Monday, November 7, 2011

If you can't say something nice.....words carry so much power in our lives.

Your words have power use them wisely.  If you can't say something nice don't say nothing at all.  These two statements are very common in our lives.  We hear them, say them by rote, we copy and paste them, and we put them on our status but do we actually contemplate them or think about them.

When I was a little girl I was still the oldest child, and as such, I got to be Momma's helper early on in my life.  I was taught to help out with things from an early age, back then and now I am sure that is not unusual.  Third world countries don't survive any other way.  I was never allowed to hit or be truly in charge of my younger siblings and one day my grandma Gladys tried to help me learn to manage.  She sat me down and told me hitting was something I should never have to resort to.  She told me I should be able to get my meaning across with words.  I should be able to control my younger siblings with words as well.  I took her little talk to heart, I can't say that I always used my words with my younger siblings in the spirit she probably mean for me to; but I learned to use words from her encouragement all those years ago.

I would say that in my life I have been from one extreme to the other on how I have used my words.  I can cut you to pieces with my words and you probably won't even know it until you have gone home and thought about it.  I can say that there have been times in my life that I was proud of the ability but with age comes wisdom and I don't find pleasure in being cruelly with my words any more. I do find words a way to get a point across or make people think without anger or violence, not that I am a violent person and never really have been.  Words have such power that you should think before you speak and that means in the simplest moments as well as the most important moments. I have learned to walk away if I can't say something nice from the time I was little but to those who don't let me walk away you deserve the tongue lashing you might get, I am still working on that obviously.

I think that one of the most important places I use my words is with my children and my grand children.  I get to be the grandma now and I know what my words will mean to the grand kids someday, they will be as important to them as my Grandmas were to me. One example is to speak to my kids as I would like them to speak to me or to treat me, yes cleshay, but true.  I try to be honest with them at all times, I don't have to make the conversation adult just honest at their level.  I ask no more from them than I ask of myself.  If I yell, they get to, if I say bad words they should get to so I rarely do, if I expect too much or them then they should get to expect more from me..... I call my girls my ladies, always, I expect that from them and they hear it in the fact that that is what I call them.  People comment about their behavior, all the time, and say "how do you get them to act that way?" It is because that is how they were raised.  So many people think that they can teach their kids manner is the "great future time" but the reality it is an evolving process that should start and be part of everyday of a child's life.  I heard a woman recently say "doesn't she look like a hooker, or street walker" about her three year old.  Firstly I was appalled, and secondly, I looked down and saw a little tiny girl dressed in play clothes.  I never saw a hooker, a street walker or, as I have never heard another term that applies to either one of these descriptions, a whore.  I saw just a sweet little girl.  I am wondering what the girl will turn out like if that is the way her mother sees her?  Momma may get just what she asked for and I am guessing what she raised.  I have got to go get the ladies up to start their day.... tomorrow.

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