Saturday, October 1, 2011

Sisters I think everyone needs one, if you don't have one you don't really understand them.

I recall most of my childhood my mother going on and on about sisters.  My mother never had one, I am sure she wanted one, on more than one occasion I heard her talk about how she would love to have been from a big family.  She made up for her lack, as a child, by giving all of her children 11 siblings.  My Grandmother Thelma would have loved to have had more children but my Grandfather had been in an accident in the second world war. The accident had burned him badly and to the best of my knowledge he had had a nervous break down that stemmed from the accident.  He was never the same and two children was a lot for him to handle. I am sure that had he lived the would have loved all his grand children but more than likely we would have driven him crazy, maybe even literally. My mom used to tell me "I never had a sister but I know all about them".  She said she gleaned her knowledge from my six aunts and a couple of her dear friends.  She said the most important thing to know about sisters is "They always get back together".  She would, "say never say anything to a sister, that is mad at her sister, as all sisters make up eventually and they will remember what you said about their sister'.  She said she learned all of her information about sisters the hard way, she was their victim. 

I was blessed or cursed with 7 sisters depending upon the day.  Well most of the time and mostly I get along with all my sisters but their are days I may still love them all but not so much do I like them. I guess that is the fundamental prerogative of sisters isn't it?  I do know that we are all just alike in ways and couldn't be more different in others.  We all have the same basic principles, given to us from our parents, but we are all so subtly different you wouldn't suspect we even knew each other.  Most of us look alike if you really look and others say you look nothing like any of your sisters, funny how that works.  I think it is so amazing how everybody sees something different in each person, one says oh you look just like you mom and another says you are the image of you dad.  I guess everybody see a different parallel than anyone else.  That is both wonderful and bazaar which is why the world is so special.

I think one of the things that all good marriages, friendships and sisterhoods have in common is the ability to confront some one, have a meaningful conversation and then move onward and upward.  Any relationship that is to grow has to be able to have confrontation or it is a dead relationship.  I hate when some one says, "I have never had a fight with my spouse in XX number of years of marriage."  Does anyone really believe that and if they didn't how is it that they are still together?  Did they care enough to disagree and talk or yell about it?  I know that all good healthy relationships have differences it is how you get through them and continue that measures the value of the relationship.  Valuing your differences and growing through them and past them give substances to your relationship.  I recall fighting with all but one of my sisters, that would be Cindy Lou Who and there wouldn't be a point to arguing with her.  I have argued with both Thing one and Thing two, I know I am 41 years older but it did make us connect in a more sibling way.  It has been my experiences, for those that don't have sisters, the best friends are the ones that are like your sisters, I am blessed to have some of those as well as my 7 sisters.  Friendships need differences to grow, can you imagine always agreeing with someone on every subject?  Confrontation is good and even has a place in the Bible.  No you shouldn't go into confrontation lightly but if it is important enough it is worth the out come. No relationship worth having is worth having with out some confrontation and difference..... tomorrow.

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