Poppie and I still struggle with our dilemma, Preacher told the girls we were going to do something today and told them what he thought we were going to do. First of all we hadn't decided to do what he wants and had nearly decided to not do what he wants, as I have said, secondly since we hadn't decided we hadn't included the Ladies as yet in the conversation. It does now put more pressure on us. We now have to include the Ladies in the conversation and tell them what we believe and why, and what the Preacher believes and why. We again have thought maybe that we should do it because we don't want to be a stumbling block to others, and maybe even to the Preacher. We also hover on why compromise is not the answer, and today the Preacher preaches on holding on to your beliefs, so maybe that is the Lord saying we should just not do what the Preacher wants and hold our ground. We had gone to Church this morning thinking today we will do it this evening, so their is not a huge audience at Church, and this morning would have been an unduly large audience for our Church. I know I don't make sense but then trials never, or rarely, do when we are in the middle of them. I often wonder if persecution for Christ sake can be something that to no one else makes five minutes of difference but to Poppie and I it is tantamount to betraying a strong held belief. Is anything you believe to the bottom of your soul of insignificance even if to other its seem trivial? I think in the end I don't know the answer and know that giving in is not a sin to most people, or for that matter to God, but why is my soul at such odds? Why is something so little such a trial, and will I look back at this as overcoming a trial, given in and not standing up for the Lord or just something that happened along the way. I don't really know, but I do know it isn't as nothing to my soul as the Preacher believes, and he really does believe he is doing right by "offending" us into doing this. He thinks offending us is his job, I think offending people is something God doesn't want us to do and considers it a sin. There again we disagree in our beliefs but then I think God made us individuals with free will and wants us to have differences in some of our beliefs. He wants an individually relationship with each of us. I do so miss Belle, she would be so good at helping me with this trial. Poppie does the best he can, but he is really of the same mind as me so sounding off of him is like sound off of to myself......
1. Alas! and did my Savior bleed,
and did my Sovereign die!
Would he devote that sacred head
for sinners such as I?
2. Was it for crimes that I have done,
he groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity! Grace unknown!
And love beyond degree!
3. Well might the sun in darkness hide,
and shut its glories in,
when God, the mighty maker, died
for his own creature's sin.
4. Thus might I hide my blushing face
while his dear cross appears;
dissolve my heart in thankfulness,
and melt mine eyes to tears.
5. But drops of tears can ne'er repay
the debt of love I owe.
Here, Lord, I give myself away;
'tis all that I can do. What a wondrous Savior we have... tomorrow