Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween, the kids can't wait, fall filled weekend.

The ladies serenaded me with Happy Halloween this morning, can't tell they are excited to begin the day. They are eating their breakfast with gusto and can't wait to go to school. It is always nice when they are in a positive mood for the day and not grumpygusses from being tired. I can't wait to see what they decide to wear to school and watch as they enjoy the excitement to participate in their day.  We will be trick or treating later so that will be something to look forward too.

We had a great weekend we tore down old goat pens and made a second large pen so next year we will be able to rotate them from one pen to the other and maybe get their little pastures to grow. We will end up with two big pens, a buck pen and a transferring or holding pen.  Poppie used the Kabota to scrap it all down good. We got two good piles of manure and old hay in piles that will be composted by spring.  We harvested our first pile that we made this spring the same way.  It is wonderful compost.  We will soon have extra for people who want good compost for their garden.  The compost was surprisingly easy to make compared to other manure mixtures we've dealt with.  I had read that the goat was a fast manure to work but was amazed at our results.  The compost is so rich and fine that we got, yay, we will need it come spring for the greenhouses and garden.

The kids and the grandkids all helped with feeding chores yesterday, they all had a great time feeding the different animal.  The grandkids had a great time as it is something they don't get to do so was very fun for them.  The girls got to be the experts and they enjoyed that.  Poppie and I put a second layer of wire around the piglet pen and up and over the cabin; so Cleo and Lilly can now only get on the cabin roof and look in with no place to get into steal grain.  They look so funny sadly looking down into the pen with such longing.  They should stop attempting to break in as soon as they figure out it is useless to try, but as they are goats maybe not, and maybe it will just be a part of their day.  We moved Swiss Miss Chop to the boar and Miss Piggie back to her pen, she is Mokie and Nate's sow.  All and all a wonderful fun, work filled weekend in the sunshine and lovely fall weather..... tomorrow.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

One of our neighbors died, sad day for their family, a live well lived.

I just heard the the oldest member of our neighborhood died.  He would have been 94 in March.  He was a remarkable man and I am sure he will be missed by his family, a large one, and all the lives he touched.  He was born the same day as my Grand Father Martin, my mothers father.  My parents always had a special place in their hearts for him.  He was the father of seven or eight children, I am not sure the actual number, he had numerous grandchildren, and great grandchildren and maybe even great great grandchildren.  He had been a loving son to his mother who lived to be about the same age as he did.  He had had poor health for the last few years, and he lived in his home with this son and daughter in law who all took good care of him.  His body may have failed him but from all accounts his mind was sharp. He is the man who owned our property and all the properties of the neighbors around us before we bought them. He lead a full and colorful life and will be truly missed by all that knew and loved him. I had the good fortune of dancing with him once, at the County Fair, he was a man of charm, charisma and was a gentlemen to the bottom of his feet, and he could dancing, even in his eighties, like Fred Estaire. I am sure he struggled to keep my left feet from stepping on his but he was a grand old soul and thanked me for the dance.   Godspeed, Ken.....

Ken's passing makes me ask if I am living my life in a way God would find as faithful and good.  I have contemplated and I would have to say yes, on the whole.  I try to live by God's word to the best of my ability.  I have made choices that have been bad but when I find that I have failed God I try to repent and live the way God asks me too.  I am so glad that my life will be judged by God and not man.  Man always has an agenda when he judges.  God see us through his son Jesus if we have made Christ our savior. I have made Jesus my savior and try my best to live the way he asks me to.  I read and study my bible to see what it is that he asks of me.  I have raised all my children to believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  Man's opinion of my life does matter to me in that I don't want to be a stumbling block to any who would seek God but I don't live my life to impress people or live my life as they would have me live it.  The bottom line is it is my life to live and I only have to answer to God for the choices I make.  I am mindful of that each and everyday, I may not be where I want to be in my life but I try my best to get there everyday.

John 3:16, God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and who soever believes on him shall not perish but have ever lasting life..... amen..... tomorrow.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Piglet escape artists caught, turkeys adore their new space, goats wonder what they are.

Poppie and I went out first thing yesterday to finish the turkey pen, we decided to run a row or goat wire around the bottom of the pen, not to keep the turkeys in, but to keep the goats out.  Cleo feels the need to steal food from any animal that might have something she doesn't and she might want.  We ran the wire around the pen and sure enough Cleo had to see what we were doing.  Poppie then cut out the hole from the turkey shed to the pen.  None of the 4 turkeys were brave enough to venture out so Poppie pushed the tom and one of the hens out into the pen.  we watered them in the outer pen, but not food, so as not to entice Cleo and company in.  They were apprehensive at first but soon took to the pen, one of the last two turkeys soon joined them and I finally pushed the last hen out the hole so they all got to see the world.  They had never actually been out in the outdoors so it was a big change for them.  We hope we made the pen secure enough as we have flock of wild turkeys, that once had 21 in it but it is down to about 17 now, that come through our yard daily.  We don't want ours to get out and join them and not come back. The turkeys tried out their wings a little and from all the chirping and attempts at gobbling we could hear they love the new digs.  Curious, Cartoons, Cubbie and Boy got to see them from the outside of the pen and were totally enchanted with the birds.  The turkeys are Booboo's, and as they have always been hand feed are very friendly, they came right up to the kids for pets.

While we were fixing the turkey pen we found two of the little piglets out making the journey back and forth between their pen and momma's.  We cornered them and put them back in with their siblings, then looked to see where they could have possibly gotten out.  We found it soon enough, one of them, the big male, we suspect, had torn a hole in the chicken wire and tunneled all the way across the pen to a large hole in the outer wire.  He had a scratch on his side and you could see the tunnel he and his cohort had left between the wires.  I took baling twine and laced the tunnel wire tight and all the additional low wire as well.  They tried wholeheartedly the rest of the day to get out, but no luck, so with any luck this morning they will have come to terms with being on their own pen and more accepting of their new digs one and all.  Most of the piglets like the new pen as they get more food, momma doesn't pig it all from them.  They for the most part will come to the wire when you call them for pets, the most brave is the little one I call Ham, she is always the first to come forward and will bite at your finger to get your attention if you quit petting her before she wants you to.  We get to look at them more in the open and we are try to decide which one we will keep as a second momma sow.  I think, for the most part, we will keep 3 or 4 sows and a couple males as the six we are going to raise up to market pigs and make the final decision when they are grown, my guess is the Miss Ham or Miss Charlotte will win out, Blackie is not as long as they are so will probably not be as good a candidate for being a momma but time will tell. Sometimes our kids sentimental ties to an animal wins out over which one would be the technical better option. 

Raining today and it is hunting season so probably won't be going out in the woods, it is more dangerous now and all the orange is just a bother to put on just to go in the woods.  Poppie will be hunting this year for the first time in about 15 years, he just got his disabled conservation license.  He has access to a gun that is small enough that he can shoot without it hurting him so we will see if he has any luck, whether he does or not he will have gotten to participate in an event he used to enjoy alot. The hunt is more important than the results I am thinking..... tomorrow.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Turkey pen done, and ready to have inhabitants. Nice morning to come.

We spent the greater part of the day making a yard for the turkeys.  We were right next to Caesar and he was totally curious as to what we were doing.  We had him on the chain so we didn't have him interrupting the progress. Cleo had to come over and push at the wire with her nose, I am sure she was deciding whether to eat it or not, she in the end didn't but she sure wanted to make sure she couldn't before she made her decision. We used chicken wire on the inside of the piglet pen to make sure the three little escape artist could no longer return to their momma, she wasn't happy they were gone and grunted for their to return off and on.  She grumbled at me but did let me pet her when I watered her.  She seemed to be saying why or why can't I have my babies back.  She doesn't realize they are two old for her to keep and she needs to fatten back up and go on to a new purpose with out them.  We are all out of piglets at this point. We are keeping two, five are going home to new homes soon and 4 will be staying to become market pigs for four people, so will have them to feed until they are ready to go home.  Mokie still has a few weaner piglets left to sell.

Off to have coffee with Lady this morning, it will be a nice get away and we always have fun catching up on each others lives.  Can't wait to enjoy my morning.  I slept like a baby last night.  I talked with Sister and touched bases on each other lives which always gives me a sense of renewal.  Sisters our the best.  Drama Queen has a special day today, it is her birthday,  she just celebrated her 22 anniversary a couple weeks ago so she and her hubbie are going to be going away on a special trip together, it will be nice for them to get away I am sure.  I do so hope they have a great time. Special birthday wishes out to her.  Poppie has such fun taking her girls to school, he had taken Girlie last year but she has since graduated on to her adult life.  He takes, Butterfly and Flower, Yogie thinks that that would be good names for her cousins,  not sure why she thinks of them so but I am sure that they good names for them as Yogie is a thoughtful loving soul.

Poppie is still under the weather with a sore throat, with Poppie sick is just a slower pace most of the time, he is rarely one to stay in bed and whine, but it does happen.  He is only a little sick as he "has stuff to do today ............. tomorrow.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Bullying has no place on blogs or the internet.... step forward and show yourself for who you are.

