I once believed, and have even written in my blogging, that I believed that a person could loose their salvation and I now know that that is just not true. I was confused with what Grace truly was. Salvation is not of me on any level, and that no one deserves, it so if God gives it to you he is faithful and would never take back his gift. I was confused in thinking that a person had to be a person of works to keep salvation which is just not true. God's salvation is a gift, period, and if a person fails, falls short, changes their mind or walks completely away, it does not effect God he is always the same and never changing so salvation once giving is a gift for eternity. We are the failures, and the weak, not God.
I have struggled with relationships in my life and have discussed them on many a page and have come to the determination that people are doing the best they can, Sometimes their mistakes have caused pain and devastation in my life but I can not change the past, and can probably never understand the intent or even if there was an intent for maybe I was just collateral damage and the person never intended me the pain they caused. I need to forgive and forget. I have said before that I can forgive because the Lord asks me to, if some one asks it of me, but I can't always forget but I have come to learn that that is something that I have to do. The forgetting is the true forgiveness and the hanging on of the pain is devastating so I need to forgive, and forget, for my soul as much as for the one who caused me pain. God forgives and forgets and I have his example to follow and am on my path to true discipleship only when I can follow his example. I have heard those who control your anger control you, well the reality is those who control any of your emotions, thoughts or pains controls you, so don't let them; forgive, forget and get on with the freedom of knowing only God controls any and all of your being.
I know I am a work in progress and in many ways a mellower, milder more loving version of who I once was but God has a lot more work to do on me, so I am growing daily and for now I am content with that and with who I am today, I am not sure, well I know for sure I am still a broken fleshly human that has a long long way to go but I am a little farther along than I was even a year ago, a week ago or a day ago. God is making me more like his son daily, and I stand in wonder at the work he has already accomplished..... I pray that you are saved, if not, email me and we can talk, or pick up a Bible and seek him in earnest and he will speak to you. I pray for your day, your life and you eternity....tomorrow.