Tuesday, October 18, 2011

No perfect kids here, Just loved, enjoyed faulty ones!

I was never a perfect child, no my mom did not raise even one perfect child.  I don't really think that they exist, except for Jesus no one lived or lives a perfect life.  I do know that the going trend of the baby boomers has been to raise perfect children that never did any thing wrong, they never did any of the things their piers did and they always did the right thing and etc.....  I don't know how they were the one and only perfect child in the pier group when a lot of the parents in that pier group thought they raised that singularly perfect specimen of human being.  Really?  I again was never perfect, I may have had a perfect moment but I was rarely praised for doing the right thing, that was expected behavior.  I didn't get praise for doing the chores that were my part of the family responsibilities.  I didn't get praise for contributing to the family on a meaningful level that was what we were taught to do.  I guess I raised my older kids along those same line so I was not much into the baby boomer philosophy.  I am now raising kids in the same generation, as the children of the baby boomers, and still I am not raising any extraordinary perfect kids.  I do praise them for a job well done, join them in the chores, the learning and the failures along the way.

I am raise wonderfully balanced little girls that make mistakes all the time, they are human beings with the frailty of all humanity.  I feel no need to put the kind of pressure on my children that being perfect would put upon them.  I see it all the time,  I think that the rise in bullying in our nation can be partially contributed right back to the parents of that perfect child, their kids are either the victim of that bullying or one of the bullies.  Victims because they can't go to their parents for help as that would make them not perfect in their parents eyes.  The bully because they see no other way to keep the perfect view their parents have of them and the pressure makes them take it from others.  The child that commits suicide because no one can be perfect and they eventually just give up and stop trying, they are never going to be good enough to be perfect anyway. I do know there are other reasons for bullying and suicide but I do strongly feel this is one of the reasons, as well, and often over looked or nay sayed.  I think that seeing your child for what they are, allowing them to talk to you about where they are going, what they have done or why they want to try something gives them the support to make the right choices and not be broken by the unobtainable belief that any one child could be perfect, even in Mom and Dad eyes.  They need the love of a parents that want a healthy faulty special child.  I am so thankful my mom raised not even one perfect child, I have never tried and God knows none of mine have come close, I thank him everyday for their warts, their good behaviour and that they love me one and all.... tomorrow.

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