I watched a great speaker on the today show on Monday, they were talking about Internet etiquette.  The speaker said that it was fine to have pseudo names for your families and people you know, that you talk about in your blog, I did it right and didn't even know it, that in this day and age it was a matter of being smart in the environment we live in.  The speaker did say that the really bullying on the Internet was quite often the anonymous people who said spiteful mean things under the cloak of invisibility.  I do so love all the comments that so many people, that read my blog send me, good or bad, as it teaches me so much; but when I began receiving mean destructive cyber-bullying comments that had no place on my blog I had to moderate the worst of them out.  I have 6 to 8, I belief, from content, that are from the same person or the person representative, they are sweetly awful and offal, so have sent them all to spam. I do believe that you can have a forensic computer expert trace them back it if is important like say, violation of a TRO.  Blogger also doesn't allow me to alter them so I can prove they are written the way the are now.  If this person were above board and actually wanted to say something, that I would publish, to my blog for all to see they would stop being a cyber bully and proudly put their name on the pieces they send me.  Most people who read my blog know who I am or at least that I try to be forthright enough to show myself open to all who want to read about my life in my blog. If you will note at the very bottom of my blog it states my name and that fact that I don't allow reprinting and it is copyrighted. So dear sender of the spam comments put your name on them, your really name, so all can see you for the bully your are and I will gladly publish them for the world to see. Until that time I don't read them I just send them to spam, I know they are all from you by the style and mannerism of the writing.  Yours very truly, Debbie, also know as Nannie to all who love and care about me.

Didn't sleep well, haven't for a couple days, my mind it wanders.

I fell asleep last night just after 8 and I was up by one, a pattern this week it seems.  I think it may be my age or maybe my lives events of late, but probably age. Many of my friends seems to have the same issues if reading their statuses on facebook is any indication.  I always find it funny when people say that old people need to got to bed early.  It could only be because we need to catch as many cat naps as possible during the night, not because we sleep one long peaceful sleep. I always have had my best ideas at night when I couldn't sleep.  I figured out how to carve 3d antlers one night about 15 years ago and many other carving riddles seem to have come more easily in the middle of the night with Poppie snoring at my side.  I rarely have days on end with no sleep though and I am noticing the wear and tear on me. 

We had a great afternoon yesterday, Cubbie and Curious chased after goats and tried to catch the piglets, or at least touch them threw the fence, but the little piggies wouldn't come near them.  Curious thought that each and every goat needed to have her hand deliver a bite of hay to them, some of them ate it but others ran off.  We tried to teach her to pick it up and put it back in the manger with some success but only some.  We caught a break and the three little piglets that were still in with momma got out in the goat pen and Mokie, Poppie and I caught them and put them in with the rest of the piglets.  Later at dark we noticed they had gotten back out and returned to momma so we will have to catch them again today and return them to the other piglets.  Saturday we take momma over to the boar so that should help them stay with their siblings even if the fence repairs we make today don't work.  Cleo climbed into the piglet pen and crawled under the door which is only 12 inches off the ground and got into the piglet cabin, Poppie was not happy with her, got her out and had to make a tiny little door for the piglets to keep her from getting back in.  The work of a goat/pig farmer is never done.  Poppie hates them so much sometimes, for about 10 minutes, and then goes back to knowing they keep him from loosing all his abilities.  The old adage if you don't use it you loose it is alive and well here.

We cleaned out the greenhouse yesterday, had a hard freeze the night before, I made a nice tomato sauce with some of them.  We have a couple buckets that will have to ripen so should have some tomatoes to enjoy for a while to come. I hope the weather is nice today again, we do so love the ability to enjoy the long Indian summer.  It kind of makes up for the exceptionally long cold spring.  Have a lovely day in your neighborhood, I will in mine, no one has the right to make it otherwise.... tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Open house at the School, the girls got to share their world with us, nice night.

I had a nice time with the kids yesterday. Cartoons didn't end up coming but the other kids had fun. They got to play in the back yard in the afternoon. They slid down the slide, took turns playing on the swings.  Curious and Cubbie playing more together and Boy and Second sharing their space.  The afternoon was very nice, almost didn't need their coats, but all wore them. I went to CAKLS and we share a  birthday with the head Librarian, she got lots of well wishes, card and gift.  She turned 62 but no one would ever know that, she is a lovely person and has a natural beauty.  We had a large group show up and Lady made a wonderful pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese frosting.  A wonderful time was had by all.  I returned and Mokie was home, we took the kids out to play in the goat pen, and Poppie had brought one of the new does home, he and the Professor still have to catch two more to have them all home.  The one he brought home was Booboos new Glenda, (as in the good witch), her twin will be Gladys, Yogie's named after my grandmother, she would have loved having a fine goat named after her. The kids had a blast, Saddie Sue chased all the new goats that would run from her. Curious petted goats with joy, Cubbie captured one of the littlest ones and wouldn't let it go, but it finally escaped.  The joy of fall was upon us all.

We went to the open house at the school last night.  I talked with friends, ate dinner in the lunch room with friends and chatted with people we don't always see except at the open house every year. The dinner was the usual pulled pork, choice of salad and a cookie.  Booboo ate all of hers right up, Yogie picked as is normal.  We all finished up and went down to the class rooms.  Signed up for teachers conferences.  Yogie's teacher was not there yesterday so we just got to visit her room.  We got to meet the bearded dragon, Harry, and the class fish, Pebbles.  I had never seen a bearded dragon up close and found him to be cute, not that I wanted to hold him or anything, as he was snake like, but cute.  He had  funny holes for ears, Very interesting.  We continued on down the hall to Booboo's class, her teacher, Mrs, Cooper was there, she is always such a delight.  Booboo showed us her desk, her big red dog that she made, shared the photos from the field trip to our farm with us.  All in all a great night, a wonderful event for our little community............. tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Houseful of kids today, I pray for the peace and simplicity of playing children.

Today I will have a houseful of kids, Cubbie, Curious, Cartoons, Second and after pre-school Boy , I think that is the tally we will see, so a busy morning.  It will be a loud morning of little girls playing, Cartoons sits and watches his cartoons and rarely makes a peep but sometime he joins in.  They vary in age from mid two to five so a good range of attention spans. They all communicate well regardless of the extend of their verbal skills, all know what the other is saying so it is fun to watch them interact.  I rarely have to break up a fight, but it does happen, generally they squabble a little and one or the other gives in so no serious altercations.  I don't let them bully each other,  Nothing worse than a bully, but a true natural bully rarely exists, they are usually made.   If an altercation occurs that Nannie has to fix both combatants get one of Nannie's loooong talks, no one wants to have a second long talk with Nannie; she asks questions and expects answers of why the behavior occurred again.  Nannie can be a big task master for a toddler,  can you imagine having to pick up all the toys, by yourself, for punishment or fate of all fates having to stand in the corner and not even get to watch the fun the others are having.  Nope not many disagreements at Nannie's, she might even correct you when Mom and Dad are there and that would be horrible.

I hope for the peace of being allowed to be left alone, and live ours lives in peace, comes today.  Yesterday was nice, but for the nasty little comments on my blog, all would have been lovely, spam is such a nice button. Poppie and I burned, raked, hid from the rain, and enjoyed the fall weather.  Lovely sunshine and pouring rain with moments of mist and drizzle.  Mokie, the kids and I played in the goat pen with the goaties.  The two new goats run when Saddie Sue chases them, so of course, she chases them to her hearts content.  The other goats look on with, what I think is, mirth in their eyes.  They stand and chew their cuds as if the shake their heads.  Yogie and I feed the little piggies threw the wall of their pen, their is a hole where we hand the grain through to their feed dish so we don't have to crawl over the fence and let the naughty grain eating goats in.  We have to tip the bucket a little and a tiny bit falls on the ground, so the two Queen goats, Cleo and Lilly, fight over who will get the tiny bit of barley, but no more invasions into the pen that scares the little piglets.  There is no grain in the outer pen of the piglet pen so no more incentive for the Queens to jump in and have to be gotten out.  We built the pig pen in the middle of the goat pen on purpose, so that if they get out they are in the goat pen and not really out, a little more work with the goats but so nice not to have them really out in the open and not in a pen.

The girls are getting their cereal with laughter so a nice morning of no grumpisaurous's, some days their is growling in my kitchen from the beast but he did not appear today, a nice thing.  Coffee to drink, the warmth of a fire to take in and the melody of little girls eating and chatting..... tomorrow.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Piggie moving a trip to be sure, some didn't like it and some were really mad.

We started moving piglets in the morning.  Poppie fed them slop from the kitchen, and garden wastes, still being pulled from the garden.  They started in on their feast and Poppie reached over and caught one by a back foot.  They don't usually squeal when caught that way.  No noise and he handed one to me, he caught a second one and we were off to walk them over to the new pen.  The trip was uneventful and short.  We caught two more that way, Yogie came forward and carried one.  The process was pretty straight forward then Swiss Miss Chops figured out what we were doing.  She no longer could be tricked by food.  She started placing her body between them and Poppie.  We finally manage to get all but three piglets out of the pen.  She was pretty upset so we left her with them and started doing yard work intending to retry later in the afternoon. 

Cleo and Caesar both jump in to the new piglet pen to steal their grain.  We had to remove them and tie up Caesar.  Cleo was put in a different pen but the usually incapable of jumping doe climbed the fence and returned to the harassing the piglets.  I finally locked her in the barn.  She was upset and pounded the door with her horns.  I later let her out.  We had to put the food in the little piglet cabin and put a sheet of plywood over the door so only the little piglets could get in to keep the goats from jumping into the pen and stealing the grain.  Grain is like candy to a goats and they are like little kids that don't know when enough is enough. They can bloat from eating very much grain but have no restrain in stealing it so have to be protected from themselves. 

