Today is our Anniversary, Poppie, I love your more today than all those years ago!

Poppie and I have never been daters, even when we were dating, we never really went on a date. We meant at the YACC program and lived in male and female dorms. We worked all day together making trails in the Bob Marshall, posting and polling, seeding, cleaning the forest service lands. We spent the evenings together, in the common rooms, and spent the weekends together. We knew each other 5 months when we married. We were married in the little chapel of the local funeral home. Had a tiny reception. Poppie had wrecked his car two days before we were married so my brother drove us the 50 miles from the little town where my folks lived, where we were married, and dropped us off at the little house we had rented near the job Poppie had.

Over the years, we occasionally went to dinner for our anniversary but not always. Even more rarely we might have gone out of town to a hotel and dinner. Mostly we enjoyed our even with each other or with or without kids. I have only just realized that Poppie and I know how too have fun but neither one of us ever learned how to play. We are trying to learn but as neither of us know how it is hard to help each other learn. We may never be comfortable with playing, and this is ok, God may not see playing as all that important in our lives. He did gives us good work ethics, values, love of our families and love of his teaching and guidance; maybe that is all we need in this life.

I don't have a sure fire formula for a good marriage. I only know what I have learned from loving the same man for 31 years. You love yourself or you can't love your spouse. You love your spouse with the same love with which you love yourself. You don't go to sleep angry, loss of sleep is not worth the loss of each other. You listen to the others side of the argument, you don't have to agree with it but you do have to listen and empathize with it. You have to spend quality time with each other, friends and family are secondary to your time with each other and if they aren't you are in trouble. Time spent doesn't  have to be special or unique it has to be time together, working together toward your goals is more important than almost anything you do. Don't let your kids become more important than your spouse. My kids in moments of their lives have needed me more but I have never loved them more than I have loved Poppie. When your children grow up if you haven't kept your connection to one another, the most important relationship in you life, except God and yourself, you will be looking across the table at one another thinking "who are you?" and sadly you won't know. The kids will be gone and they won't be there as your bridge. I have loved no one more than God, myself and Poppie and I think that that is the way God intends a marriage to be......... next time.