Chaos! When did my crazy goat lady become my friend? Passing of joy.....

I had a long day yesterday, much like any of my other days but there was some craziness in the middle of our normal chaos.  Yes, chaos is my life and has been for some times.  It brings lots of unknowns, missed visits to friends and decisions about what obligation has to be and which are should bees and which are pure want toes.  I have missed stopping in to a see friends and possible offending them just because I can't actually fit one more obligation into my life some days.  I truly do apologize if  you were one of the peoples I have just had no time to stop and see, email or call, I hope to get my life together and amend that but not seeing it on the horizon at this moment.  I now have my grands more often, well not more often necessarily but more at once and some on more days.  I am finally done washing jars.  I am 2/3's of the way through my 25lb of beans that I bought to can.  I have 55 jars of pinto beans with chicken broth, one didn't seal or would have been 58.  7 jars of pinto pork and beans, 5 jars of great northern pork and beans (okay I just could wait to try the recipe on white beans so had Poppie pick up 4lbs), 2 jars of great northern chicken broth.  I am making mesquite and chicken taco pinto beans today.  Hoping to work on the grouting in the pantry and lay tile in the bathroom.  Only 3 grands today, 6 yesterday so a lot less chaos hopefully. 

Yesterday during the canning, I had a blow up.  I wasn't even scared, which is nice since I spent 38 years in terror of pressure cookers or canners.  I was making pork and beans, the recipe called for chopped onions but Poppie doesn't like the onions bits in the food, he doesn't mind the taste if it isn't in bits.  I cooked the sauce and decided to blend it.  I have not used a blender for all that many things, mostly soap making and smoothies, so I didn't know it could be a problem.  I boiled the sauce, and that was my first mistake, in blending, I have learned.  I filled the blender jar 3/4 of the way up, second mistake.  I put my hand on the lid but didn't really lock it down, 3rd mistake.  I know, for those of you that are expert blenderers you know what is coming.  I pushed the button, the pressure of the hot sauce pushed the lid up, thank the Lord I had my hand on it and the presence of mind to push down. It threw scalding hot boiling sauce all over my chest and my right arm.  I kept the lid down and found the off button, while making sound of agony, I immediately went to the shower and turned on the cold water to wash it off of my upper breasts and arm.  The cold water was oh so cooling, it brought back haunting memories of the pressure cooker accident I had had all those years ago.  I was washing off, and trying to cool the two most painful areas, when I heard a child coming toward me screaming.  I stop thinking of myself and went into mommie mode.  I stepped out of the shower, washcloth still in hand.  Cubbie came running to me blood all down her face and all over her dress, a puffy lip dripping blood.  I reached out with the washcloth to put pressure on her bleeding lip.  Poppie was right behind her, "I told her to leave Sadie alone.  She just never minds!"  I checked her lip.  It was a superficial scratch, it had just bled a lot.  Poppie, "I just told her to leave Saddie alone or she would get bit.  She just won't quit rubbing her face in that dogs face.  The dog is in pain and tries to get away but she won't leave her alone."  I got Poppie calmed down.  Cubbie was put to watching a movie, and told to leave the dog alone or next time I would spank her bum.  Catastrophe averted the pain in my chest started screaming.  I asked Poppie if he would put herbal minder on my burns.  He did, I got dressed again, well I put my shirt back on, but an ice pack over my chest and went back to blending sauce.  Poppie helped.  We put less in, locked in the lid, and Poppie held it down for good measure.  My burns did blister on my chest, but by this morning they were gone, love that herbal mender.

It was late in the evening last night, my last batch of pork and beans was in the pressure canner and the weight was hissing along when the phone ran.  It was my Crazy Goat Lady from Polson, I am now going to call her Germany.  I hadn't heard from her for several months.  She almost immediately said "my Mom died on Monday night."  I get calls from her and have since almost the first time I meant her.  She had come down and bought a buckling from me and had began by calling me to let me know his progress and then we began to expand to other subjects.  The conversations soon became more her just calling to talk to me.  Usually in the late even, I never told her know one else actually usually dares to call us that late, I think I always knew she just needed to talk and had found an anonymous ear to listen.  Over the years we have talked of her dreams, of land and a little farm of her own, a dream she is soon to accomplish, we spoke of her kids, her grands, all foster kids that are kids of her heart and love, her animals, her job, she is a traveling nurse that takes care of shut-ins, and mostly her mother.  She had had a hard relationship with her mom as a child and young adult but in the last 5 years her mother had come to live and die with her.  She had gone to Germany about five years ago to get her mom.  Her mom had then recently broken a hip and was in early stage Alzheimer's.  She brought her home, Germany's sibling, all living in Germany had wanted to put her in a home.  They wouldn't or couldn't take care of her.  Germany brought her mom to her home,  changed her home and mixed in her mom's treasures to make her feel more at home.  She got her back to walking and no longer dependent on her wheel chair with in 3 months.  Her mom was so lonely for her other children an didn't really understand why they didn't come visit.  Germany arranged to take her mom on a special trip to Tucson, to visit old friends from her homeland.  It was just the trick to lift her mom's spirits.  Her mom the rest of her live treasured the trip her "children" had sent her on, she never realized that it was Germany alone who paid and arranged for the trip, she knew her mom needed to feel that her children loved her and had done something for her.  Germany's last five years had been of taking care of an evermore failing aged mother, I believe her mother was well into her 80's when she came to live with Germany.  There was a long time in the five years when her mom didn't even know Germany was her daughter.  She once told her, "who are you?"  "I am you daughter" Germany replied.  Mom, "NO, I would have know had I had a baby! You are not!"  Sometimes her mom was mean, harking back to Germany's childhood, her mother was not always so kind.  Germany remember having said as a small child to her mom I will always take care of you, and in the end she, and she alone, did.  The last two years she could not leave her mom alone, she had to take her in the car to all of her home visits.  Germany said her mom had a wondrous day of clarity last Friday.  They talked and prayed together and then off to bed, her mom never really woke up or knew her again.  She did say as she was passing her mom caressed her face many a time.  She died quietly and peaceful, much more so than her last few years had afford them.  My friend, she is my friend and when she become so I don't know she just needed me in some way, called to tell me of her sadness, her relief that her mom had gone on to glory and maybe share her sorrow and her joy.  I don't know why I was the one that she called but maybe it was just anonymity, or that her siblings had left her with all of the work, or just because.  She will have a local memorial for her mom, then take her home to Germany to bury her ashes. 

My day was long yesterday and maybe it hit all of the emotions one can have but in many ways it as just a normal day of chaos that is my house... I hope the Lord holds you in his arms and that in the end you have someone who loves you enough to put aside their lives to share it with you.  I hope you know you are bound for glory when your time to leave this earth comes.  I pray that you know the Lord is awaiting your passing into glory....tomorrow.