We burned and did yard work.  Mokie had to call 911 when the neighbors turned there music up so loud that we couldn't hear our own TV two acres over.  A officer came, music turned down and then ceased. Son helped Poppie catch the last three piglets, Swiss Miss Chops was very angry with all of us.  We got the last three piglets away and she screamed for about a half an hour and got upset every time she heard one squeak.  Poppie checked them before dark and three of the little ones manage to get out and run back to momma's pen, they couldn't decide to stay with her or go back to their siblings. The three little pigs ran back and forth in indecision, sounds like a nursery rhyme. 

I am at peace this morning and spent several hours in prayer during the night, God gave me comfort and strength to go on.  He reassured me that anger is not the answer, as no one deserves the right to control another person by their own anger, it is a lesson I have well and truly learned this year and am glad to be free of a mind numbing monster that it can be.  I am ready for the happiness and gladness this day will bring, God has blessed my life and no one can take that away from me.... tomorrow.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Ministers in my life, not one of them wasn't forth right, and all introduce himself.

I have had the pleasure of knowing many Preachers, others use the term Pastor, Priest or Chaplain, we just called them Brother or Preacher.  My Grandfather Jim, my Great Uncle Lowel and my Uncle Delbert were all preachers, my father preached alot of sermons and married a great many of his grandchildren never called himself Preacher but is a fine one. I have fond memories of each and everyone of these fine men.  One of the finest is how forth right they were, not one of these men would not walk right up to you and introduce himself with humility.  He wanted you to know who you were talking to and wanted to know who he was talking to as well.  None of them would have hid behind anonymity, or would have not signed his name to a comment he would have made.  None of them would have admonished me with vulgarity and rudeness. None of them would have had the time to read my daily blog, found it mean spirited or bullying and waited nearly 300 pages in to decide out of no where to take me to task for perceived lies or falsehood.  They, like any real preacher, would have talked to me in a civil loving manner and asked me why I had written different things and when would have prayed with me if they felt I was out of line.  None of them would have anonymously made a comment of meanness and then not bothered to sign their work.  So imagine my surprise when just that happened to me today, I would guess that the TRO I have was violated in more ways than one.  I think my father put it best, "it is a pointless endeavor to have a battle of wits with a mental midget"..... thank you though for the lovely trip down memory you brought on of the real preachers in my life.  It is too funny how some people are...

My Grandfather Jim was a hard working man, he was a CCC in the 1930 and helped build Fort Peck dam and reservoir.  He was a wonderful father to his 8 children, he worked hard all his life and Preached on Sundays, and as the Old Style Church of Christ did, never took a dime for the Preaching he did.  He and my grandmother Gladys went to Samoa in 1969 he filed saws for a saw mill there and did missionary work there in his spare time.  He came back after five years, brought home a beloved Samoan son in law and his brother who became their foster child.  He endure the 5 years of my Grandmothers terminal cancer with all the love a husband has for his wife.  He could be a hard man but he was a loving honest man. He lived about five years after my grandmother died in 1978.

My Uncle Lowel was a missionary in Red China from 1928 to 1948 when the Chinese threw them out of China with eveyone else. Several or all of his and my Aunt Odessa's children were born there.  He studied hard to learn to speak mandarin Chinese.  He tried to give his first sermon, after having learned the language, and was trying to say the lord's pray but mistakenly told the people "he left his pants in the field" instead.  He soon mastered the language and never made that mistake again.  He did some work for the state department at the time but that was kept confidential at the time.  He loved China and spoke of it with longing the rest of his life,  he told of the good and the cruelty he had witnessed.  He died several years ago at 98 and my aunt Odessa died a year ago last spring at just short of 100, fine God fearing missionaries their whole lives.

My father, I have spoken of many times, is a humble Godly man.  My uncle Delbert became a preacher but never preached much after going to preaching school, I think in the end it was so much different than his belief, that all brothers could get up and speak on a given Sunday, that his heart was never in it again.  He like my father has worked hard all his life and is a God fearing and God loving man.  He has raised large family of kids, grand kids and great grand kids.

To close I will not dishonor the loving and memories of any of these fine men by putting them in the same class with a falsified preacher from and ambiguous church that would make derogatory remarks on my little blog and as the moderator of this blog I will not subject you to it's vile message..... tomorrow.

Drama Queen and Goofy, both special people in my life, as well, as my mom.

Drama Queen was always a child that liked to make things happen.  When she was little she couldn't wait to see what she could stir up. She always had a smile and a glint in  her eye, she hasn't changed one iota in all of her years.  I have a picture of her sitting on an ice cream churn giggling as Red turned the handle I think that is probably my most favorite photo of her.  Drama Queen is my sister and only she would understand the complicated relationship we have always had.   I chose Drama Queens name at a time in my life when we were not speaking but to tell the truth I wouldn't change her name if I gave her her code name today. She is the Drama Queen of my life and I have to love and respect her for that, maybe the rest of us sister's needed her antics to keep us on our toes. I do love her and she knows it.

Goofy is my beloved oldest daughter and we share a 30 year love that only a mother and daughter would understand.  Goofy has never questioned my love for her and me hers for me.  She and I have a relationship that has weathered things that most mothers and daughters never face.  She gave me two of my most special gifts and she has never questioned the love I have for her for her ability to love in a way I could not have done.  She knows what I mean and I have told her so on more than one occasion.  I love her and she knows it.

I am my mothers oldest child. She and I have had our ups and downs as mother and daughters do.  She has always loved me and I her, in ways that others find odd or not up to their liking; but as my mother and I have a special relationship it is none of anyone elses business.  I have stated that I write this blog for my kids, grand kids and that is my main goal, I have never said anything in this blog that my family doesn't know about or is not aware of.  My blog is a search of the questions of life, a learning process in many ways cathartic, so judging my life with the limited words in a blog is not what this blog was ever about or is selling anything.  The selling pages have been requested by my readers and nothing more. I kind of think that anyone that didn't get that is not readying the blog or is jealous of a family that has had as many problems and still loves each other with the intensity that I do my family.  I am sad for anyone who missed the love of a family like mine, I wouldn't be me without them and they wouldn't be them with out me.  Family is the one of the most important things in my life. I love mine and know beyond a doubt mine loves me, one and all, they know me at my worst and love me even then. They know that I speak without lies and sometimes in ways people find blunt but they never have to question what I was thinking as I already said it to their faces never slanderously behind their backs..... tomorrow

Piggies to move this morning. Yard work, I do so love the fall.

We finished the pig pen retouch. We picked up two of the three goat babies that we were to get from Herbalist's house.  One hid under the feeder and we couldn't get him out but will pick him up next time. The Professor broke his finger several weeks ago and it is not healing well so he has been encouraged to reduce his herd a little more.  We will be making a deal on two more doelings, a little older than Dolly and the withers we picked up.  They are more the age of the ones the cougar killed so it will be good way to replace some of the ones we lost, they are diary so not exactly the Boars we lost but a good deal anyway.  We are going to catch piggies this morning and move them across the goat pen to the piglet pen.  The kids will get to help so they should have fun, I think they will have fun helping carry them, piglet are very strong so they may not be able to carry them, we'll see.

Worked on the yard yesterday, have some burning to do today, and winterizing.  The firewood is nearly all chopped still have some to go get but that is the fun part of fall.  Hunting season started yesterday so we have to be careful of the hunters out there.  The sawing usually keeps them away but it is still something to consider when going. We can't wait because it will snow in the mountains soon and hamper getting it to far up in the woods. All in all the fall is going wonderful in the privacy of our home, the outside stuff is a bit hard right now, but with good friends and family we are getting on.

I think the hardest part of this is trying to teach my children that strangers aren't the only danger to them.  They asked why adults are allowed to lie about them and I have no answers to that.  How is it that you can teach your child it has to be honest, do the right thing and tell the truth, expect that of them; then an adult comes along lies to them, about them and stalks them, they don't understand why, I guess neither do I. What is the world coming to that the strangers you have to teach them about is an acquaintance of theirs and is as much a danger to them as the strangers they don't know.  Hard times to be a child, in this day and age, I knew that, but why is it that harmful people like this keep moving into our little Montana towns I do wish they had stayed where they come from and leave our towns at peace.  I do so like the normal people that move in but more and more our small town is becoming a place for the stranger and criminal elements, so sad...... tomorrow.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Today we will go mushrooming, fix the piggie pen and move piglets to new digs.

My thoughts this morning were wondering and God sent me to these two verses, they were so needed to show me that faith and patience will over come the evil, that stalks and harasses us, God will protect us and our families in this time of need. I said a prayer for Gods guidance and blessing.  I am sharing the verses as they consoled me and I thought they might you as well.

Philippians 4:6   Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Proverbs 19:9  A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish,

The front room is filled to the brim with grand kids.  Buga has a wrapped foot with stitches.  The little might is always so accident prone, she cut her foot on the heater vent at home a couple days ago.  She is a trooper and hasn't slowed down a bit, just hobbles on her little foot to keep up.  I will be getting them up before long and we will be starting the day.  Pancakes and eggs for everyone.  Yogie will probably want to cook, she loves to especially when she can show off a little, and who better to show off to but your cousins. 

