Friday, April 29, 2011

The royal wedding, Yogie stays home and lifes potential.

So, yes, I am a royal watcher, a little. I was up to see their wedding, live, this morning, I was happy to see that she wore a traditional wedding dress, and that that is the example to young people she may set. I think that the leaders of the world need to set traditional values, as examples, to help young people to be more comfortable in that lifestyle and not so set with bad trends in our society. Young people are influenced by what others do, no matter what we do at home it does register on their radars. Yes, our teaching is the most important, thank God that is so, but what others do as they grow up does influence their lives, most come back to or never leave their family values but it is nice to have re enforcement in the greater society and the world.

Yogie came home with a "fuzzy" eye when she came home that began to hurt by this morning, I cleaned it with saline this morning, funny how you teach them to tell you or ask for help and it just slips their minds to do so. I try to explain to her to come to my for help for anything. she does but it is important to reinforce it in the simple things so that it becomes second nature in the bigger things.

I was raised in a home where you weren't encouraged to go to our parents for that kind of thing. I think that that was the way they were raised so it was not something they did easy or even thought about. I have always maintained that we change in our lives the things we didn't like in our childhood. I know that some people think they don't change things, that their parents were perfect, but when you really look down deep we all change things about our childhood. Some of the things are just little and suttle but none the less a change.

I always have tried to tell my kids daily or on a regular bases that I love them, yes they know, but they need to hear it not just assume it. Change. I  have tried kiss and hug them regularly. Change.  I allowed my children to voice their opinion, sometime it was hard to hear but I let them express their opinion, Change. I also told them about periods, sex, alcohol, anger and drugs. Change. I let them come to me for help, without judging what they did. It was better to know what they did and help them work through the problem than to go on thinking "my kids never did any of that I raised good kids". I truly know people, to this day, who have no idea what their kids experimented with and how close they came to real problems with their good kids. I did know and was able to talk to them about it, no, I was not their Friend, but a parent that allowed them some neutral ground to tell me or ask for help with amnesty. I think that helped me guide them in a way that punishing them with out being able to hear why wouldn't have. It was a hard line to walk, but worked for us. I had a friend say to me, when I was distressed that I had failed as a mother, "most kids run from their parents house as soon as they can, yours keep moving back or just won't go, you are a good mother", I do hope so.

I have two little ones again and teenage years yet to come, I will continue most of my techniques and change some, again, after all I am a different parent than I was 20 years ago, but they talk to me about anything now and I don't plan on cutting the lines of communication anytime soon. I don't want to be their friend, until they are adults, but their mom, friendship is our future not our present. I know that the future friendship will be wonderful, I am there with my older kids now...... tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Yes nobody knows the right way to raise kids, its different each and every day, it upsets me when some so called expert rights a how to book for raising kids,I think your parents try and make a good foundation with you, then you as a person will grow from that nobody's perfect and never will be. I only had a single mom, my dad was killed when i was young, but she taught me right from wrong and I think I turned out pretty good.


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