Thursday, January 23, 2014

Do you want to know or is it easier to be in the dark??

I am the kind of mom that has almost to a single situation never talked baby talk to a baby or a toddler.  I have always talked to them in a reasonable manner for their age.  I talk in a playful way to a baby but no you have never heard gibberish from my mouth.  I try, and I say try because their are some days when whining wins over common sense and I get frustrated but again I say try, to talk to a toddler in a patient voice no cute shortened forms of real words.  I don't talk to my dogs that way either they are after all the age of most toddler, but I digress.  I talk to my kids in language, and for the most part, my kids have always spoken clearly and from a young age.  Bubbles is a prime example she is two and can say "Nannie, that baby is whining"  and I must add barely two.  NO, I am not a coddler but most children are and have always been drawn to me.  I find it to be in the rarity that a baby or small child doesn't come right up to me and talk or let me cuddle them.  My grandfather used to say that some people get a second helping of mothering and as much as I once would have said "not me" I think like my Mom and my Grandma Gladys I surely was blessed with it.  I find of late I have spent a little to much time with my three littles of Mokies and will be getting a much needed break from being there daycare and get to be just their Nannie.  Blessed be the Lord.

I was, to go along with being a not coddler, a mother who had not one pair of rose colored glasses.  I would much rather know what my child was doing, was capable or what they had done than put my head in the sand.  That meant that I had an agreement with them that the punishment was much less or nonexistent if I heard it from them first. (Example Bug always ran home to tell on himself because the bus would be bringing his sister who would surely tell on him) To that end I have friends who still think what their child was an angel and got all growed up and never, not even once did something bad. I do believe I could have sold them the Brooklyn Bridge when it came to the reality of their "special good" child.  I would never tell for the world what I know about their child, 1) because it is not my place at this time, 2) their kids are pretty good kids now and 3) it should be long forgotten.  I have no delusions about almost anything that my kids have done and believe me some of it you would not believe or maybe some of you would.  I have probably had a long conversation with them about it, I am not proud of it or happy but I love my children.  I have not for a moment forgotten what my child was capable of in their past but I try to help them be better people and know not one of us can change the past.  I now come to a  quandary do I tell when I know something horrible is going on in one of my friend kids life or not? I think I have always had this question in my mind.  I always kind of based it off of my read of my friend.  If my friend is someone who can first of all endure the problem, believe their child capable of it and would actually rather know than not I tell them, if not I don't, IE the friends who still have no comprehension of their child not being perfection.  I have more than one of those by the way, the good thing is in most cases the child is a pretty good adult.

I therefore contemplate for my friend the pain to be endure in the future.  Do I tell while a difference is possible? or do I look the other way and say it is none of my business.  Do I tell my friend who can make a difference if they but knew, maybe they deserve the chance to try?  I think will this hurt our friendship? one if I do or two more if I don't?  There are so many questions with such different answer and out comes, or consequences.  But alas is this child help able and if I don't help am I part of the problem? Is it worth my friend possible anger?  Do I love my friend and my friend's child enough to loses them if I fail? I could surely lose the friendship if I don't tell and the friend finds out I knew? Do I do the right thing???? I pray for God to give me the answer and the strength to accept the results?  I pray that God can intervene and is it possible that I am that intervention so that mom and dad can help their child while there is time?  Pray for me to know and pray for my friends child to make the right new choices and remember God is the most important of those choices in all of our lives..... tomorrow.

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