We will drop the grand kids off later in the morning, take Herbalist's grain out to her.   We are going to pick up the Kubota to bring home and do some clean up with it before Poppie returns it to his friend Thor.  We are hoping to finish piglet proofing the pig pen and move the piglets away from their momma this morning too.  I can hear the squealing now, I am not sure whether the kids or the piglets will be the loudest.  I am sure all will have fun in the end.

We were going to go fire wooding but are to tired so may just go mushrooming just to get out and have a peaceful calm afternoon of togetherness.  I can't think of a better place to enjoy God's blessing and love than in the woods.  I know that the woods are a cathedral in their own right.  We are going to go and commune with the Lord........... tomorrow.  

Friday, October 21, 2011

Girls to play with their cousins, Poppie and I off to get maybe 2 ton of grain.

The girls had a wonderful day counting puppies.  The soft gray dust puffed up around them like a soft mist as they crawled under the shed.  Yogie in the lead, Booboo bring up the rear with the light.  They found the puppies is a dusty pile.  They wiped off the dust and determined there were 4 females and 1 males.  Two mostly white and 3 with badger markings.  Herbalist was excited beyond happiness at her babies.  The girls crawled out and stacked wood, Herbalist's youngest son had stacked the wood but had not stacked it all the way to the top so only littles could reach where the wood needed to be stacked.  They were troopers and wore out after awhile.  I helped them once part of the first row was moved and I could get in and hand wood to them.  They both worked hard and each earned 10 dollars, they each bought a special lunch at the deli and had a little extra to put in the money cubbie.  Once the firewood was stacked the girls crawled back into the puppies and brought them out to be taken to the new home Herbalist and I had fashioned.  The momma dog took to the new home and seemed to think it was grand digs, and didn't try to take the puppies back under the shed.  A wonderful day, and time, had with special friends.

The girls are going to go spend the afternoon with Eldest, M and Buga while we go and get grain.  We were originally going for one ton, but Herbalist wants us to pick up an additional 10 fifty pound bags, Son wants us to pick up and additional ton so will have to take the trailer to accommodate all the grain.  It is about a 60 to 70 mile trip so not a big trip but we will have a lot of weight so a slow trip.  The piggies will enjoy the grain.  We are going to move them so we can put in a full time feeder, the momma only eats about 6 lbs a day and she would over eat if we left them in the same pen. She is getting testy with them so it is time for them to move anyway.  She is a very good momma but doesn't have patience for them once they no longer really need her.  They currently sneak out of her pen and run around the goat pen rooting up old goat piles and roots.  The have actually done some nice clean up where the goats have wasted hay.  They won't like being confined but will like the constant feed and begin to fatten up on their way to being market pigs and adults. Off to start a busy day, have great Friday.... tomorrow.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

A day off from school, puppies to count, and wood to stack, peace and tranquility.

This morning we are all going to out friends out a Lozeau they have a great Pyrenees female that just had puppies,  They bought her this spring and she had been an abused dog, so she has taken awhile to warm up to some people.  She really likes Poppie and never has a problem with him, of course she likes her new family.  She likes Yogie and some time makes a little noise at Booboo.  She and the other new male have always just come up and put their heads under my hand as I walk along and I have never really paid attention to them so I guess never alarmed her.  She sometimes won't let people out of their cars when they come to visit and the person in the car needs escorted into our friend's homes. She decided to crawl way under the shed in the crawl space, which is very small, to have her puppies and no one can see the puppies or get near them.  Our friends 27 year old son tried, got stuck and couldn't get under the shed and got growled at.  They have asked that we bring out the girls, as the dog knows them, to crawl under and check out the puppies; count  them and maybe count boys or girls.  They are going to chain the momma up so the girls will not be in any danger from her.  The girls can't wait to crawl in the dirt and count puppies

Our friends also want to have the girls stack firewood further back in the crawlspace under their house, so they are also excited to do that as well. Our friends are always generous with them when they do chores for them.  So it will be a win win, stacked wood and pocket change to spend.  I will go along to chat with my friend and maybe instruct the wood stacking.  Poppie will Kubota a little and then we will be on our way home, We have a pig pen to line with chicken wire as Sunday we are moving the piglets to their new home. Momma pig will have a short rest from them and then be taken over to be bred. We also have a peacock and turkey run to make, so a busy day or maybe couple days planned. We have to go get grain as well and some more firewood to get before winter. Off to wake up the ladies for their fun filled day,  the peace and tranquility of just being a family with no pressure, priceless..... tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Thank the Lord for quiet uneventful mornings, I do so like the privacy of my life.

I love my friends and most of them know that I am an extremely private person.  I don't like the drama of people knowing about my private comings and goings.  I love for people to visit the little farm and share my animals, the joy of watching a child experience a baby animal for the first time is priceless.  I love to have people in my home, and most people who know and love me, know I am as scatter brained a house keeper as I am an artist.  I am a hoarder, by alot of peoples standards, but I hoard craft supplies and things to create with not like the hoarders on TV.  I probably could open a store to the general public at any given moment.  I call my studio my "safety deposit box"  I can and do create thinks at the drop of a hat.  If any one offers me crafting supplies I take them regardless of what they are, I will use them in the future and am happy to have them.   I also believe that the people that come to see my house are not there as my friends they are there to judge so probably won't be ask back, if they didn't come to see me they weren't my friend in the first place.  I don't believe I have the right to subject my standard or lack of standard of house keeping on others and they don't have the right to subject me with theirs.  I do live by the standard of "my house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy".  Sadly I know alot of people with beautifully clean houses that don't have happy children, they don't have happy lives but they have immaculately clean houses.  My life is not about how much cleaner I can use in a day, a week or a month.  I don't always have time to do the dusting, it is simply not as important as knowing about what my kids did at school today, what their dreams are or having them read their favorite book to me.  I know that some will disagree but that is ok, they get to chose how they live their lives.  All I really ask it for the right to live my life with the same right and freedom to choose. 

I am here with Cartoons, he is watching his cartoons, he only gets to watch the educational ones here so we are both happy.  Mokie is off to Zootown, with family, to have a sonogram and Dr appointment,  Poppie is taking Bug for an MRI on his knee, the pain is worse and the problem seems to be growing.  They may have to do surgery on the knee again.  I will have two little girls later, maybe Curious and possible Number Two after pre-school. I plan on knitting after, I start the dishwasher and the washing machine.  Mokie wants a baby sac with a hole in it for the car seat.  I have one almost done but that one is a surprise and she brought me yarn yesterday so I will make that one in front of her.  Similar but different patterns, all from my cluttered mind.  I am going to be having a baby shower for her next month, her theme is Minnie Mouse,  I think it will end up being an intimate shower, family and a few close friends.  I have lots of plans to get finished and invites sent out.  Her baby was to be born on the 9th of December but the Dr is going to be on vacation that day so the C-section has been pushed back to the 12.  Funny her kids will have the 10, 11, and 12, different months, as birthdays.  Off to finish my coffee and stack the dishwasher..... tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

No perfect kids here, Just loved, enjoyed faulty ones!

I was never a perfect child, no my mom did not raise even one perfect child.  I don't really think that they exist, except for Jesus no one lived or lives a perfect life.  I do know that the going trend of the baby boomers has been to raise perfect children that never did any thing wrong, they never did any of the things their piers did and they always did the right thing and etc.....  I don't know how they were the one and only perfect child in the pier group when a lot of the parents in that pier group thought they raised that singularly perfect specimen of human being.  Really?  I again was never perfect, I may have had a perfect moment but I was rarely praised for doing the right thing, that was expected behavior.  I didn't get praise for doing the chores that were my part of the family responsibilities.  I didn't get praise for contributing to the family on a meaningful level that was what we were taught to do.  I guess I raised my older kids along those same line so I was not much into the baby boomer philosophy.  I am now raising kids in the same generation, as the children of the baby boomers, and still I am not raising any extraordinary perfect kids.  I do praise them for a job well done, join them in the chores, the learning and the failures along the way.

I am raise wonderfully balanced little girls that make mistakes all the time, they are human beings with the frailty of all humanity.  I feel no need to put the kind of pressure on my children that being perfect would put upon them.  I see it all the time,  I think that the rise in bullying in our nation can be partially contributed right back to the parents of that perfect child, their kids are either the victim of that bullying or one of the bullies.  Victims because they can't go to their parents for help as that would make them not perfect in their parents eyes.  The bully because they see no other way to keep the perfect view their parents have of them and the pressure makes them take it from others.  The child that commits suicide because no one can be perfect and they eventually just give up and stop trying, they are never going to be good enough to be perfect anyway. I do know there are other reasons for bullying and suicide but I do strongly feel this is one of the reasons, as well, and often over looked or nay sayed.  I think that seeing your child for what they are, allowing them to talk to you about where they are going, what they have done or why they want to try something gives them the support to make the right choices and not be broken by the unobtainable belief that any one child could be perfect, even in Mom and Dad eyes.  They need the love of a parents that want a healthy faulty special child.  I am so thankful my mom raised not even one perfect child, I have never tried and God knows none of mine have come close, I thank him everyday for their warts, their good behaviour and that they love me one and all.... tomorrow.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Fog, rain, sunshine and two cords of wood, and we only cut down two trees.

