Monday, November 30, 2015

Sometimes change is good for everyone......

If you have been a long time reader of my blog you know that I have spoken on sexual assault of children more than once.  I, my daughter, my nieces and a number of my siblings were victims.  I have spoken both about victims and the people who victimize children.  I make no bones about the fact that it is a crime and should always be considered a crime.  That being said I would like to revisit child sexual abuse again. I know as a child when we were victims it was not as yet an automatic thing that you reported.  Sexual assault was quite often something that was dealt with in the family, and was quite often considered a family matter and had been treated as such backwards in time unto obscurity. I am happy that it is no longer dealt with that way, for the most part; but I recently was surprised to find out that the more things change the more things remain the same.  I was probably the most surprised to find that it was a "good Christians" that seemed unable to see the need for change when it came to their family.

I won't say who the situation is about but will try to relay the end result, as a cautionary tale.  Someone I know was sexually assault as a teenager by an older family member.  The older family member drugged the teenager, and at least two other teenagers in that family at different times, to have sex with them.  The teenagers involved either did not remember the events that occurred or had vary shadowy pieces of a memory of the events,  One of the teenagers grew up and because of occurrences with their adult life's work they remembered the events of their childhood. The teenager now an adult had lived without memories of the incident for roughly 10 year, and now nearly 7 year with memories before unbearable change had to come into their life and the spouse was taken into confidence.  The memories became more and more torturous and eventually their job was to much to handle, their life began to spin out of control to a degree that they needed therapy, the love and unconditionally support of their beloved spouse.  The teenager, now an adult, decided to tell immediate family members and parents, of what had happened.  Needless to say the parents of the child, now an adult, were devastated.  This had just happened to their child in their eyes and hearts.  They were angry at the family member and felt totally betrayed.  This was a crime against their child, and unfortunately due to time since it had occurred, a crime that would not be charged or have settlement through the court system.

The mother of the child, now an adult, confronted the criminal, the sexual predator who had attacked her child.  The mother had all the anger of a mother that's cub had just been violated because to her her child had just been violated.  The perpetrator said, oh, that happened a long time ago and I have sense gotten saved and God has forgiven me.  Really??  Does God really forgive you your crimes when you have not asked your victim for forgiveness?  Saving your soul and forgiving you for sins you have not asked forgiveness for is not the same thing.  How could this criminal be so nonchalant and uncaring of the child, children he had hurt so badly?  The prep told the Mother he didn't understand why she was so mad it was all water under the bridge and had happened years and years ago.  He was totally above it all.  The mother spoke with her sisters, both wonderful Christian woman, seeking some comfort and help.  Theese wonderful Christian women basically said it happened a long time ago and she should just get past it.  WHAT???? The mother said, If this was your child you would not feel that way, You would want to help your child too.  I just found out about this, it is like it just happened to my child and you have no compassion for my child or me.  You are actually disregarding that the criminal perpetrated a crime on my child and you are treating it like it was a family matter that should just be swept under the rug! ( I was not there and only heard part of the story between the mother and her sister. I dramatized it as best as I could, as a mother of a child that was assaulted and I found out about it later.)

I was saddened by the prep's thought that his being a Christian now absolved him from any and all responsibility for his past actions. It distressed me almost worse than the two Christian Ladies that I do have respect for acted the way they did about the whole situation and came down basically on the side of the prep and not the victim.  So much like things used to be and not the way they are becoming.  I guess it is maybe their ages and that is why they thinks the way they do.  I personally don't believe in this day and age that we should be protecting criminals in families just because they are family.  I really believe this person is a serial child rapist and I can only imagine how many other children he has hurt and victimized.  I really think that he could still not doing it.  Sadly this is not an isolated incident, it is a story that happens over and over again in our country and this world every day......

I pray for the victims of this tale, and all the other victims of this crime out there all over this world.  I pray that the Lord will come into the lives of the children of rape and console them and that they may know the Lord and find their salvation.  I pray for the prep's out their that they too find salvation and that they find a way to seek forgiveness from their victims.  I think that they owe that to their victims if nothing else..... I pray that you are saved and know that Grace of our Lord Jesus and that he is Lord and Master in your life and you are among the saved in Christ Jesus.... tomorrow.


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