came them for me.  I still have difficulties with December.  I don't really get depressed I just get a little hybernative.  I don't really experience depression I just want to cocoon.  I don't retreat to my room, I rarely have ever done that since I escaped my room in my late thirties.  I spent too many years there to ever really want to go there again.  I do try to make myself do some things in December, but not more than I can handle, to much sort of only makes it worse.  I have in the last few years used the time to read in my living room, and most all of the books I read any more are the Bible, devotionals and explanatory Bible theory book or concordances.  They give me comfort and help me understand where it is I want to go with my life and realize that God's will for me is so much more joyous than the paths I would chose alone.  I think that in so many ways my paths lead my older children astray as the following of the Lords paths have aided my littles to the right pathways, probably the biggest sins of my life.

I am making a braided rag rug but I am experimenting with using my upcycled felted wools to do it, so bravely I am cutting up knitted felted sweaters to makes strips.  I have made other rag rugs but usually with material.  I am still using one strand of material in this one, it is woven woolen.  I have recently learned how to braid the braids together.  I am going to make one of those next out of my tee shirt yarns.  I have so far managed to braid a large ball of braided wool.  Now I am using the antler needs that Poppie made me to sew it together.  I am still trying to get my computer back together, I can't load some of the stuff using internet explorer so I am learning to us Chrome as my most of the time browser.  I am getting used to it and will change over to it completely soon, but in the mean time I haven't loaded my camera programs so no photos.  I will have it up and running by the time I do the tee shirt yarn one and will include photos.   \

I make no apologies for any of my recent blogs due to my SAD.  I just think that you all may not like the heavily Christian ones all back to back.  I really don't apologies for that either because I don't think the God wants me to do anything more important on this blog than to share Christ Jesus with you but I do understand the some of you, like me, need a day or to of just nothing but plain living to give us time to digest some of what he wants us to hear.  I am reading a cool book by Ron Hutchcraft and he described Christianese and plain language so eloquently that I intend to share it with you maybe even tomorrow.  Jesus didn't speak Christianese he spoke to each person he meant on their level and that is what he wants us to do.  I am to speak the people in my life circle in their languages as he did. No, God did not give me tongues or a great knowledge of language, I actually can barely speak English ( as you well know but I digress).  He did give me the ability to talk to people one on one in a way that appeals to people, and since you are someone who may, or may not, follows my blog you are in my circle.  I hope that I have not just spoke Christianese to you and you either don't speak that or have shut it out as something you don't want to hear.  I do so want to share the translations given in this book it was actually very enlightening.  I am sorry you have to deal with my SAD but not that you have to listen to my Christianese just that you may not have understood it.  I do so want you to be truly saved and know that you will spend eternity in Heaven with Christ Jesus. So tomorrow I will share more..... tomorrow.

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