We got a slow start to getting firewood yesterday. The grandkids had come and the kids were all camped out on the front room floor.  Buga had had a nap late in the afternoon so was up late finally falling asleep in around 11ish.  We got them up around 7:30ish and I made them pancakes.  Surprise of surprises M was the first one done, followed by Buga and then the older kids.  We decided that with the fog and the rain we would see if Mokie and family would like the kids to come and spend the day with them.  We took the new trailer and knew it would take all day to fill it as it will hold around 2 cords flat, no heaping.  We finally made it to the top of the mountain around 11ish.  Poppie cut down the first tree, one I had spotted a week or so ago.  It was huge.  It came down with no problems and slide to the road where we could pull it with our small chain.  I cleaned the broken branches off of the road while Poppie walked over to the second tree. It was huge too but a little shorter with a split top.  Poppie cut into it and used his wedges to help tip it forward a little as it was leaning back a little.  The tree was so heavy that the wedges didn't want to pound in with the small pounding hammer.  I threw him the splitting maul and he came down the hill to get it,  it took awhile as walking up mountains is one of the hardest things Poppies does, actually walking at all for any distance is hard on him.  He walked back up and pounded in the wedges still the tree wouldn't fall.  Poppie had to cut on the tree more, ended up cutting out the front of the tree and it still would not move to fall.  It was actually being held in the air with two spots of wood on both edges of about 3x3 inches.  Poppie had never had that happen before.  He thinks the split tops were so well balanced the tree was literally stand in the air by balance.  He finally took a stick and pounded it in above the wedge and the giant tree crashed to the ground.  The tree took over 45 minutes to fall.  We had both trees on the ground by about 12;20.  Poppie came down the hill and we put a chain on the bigger giant and pulled it on the the roadway.  Poppie took a rest and then we started cutting blocks, Poppie cutting and I stacked them to the side of the road so if anyone came up the road they would be able to pass.  I didn't start stacking the trailer as we knew we would have to pull the second tree.  We cut over 70 blocks from the one tree it measured over a 100 feet tall. Beautiful wood, and a wonderful find as it was so easy to get.  We chained up the second tree and Poppie pulled it down, it was amazing it came down one of the broken tips of it's double top slid to a rest with a resounding hollow thud.  It came to a rest on the top of all of the 70 blocks,  we couldn't have done that had we tried.  I was laughing so hard Poppie had to stop the pickup to see why.  There the second giant sat on a row of wood blocks all ready to cut, and as it was 16 inches off the ground, it would not hurt Poppie to bend over to cut them, and there would be not danger of sawing into the ground.  We got all of the 45 minutes of time back and then some.  We cut and stacked all of the would and were on the way home by 4 which was truly a blessing.  Poppie and I had a nice time, good hard work, time to be alone and talk of our lives and just talk of the nothingness that couples will.  We were home by 5 and sore. 

I took off my shoe when I got home and my foot began to swell up, it was very bruised.  Poppie was a little upset and asked what happened to my foot.  I told him a block rolled on it.  He said, "when the block roll after you get out of the way next time"  I said "it wasn't rolling after me I chase it and stopped it with my foot so I didn't lose it over the edge of the mountain"  He growled and said "don't do that again just step back and wave at is as it goes by, a block of wood is not worth getting hurt for"  I think Poppie has more right to say that than about any one, most of us never have to experience having had a tree fall on you and he respects the wood more than most now..... tomorrow.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Do you have a God consciousness? I think we all do, I know I always have, who is it?

I have said before that I have always known God in my life.  I have always been really bad at remembering that God is three distinct different beings that are all one.  I sometime have a problem separating God the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  I just normally talk to God.  I do know that in reality that I can't talk to God the Father without going through Jesus, but in my heart I always just talk to God.  I have not always had a real good understanding of who the Holy Spirit is and have sadly not been much concerned with my lack of knowledge.  I have been reading and trying to understand who the Holy Spirit is and what is he in my life.  I am amazed to find that after reading many versus and studying the bible.  He is my dear counselor and has always been an important part of my life, I just didn't call him by his really name I just called him God.  I found that the Holy Spirit is the best gift that Jesus ever gave us, other than his sacrifice on Calgary and his life for ours.  When Jesus ascended he was to stay and be our advocate, our companion, our God consciousness, our voice that seeks the truth in God, our indwelling presence of God.   He inhabits our personal temple of God.  I had always dismissed the Holy Spirit, due to lack of understand, and now with his help I have a whole new understand of the Holy Spirit and a need to seek out more knowledge of him.  I think that is one of his most important jobs in my life and he has chosen now to bring out that need in me.  What a wonderful new journey in the Lord I am taking, it is always amazing to me how you can read the bible and each time God, I know now, the Holy Spirit, guides you to new truths and revelations, new passages that are important in the moment.  The best guide and teacher to the bible is the Holy Spirit, I have always known it just never knew him by name.  I had always just opened the bible and knew that God would send me where I needed to go.  Now I have a new name for the presence in  my conscious and know who guides my heart and soul from with in, the Holy Spirit.... tomorrow. 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Rain coming down, the quiet of the morning melody is always calming.

Disclaimer: The sheriff's office served a Temporary order of Protection yesterday, on the neighbors, we as a family, Sister, Mokie and I went to the Justice court and got the order.  We will still have to go to court for a Permanent order but this one will atleast help us be safe.  This will be my last comment on my neighbors as they are not worth my time and I want them to leave us alone.  The order does say they can't contact us or have contact with us online so legally they, or their third party acquaintance,  will no longer be harassing my blog if they obeys the law.  Thank you all for you patience with my drama, I will no longer subject you to the sordidness of it.

The rain in drumming down on the vent in my master bathroom, it is a soothing melodic sound, a welcome song after a sleepless night.  The car passing by on the road drums a bass into the symphony.  Poppie's snoring adds a lyrical aspect and almost a chorus. I love the morning, no problems yet on your plate, the crisp lights shinning out into the dark. Peace is in the air and all possibilities are still on the table. God gives us a moment of meditation, such a wonderful gift. 

Due to the rain we will probably not be going to get firewood this morning. The girls and I played upword last night, we don't play for points we play for fun and the joy of learning new words. We are going to clean their carpets this morning, got their rooms all ready for the team work to come.  We are going to make soap and maybe cookies and have a much needed girlie day. 

I got notification yesterday that I got into the Christmas MADE Fair, I do hope I do well.  I think that my upcycled items will do better in the winter as many of them are made from wool. Our soaps will be all aged and at their peak.  I may sell a few of my lotions, creams and facial cleanser, I am having good feedback on them. 

I purchased the girls a yoga kinect game yesterday.  They have been attending AWANA's at a local church and are very studious and doing well.  I think that it calls to their souls.  They have decided since yoga has been changed this year to the same time as AWANA's to for go yoga, which they love, so I am hoping the three of us can do yoga at home.  I have said before we would like to go to church in our community and not outside of it.  I think that we have decided that the Community Church is where we will go eventually.  I don't know that I will ever have a true comfort there, so that is why I hesitate to go, but I can allow it to be the place of comfort for my girls spiritual needs and journey with God.  It is similar in style to the Church I was raised in it is just that the Church I was raised in is really no longer the Church I was raised in. The Church made many changes in the seventies and most of the Churches changed with it, I just happened to being in one of the old style Churches that stayed like the old fellowship and it is now gone.  I am really to old to change my core beliefs but not to old to help my girls grow in theirs and still be in line with what I believe... tomorrow.

Friday, October 14, 2011

I hope today brings back the calm of fall, had a couple of long tiring days.

Spent yesterday with Cubbie, Boy and Curious, they played puzzle but unlike my girls their way of playing puzzle mostly consists of putting it from one box to the other.  The two playing it were both two so maybe their game was better for them in the long run. They were mostly learning how to share and be good friends.  They played dolls and how to share Nannie's lap as well.  One is very verbal and the other is learning so they are learning to help one another on levels they do not understand.  I like to see when they have actual conversations that don't include adults and they are doing it more and more.

It is to rain later so that and the fact that I have to be here to help with the kids have again delayed my trip to get pig grain and see my friend Twin.  Next week is to be nice and warm so maybe that is the best choice all around. Planning on getting wood in the morning, not sure who all will be going or who will be staying home.  Funny never can tell who chooses to do which, just when you think they don't want to stack firewood they have decided that they are Queens of it and stack like champs on a mission. They are very good at it usually and have a bit of OCD in making sure no hole is left unfilled. It is supposed to be raining in the afternoon so we hope to get a nice load before the rain starts coming down to strongly.

I am hoping that the peace I felt on Tuesday soon returns its is hard to be stressed and scared long term but hopefully today brings God blessings and peace........... tomorrow.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Bullying a sad reality in our society, have had the sad talk with my girls.

I watched the news this morning and on Monday Sesame Street will address the topic of bullying.  I am glad that they will explore this subject on a level that children can understand and hopefully the adults sharing the program, with their child, will help their child understand the ramifications of bulling. Maybe more importantly they will be vigilant for it and help their children not be victims. My girls and I have often talked about bulling, being one and being the victim of bulling. I know some people say,"it has always happened and the kids just have to toughen up",  Yes it has always happened but it wasn't any more right then than it is now.  Children should be able to not be victimized at school or in their societal group.  I have explained to the girls that you can be the one voice that says, "this is not ok" it only takes one person to stand up and say "no" so that other kids will be brave enough to say they agreed that "it is not right".  I have taught them to go to an adult that they trust.  I have also had to explain to them that their are inappropriate adults that try to play sneaky games that are not right.  I have tried to teach them to "turn their nose and toes and walk away" from bad situations and if the person continues after them scream for help, make a ruckus and don't let anyone take you anywhere with out making a scene.  I don't ever recall having had that conversation with my mother, sadly we didn't need it back then. 

I think as parents we have a responsibility to teach our children their family values.  We, as their parents, have the unique privilege to teach them their values, family traditions, philosophies and religious beliefs.  No one has the right to go behind our back and or whisper that we are making the wrong decisions to or for our children's lives.  I do still believe that in America everyone has the right to the privacy of their home and the lives that we lead in them.  We are asked to not do harm to others and only when we cross that line is it anyone else's business how we live our lives or what goes on in our homes.... tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Friends are a gift from God, I didn't know how many people loved me and how blessed I truly am.

Some of you are aware, or maybe most of you are aware of my situation with my neighbor, I just didn't know how many of you loved and cared about me and my family.  I was overwhelmed by the love that so many of you showed me the last view days during this time of extended family trial.  I am truly a loved person and you all will never know how your love and kindness has and is pulling me through this.  I would like you all, that love and care about me, to know how grateful and honored I am to have you in my life.

I think that as a mostly reclusive person my neighbor underestimated my connection in this town.  She didn't realize that I am number one related to half the county, well maybe not quite,  She also didn't know that just because I am not out to dinner, having you to dinner or partying all the time with you, my friends, I didn't have any. I don't think it came to her that friendship can be a subtle and quiet thing, that has nothing to do with who does or doesn't come to my house daily, weekly or in the short six months she has been my neighbor.  She didn't know that just because she didn't see you come over, she watches out her window upstairs and down at Mokie and my houses. (I just happen to have a whole front set of window that open on the road or I wouldn't see her coming and going at all.)  She actually has to go to the side of her house, behind the stairway to watch us or the top of that stairway, my mom built the house so I know it well. Mokie can't even feel comfortable in her own backyard and has had to move her picnic table to the other side of the house for privacy. Today is the last day I will bother you all with her sad stalking tales but will still be posting anything she says to me in print, for my family and my protection.  Today I am taking your advise and seeking protection, legally. I just couldn't do it on my birthday, she didn't have the right to ruin my day.

Thanks again one and all for the love and kindness,  I truly didn't know how much I am loved,  I guess living in one town for nearly 32 years brings familiarity and familiarity breeds love on a broad scope.  I do hope to be there, to return the love to all of you in your time of need, as you have for me. Thank you for making my birthday one of my best, even in a time of strife...... tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

51, a new adventure in life, heart felt love from friends and that is all the really maters.

I started my day with breakfast a lovely treat from Lady, she took me out and we had a wonderful time and got a much needed talk and time together.  Poppie stayed home from his friends to spend the day with me, he is such a love sometimes and always just a dolly to have with me and in my corner.  Mokie and the kids came by to wish Nannie well wishes.  My other to kids called with love. My siblings sent me well wishes. The Crazy neighbor lady came by to take pictures of us from the end of the driveway but even she could not ruin my lovely day.  I went to CAKLS and my friends all wished me well, Lady made a super yummy blackberry cobbler with cream or ice cream, I loved it just plain and wonderful. We had a wonderful time sharing secrets and time together. Sunday School Teacher gave me the nicest candle, which I am enjoying right now.  I am having a beautiful day, simple with the love of my friends and family.

The girls are going to make me a pineapple upside down cake and Poppie is going to make steaks, squash and potatoes for dinner.  Today has truly been a blessing from God, I am on the second half of my life, well and truly now; never happier with the life I lead and the friends that I have acquired along the way.  Those who care about me are loved and cared about by me in return those that don't like my company have gone on to bigger and better things.  I am too old for the pettiness of young adulthood and to young to have lost all of my hearing and sight, so life it good.  God has given me a clean new day and a clean new year to write my life story upon.  I pray all remember to make theirs an epic adventure, mine is by my standards and since it is my life my choice is the only one that counts.  May your clean new year be filled with the joy I hope to bring to mine......... tomorrow.

Monday, October 10, 2011

The simple family life is a choice, as I suppose is a life at warp speed.

I have never been a person who wanted or needed much. I can't say for sure that I could even make a bucket list with 50 items on it.  I think of things I want to do and can't seem to really find anything pressing that I would like to do or want to do that I haven't done.  I find that on the whole I am a content person. I think that alot of people would look at me, if they saw me, and take pity on me.  I don't have fancy clothes, I have never really been to far afield and have no dreams to explore really.  I could see where some would think how sad my life is and has been in their opinion.  I on the other hand am completely at ease with who I am, what I have and where my life it going. I have no major unfulfilled dreams, I can't say I know all that many people in that place in their lives.  Maybe I am lazy, maybe I am just boring or maybe I am just happy with my simple family life.

I see people that scrape and save to go wonderful places, and return so dissatisfied with their fulfillment of their long awaited dream.  Give me a creek, 10 miles up the rode from my house, and I could very well have travelled to a far away place for all the joy I receive in the going.  I don't see why joy can't be found in your back yard, a creek is a creek and why would going 100 miles make it better? I think the statistic, that majority of people that have ever lived on this earth have never travelled more than 20 miles from where they were born is in funny, and somehow very comforting.  I have traveled more than that distance I think that due to the automobile in modern society more and more people have traveled more than 20 miles but the reality is that statistically the stat is still valid. I know the world still has millions of people that haven't even in this era.  In this modern age people have a need to be going somewhere, either in their working lives like upward and onward or to the ends of the world in travel. I think that that is what we are expected to do but I think that more people than we realize are like me happy in what their life is but maybe they are not expected to be so they don't say that they are.  When did it become less of a life to not want to conquer the world or live in the fast lane? 

I am content to be who I am and happy that my life is simple. I find it such an inconvenience when someone feels the need to make my life happier with their thoughts to how to change it so I can see the joy in what I am missing, basically their lives path, which is so much better than mine.  I truly don't want to change to their fast pace. I am not unaware of the life that is lead by others but feel no need for my children to be in that fast lane either, they can make that choice as adults.  I think giving them a simple good base serves them well, even in this warp speed gotta be their yesterday world. They will have good common sense and the sense of self to survive with out there when other people fill the need to fix my mothering.... tomorrow.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Childhood dreams can lead to many life paths, did you find yours? Where did it lead?

I remember always being a crafty person.  My mother is and she taught all of us kids the love of crafting.  For a long time as an adult I hated the term crafty, so many people us the term in a derogatory manner that it drove me crazy.  I wanted to be seen as an "artist" and it took many years of adulthood and maybe the wisdom of time to come to the reality that not all of the people thought crafty was an insult and certainly most of the people didn't mean it as an insult, so now I embrace crafty and artist as a compliment.  I am not a person that being complimented come easy too, I have learned to take them with grace now but it was a hard long road to get there. I am not crafty for accolades I am crafty because my soul cries out for it.  I am in many ways a type A personality, when it comes to figuring out how to do something or teaching someone how to make things I am passionate about.  I am not one of those people that if you asks for a recipe I won't give it to you, "heck, I would come over and teach you how to do it hoping you might teach me something new or exciting about it or together we make it better. " I have been blessed with the ability to make most anything or do anything I set my mind too.  I think it is because my dad never told us we couldn't do anything we worked hard to achieve, he never but it like "you can do anything with your life", it was more realistic than that he told us we could accomplish any passion we worked hard to achieve, I think there is a big difference.  I also think that most of us, in my family, were to naive to no we couldn't so just succeed in our ignorance. 

I always wanted to be an artist and have accomplished many things and many mediums as an artist.  I never question that I can't do something I just do it, usually the hard way or the long way, as I never had any money for lessons.  I now have the assistance of the Internet so it is much easier to self teach yourself now than it was 25 to 35 years ago,  whow how old that makes me.  YouTube is a crafters dream when it comes to needing to know how to make a stitch or learn a new fiber art, just push a button and you can learn anything.  Spinning here I come this winter.  But I digress.  I also had a dream of writing as a teenager.

I had two teachers in high school that I let in on my dream.  One had finally taught me to spell, I had learned to begin to read in kindergarten, not in the public school system, they didn't do that then.  I really am old.  The nice grandmotherly lady, who may have been a teacher at one time, I truly don't know, who I do know was a foster parent, had a small kindergarten she offered to the neighborhood kids.  I got to go, I think I am one of the few of my sibling that went to kindergarten, again they just didn't do it then and we moved before I went to first grade.  I learned how to read phonetically and I was told later by me sophomore English teacher that was the worst way to learn, not sure that is true as I think that is alot of how they do it now, but it was his opinion and I loved him.  He didn't actually like me that much, more like he put up with me.  He did take great pains in teaching me to spell, I am not saying I am ever going to be good at it but I can now get by.  Poppie and Yogie are great at it, they can spell anything.  They are regular spelling bee people, Poppie once won the local spelling bee and got to go up to the next step.  again I digress....

I decided in my sophomore year I was going to write the great American novel, well maybe novella, and become famous and become an author.  I can't write, I run my sentences together, us my commas wrong and chatter on about who knows what.  My teacher agreed to read my little novella and he used a red pen to help me,  it looked like a Christmas tree that had been lite when he got done with it.  I moved shortly after that to another school, the English teacher their was a dear, she agreed to read it, she was much more compassionate but I still couldn't write.  She did encourage me to keep trying.  The bottom line was that I didn't know anything about port (the alcohol), the 1930's dust bowl, child birth and death, or being a 6'6" single parent of a new born with a dead wife.  They didn't tell me in the simplest terms to write what you know, so now I am writing what I know and you are my victims, uh, readers. Thank you so much for putting up with my endeavors.  I do know about being a mom, a Nannie, an artist, a crazy goat lady, how to make things and cook, so thank goodness you are not having to read about a child's fantasy or what she things writing should be; but the reality of a simple boring life of one old girl that is getting older and hopefully wiser.... tomorrow. 

Quiet Sunday morning, the littles are at Grandpa's, alone time for Poppie and I.

We went and got wood yesterday, when we arrived at the top of the mountain we discovered Poppie had forgot the chainsaw, he had thrown in an old one but it was not a real option.  I offered to return home for the saw, I tried my cell, (yes, I have one, that I use about 600 minutes a year on), and had reception.  I called Mokie and she agreed to meet me in route.  We both drove to one another and she brought me that saw, due to her kindness in bringing the saw part way, the longer part as I was on a mountain road where 20 in speeding, which I did a little.  I was back and we were ready to cut in about 30 minutes.  We just started to saw, when she called, still had cell service, it is nice on the top of the mountain, just no service going down the mountain.  She advised that she found one of our friends boy's car rolled into the ditch.  She called their mom and they are ok, it had happened the night before.  We had both missed it going up the road as it was a small car and hidden by the bushes.  By the time we got off the mountain it had been winched out of the creek bed.  We started to saw trees and stack wood.  Grandpa had meant us on the mountain and he had his little truck stacked and ready to go about noon,  the girls went home with him, he had offered to stay but we thought they should go spend time with grandma.  They left, we had a nice afternoon cutting and stacking wood, sometimes it is just nice to have good hard work and the quiet of each others company.  We had planned on taking part of the wood to Bug and to a man, who we get a cord of wood a year, but when Poppie stopped at Bugs his neighbor, an elderly couple where the man has a terminal illness needed wood.  Poppie and Bug unstacked it at their house and we are going to go get them more on Thursday, still have to get Bug a load and the man we get the cord for. The couple were so happy to have wood, they were very low and wondering where to get it, Bug usually gets it but he no longer has a pickup.  They were excited we would get some for them.  We will have to get them two more full loads, truck and trailer. Maybe the last load next Saturday, which would be more important than the craft show, as it may get snowy and we couldn't get back up there, we usually get people wood in the summer not this late in the year.

This morning it is quiet with the ladies at the grandparents.  They will go to Church with them about 30 miles from here.  The Church is a nice Church, we would probably go there if it was local.  I am not sure they would be a total match with our beliefs, long term, as they are an old style church where all the ladies wear dresses but they are a great Church for the girls to go commune with.  We slept in until 7 this morning, both sore but in a good healthy way. 

Sometimes it is so nice to just have the privacy of your own home and life.  I wonder at why anyone would want to invade that time or even try to find out what you do with your life in your own home.  I am a self admitted people watcher but once the person walks out of my line of site I have little interest in what they do.  I don't dwell on what they might do in private.  I am not a celebrity watcher, I never really understand why these people aren't allowed their privacy.  I am sometimes appalled by the lengths the people will go to to know about famous or infamous peoples lives.  I can maybe understand it a little and sort of see the why people would be interest in knowing if they are like us in private but not enough to bug them.  I do not understand when people in general, that might have had entrance into your home, feel the need to gossip about what they think they know about your life.  Why would people stare at you or feel the need to stare at you as they drive by your house?  Why would they take a child's innocent conversation about their private home life and gossip about it?  Why would they feel the need to spread rumors about their perception of your housekeeping skills?  Why would that be a place for them to start a conversation with others?  Why do they not have lives where they can leave you in peace?  Why would you be of any interest to them, why can't we be allowed to have the privacy of our own lives?  I myself have never wondered what my friends talk about when they are alone, I am not a voyeur and have no interest in being one.  I certainly don't talk about or even think of things I might have accidentally seen that were private maters to my friends or neighbors.  What would be my interest, I have a hard enough time taking care of my issues and my life's path.  I am just saying, why are some people so odd or is it pathetic? .... tomorrow.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Coincidence, is it God's design or is it truly random occurence. Can it be Satan tool?

I have read many books in my life, and in our modern times seen movies, in which coincidence is often an imperative part of a story line, but is it real to life or is only in a scripted tale?  I have often heard that it is much more prevalent to our real lives than to the make believe lives of fiction. I am inclined to believe this is an actuality.  Just think over your own live and test the theory and you will find quite often it is the case.  It isn't always the catastrophic coincidence a book or movie makes it out to be but sometimes it is and in real live it is not a game, or a plot that will come to fruition in 380 pages or two hours.  Coincidence is sometimes a good and wonderful thing and sometime it can lead to unrepairable loss and damage.  Is coincidence truly random or is God's design, is it when God allows a trial or sends us a trial?

Coincidence in and of itself is not the culprit and in an of itself neither good or bad.  The problem with coincidence is it is often a harbinger, it is sometimes so odd and out there and brings people who are such disruption to your lives. You can be brought to such depths of despair and sorrow by its happenstance.  I have witnessed true heartbreak in moments of coincidence.  I think in those moments that the power of Satan has truly come to bring trials to lives.  God is the answer in these moments, we can't over come this kind of coincidence alone and I don't think that God wants or asks us too.  Sometimes people are truly the messengers of Satan and we forget that in our lives.  Only God can give us the strength to overcome these situations, and faith in God is the answer.

Sometimes coincidence can be the perfect storm and bring bad people and bad times to our lives. I think that the people that are truly evil and bring mean intent are rarely benign in their endeavor they plot and plan out their intent.  I would imagine that they are sad people with no true presence of God in their lives.  I think that they would fall into the category of people who are self deceived.

"The Bible also warns of self-deception (1 Cor. 3:18). Paul demonstrates self-deception saying: "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to the flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life" (Gal. 6:7-8). Frankly, we may deceive ourselves and others, but we cannot deceive God."

I studied and found the above words of inspiration from God. God is not deceived by these self deceived people, they have shallow lives that do no lead them to the light of God, they are not happy unless they are hurting other people.  I ask do they really not know what they do, not likely, true self deception is hard to accomplish.  You have to believe something and deceive yourself in to not knowing you are doing it. I know sometimes that is possible but it is more rare to be self deceived than to be self deluded.  Delusion in and of itself can be many things, it can be caused from true mental problems or simply having such an odd sense of reality that you see thinks askew, but that would be edging toward mental problems, so self delusion is maybe, or mostly, from people who are ill.  So is self illusion the culprit of a mean spirit.  How are they or any of us over come by self illusion? Is self illusion the way that people choose to not face reality or is it away of hurting other people and faining your innocence and belying your involvement? Is self illusion a part of the human condition? Is it a part of all of us? Is it a condition that in some is truly cruel and in other just not seeing that your child is not perfect? Is it a protective coating we wear or is it a sin we all share?....... tomorrow.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Messages in my life this week, all interesting and meaningful, all messages from God.

I am responsible only for what I say and not for what you understand.

Romans 1:29-32

New International Version (NIV)
29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

All of the above sayings were sent to me this week and I am sure, without a doubt, from God.  Sometimes life is about the little things and sometimes it is about the big things. So many people in our lives are a vital loving part of our lives and some people are not meant to be in our lives.  Life is about how you handle the good, the bad and the ugly in your life and still look yourself in the mirror and say I handled them the way God asked me too. God doesn't require that all the people we meet in this life stay or are welcome in our lives, he just asks us to conduct ourselves with him in mind.  We are not required to be a victim, or to victimize.  We are often the subject of gossip but that is a trial and trials are easily victories in the making. Life is about the way you conduct yourself not the way people try to make you conduct yourself.  Life, your life, is what you answer for when you meet the Lord face to face, faith and love of God can help us rise above the games and pettiness of life. We all sin each and everyday, God's forgiveness and is not about being perfect, God knows none of us are, as humans.  God sees us through the blood of Jesus and he sees us as perfect.  We only need try to work toward being better each day.  God knows what we endure and God wields the hand of justice to all in the end. God only remembers the sins not cleansed by the blood of his lamb.  So, those who torment us, slander us, gossip about us and hurt us in this life are God's responsibility not ours and through prayer we can reach that as our answer to our prayers.  God has a plan for our lives we just have to have the patients and acceptance to know that God always loves us and gives us his best, no matter who tries to do evil to us..... tomorrow.  

Sister brought her new son to visit and meet us. We all like him very much.

Sister has been a foster parent/adoptive parent for a long time.  She adopted her first child from Korea 18 years ago,  she is a lovely girl our Girlie, she was officially adopted on mine and Poppie's 13th anniversary.  She is a loved and vital part of Sister and Brothers family, as well as the whole extended family.  Sister and Brother have had a couple of foster children placed with them over the years, they were therapeutic foster care so the children were in need of extra attention.  Due to different circumstances both of the placements eventually did not work out.  One was very long term, the child had been in and out of Sisters home for around 10 years and has now gone on to a new home, I pray the placement is a good fit for the child.  They had a second child that eventually was placed back with the child's mother, good or bad it was the decision of the system.  Each time Sister and Brother were heartbroken but knew that God had had the control in the path of either lives.  I always told Sister that God would send them the right child for their family, in his time, and that maybe they were only called to be inspirational in the children lives that had come and had had to leave. 

Sister and Brother are just getting a new child this week, he is not therapeutic, as Sister is no longer able to have therapeutic children with her health issues.  He is a child that needs a forever home, he is the age where that is the least likely to happen, a teenager.  Sister and Brother are so excited to have him in their homes and lives.  Girlie is happy to have him, as is Niecy and Nephew, and their families. He is happy to come and live in a new town, or is trying to make it his new life, and all seems to be going wonderfully. 

Sister brought him down to meet us yesterday.  He is so eager to be included in the family, he was very gentle and nice to all the little ones that were here, Cubbie, Boy, Curious and Cartoons, they all loved him.  He was good with all the dogs that needed petted from him.  He just seemed to want to be a part of us all, he seemed to be looking at us as his new family, which was never the case with the other kids that Sister had.   He just seems to fit and wants to so badly.  I think for now I will call him, Family, I hope to always.  He is perfect for Sister and Brothers family, he may just be the one to complete them. 

Poppie is to be taking him to school so was excited to get to meet him. The girls weren't home so they will meet him on Monday, but I am sure like every one else they will like him.  I am not unaware that there will be growing pains along the way, all families have to have them but with such good intent and eagerness for acceptance, on both sides, at the beginning of the experience, I have such hope for the love to come and the family and life building they will have in all of their futures..... tomorrow.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

CAKLS and my blog have given me an adult voice that I don't often get, Love Poppie but there is only so much he wants to talk about.

I am a bit of a reclusive person, I am not sure it is my nature as much as my nurture.  My mother, as she got older, became a recluse; I watched the process and it distressed me then and now.  I am not sure I am a recluse in the same way.  I do know of us three siblings that live in my neighborhood I am probably the most out going.  I am not sure exactly why my mother became reclusive, if it was due to the stress of life, lack of her two mothers or just a need to only spend time with family.  I do know that it had a great effect on all of her children.  We are not all good at socializing.  I would say that most people would say we are nice and open when we meet people but the building of meaningful relationships comes hard.  I think sometimes, at least for me, it is hard to take the time to do it. I usually have things I have to do and taking the time to visit is hard to plan.  I think that is a mind set that I got from the childhood family.  I do remember a time when it wasn't so, but I am not sure some of my younger siblings remember that time in their lives, it wasn't even there is some of the younger ones lives.  I would say my mother started becoming a recluse in about 1972 the year we moved to Plains.  I don't really know why there were so many wonderful people there but she didn't always click with them and became less and less out going.  The funny thing is that Plains is probably the place of my mom's fondest memories.  I would say that that is an oxymoron. 

I am one of those people that you either like or you don't.  I am to out spoken for some people, but you never have to wonder where you stand with me.  I am a person that rarely changes my likes, people and things I like stay with me the whole of my life.  I don't have time for silliness or games and have learned to just walk away because they are a waste of time.  I am a loyal person and try to give to those in need.  I am usually a good judge of character when I meet people.  I do know that I make mistakes so when I meet someone, and don't particularly like them at first, I make sure to give them a chance until they proof or disprove my first impression, generally it turns out my impression was correct but not always.  I have few friends but the ones I have understand me and love me anyway. 

I have family and friends that I invite to my house, and some feel comfortable enough to drop by.  I am private in who I invite to my house. I rarely am invited to other peoples home, I do have a couple of dear friends who love me and enjoy having me in their homes.  I am a messy house keeper, it is not that I am a pig it is just that there is only so much time to do things in one day and as an at home artist I have to make choices of which is the more important use of my time.  I don't always choose to have the spotlessly clean house, if I did it would consume my time and I would never get anything else done.  I make the choice and I know that some people don't agree with me on that but I also don't make my children do all the cleaning that I won't or don't do, I can't say that about all of the people I know.  I am the cleaner of my house and my ladies assist me but are not my slaves. 

I love to talk to adults, and miss that, now that I no longer work at the 911 dispatch here in town.  I did like the adult conversations that I got to have there.  I miss the people I helped doing the job, I don't miss the politics and underplay of the job.  I miss the HelpLine for the same reason but for about 5 years after I quit both I could not answer the phone because of the anxiety it caused me.  I have been answering the phone for about 2 years know and am more comfortable with it.  I still don't like talking on the phone for long periods of time with most people but I am getting better.  Goofy understands and knows I will only talk a few minutes or so before I get one of the girls to talk with her.  I almost never call my mom or friends it is still hard for me to do.  I think in the long run it was just a matter of the combined calls from both of the jobs at once that lead to me aversion to the phone. 

I do love to go to CAKLS, I have meant some really nice woman and have come to consider them my friends.  They are a different sort of friends.  Most of them have no interest in my personal life and don't know or want to know where I live.  We get to talk about any subject we want and enjoy the sharing.  Poppie is glad that I go to CAKLS as he talks to me, maybe alot more than some husbands, as we are almost always in each others company. We talk openly and honestly and have no secrets.  Poppie also like for me to get to talk to others so he doesn't have to have that particular conversation.  He loves me but sometimes just wants to talk about animals, how to build what building or what to plant in the garden, all much more conversations that complete Poppie.  I sometimes just need my Sister or a friend to talk to, not all of my friends can long term take my drivel or intensity, or maybe it is that I more needy than they have time for and I understand that too well...... tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The second graders had a great time I think, I know we here did.

The second graders arrived with excitement and smiles on their faces.  The got to pet the little goat and the fiber goat. They got to experience the differences of their coats, one rough and bristly and the other soft and a little oily.  Lovey/Dexter, his name is actually Yogie's little Lovey but as Cubbie's Dexter was sold and she doesn't quite understand she calls him Dexter.  Poppie calls him a her, and as he is a wither it doesn't really matter, but Poppie thinks he is to cute to be a boy.  The little troop of kids then got to go see Mokie's, red and white or pink, piggies; The got to see the large momma, and the great big daddy pig.  The kids had so many questions, their teacher Mrs. Cooper tried to channel the question asking. I am think future stories and papers will be written for their learning experience. We continued on to mine big goat pen, all of Mokie's and my goats are currently together, but for the two little ones.  They are being breed, Poppie before the children arrived tied Caesar up to a post as he is in rut, we just did it as a precaution for the kids protection.  He was a doll and was curious about the kids. They got to smell him in his musk, still not nearly as stinky as a diary goat.  He smelled the air at the scent of all the children, they got their picture taken in front of him.  The does mosey around and found the children of little interest.  We then went to our momma and baby pig pen. They got to see all of the black and white or pink spotty babies.  Poppie picked one up but the little guy wouldn't stop squealing which made momma upset and the kids did not get to pet him.  They did get to see the momma telling her babies to take cover.  We let her calm down and then all the babies were shooed out to the children.  They got to go around and see them from the wooden wall of their inside pen as well.  They were a chattering happy little bunch of kids.  I then went to the turkey pen to bring out Thanksgiving.  I had made sure to capture his wings so he didn't flap them.  All the kids, that wanted to, got to pet him and look in his mouth and check out how his eyes blinked.  I then gave all the visitors a little bar of soap and a peacock feather.  The kids had gotten to see the peacocks, the geese and duck from afar as they are all free roaming.  They saw the chickens through the chicken fence.  They had gone at such a fast second grader pace, the hour and a half visit had only taken around forty five minutes and the bus was not to be back for another forty five minute.  Mrs. Cooper called him to come and we took the kids back to Mokie's pen,  She picked up a piglet to pet, and they managed to pet him a little before he squealed enough to upset his momma.  Some of the kids did get to touch the babies through the fence.  They were patient enough and the little piggies came over to their finger tips.  Shortly there after the bus returned to take them across the valley to Lady Knitters little farm to further their afternoon of fun filled farm visiting. 

Poppie went to the Doctor, his one arm said he had high blood pressure and the other arm was fine, so they are going to see why that would be.  He had blood tests, because of his long term pain med use.  He had a metabolic test, vitamin D and testosterone test.  They will have to send some of the tests out for the results so he won't know the results until Friday.  Maybe the Doctor will be able to adjust Poppie a bit and get him more on kilter.  Poppie was encouraged by his visit.  The girls had gone with him as he had picked them up from school on the way.  They got to watch him get his blood drawn.  Booboo said the kids didn't get their peacock feathers, which I had given Mrs. Cooper, they were so excited they didn't calm down.  She is holding them until they have a nice calm school day, smart lady.  I managed to get to go to CAKLS, had a nice visit with Teacher, and a new member,   The interim minister's wife for the Assembly of God Church, she knows my brother Red and his family and we had both attended his wedding, it always amazes me how small this world really is...... tomorrow.