It's hard to teach old dogs new tricks or maybe you can take the Girl out of the faith but you can't take the Faith out of the Girl, old woman...

I have mentioned aplenty I think that Mokie is a black and white person.  I am not saying she got that way alone.  I admit that I am a black and white person as well, so is my dad, his dad and I am not sure after that.  I got it rightfully though and gave it to my daughter, probably more than one.  I do admit though that with age I have learned that my black and white can be on the details and not the whole of the mater.   I have aged into only fighting the battles that really have connection to my Soul or maybe better put it is what would God have me do? I also don't have to battle with people I can battle it out in my own thoughts because after all it is my issue and not really the issue of the person who brought it to my attention.  I have learned with age to not be offended as easily as I once was, after all my being offended is my sin and not the sin of the person doing the offending they after all might not be sinning on any level though I have been offended. 

I as a child liked to talk to myself, and I have taught all of my children that they can talk to them selves after all the self they talk to might be the only one with any sense.  My habit of talking to myself carried on into my teen years and into adulthood, I learned eventually that it, for the most part, is not myself I talk to but the Holy Spirit that has abided in me since my moment of salvation.  I talk to "myself" a lot or would not manage to be able to get through the day sometimes.  I rarely think of the Holy Spirit, as the Holy spirit, I think of talking to myself, talking to God or other terms but in the end they are all the same I am talking to the Holy Spirit and I never give my Comforter the credit he is due, but then doesn't he give all the credit to Christ Jesus.......  I am not sure I ever had a great epiphany that Christ was the Son of God, died and arose for me.  I was raised in the belief and had a seamless transformation into asking the Lord for repentance and he gifted me Salvation on August 22 1977.  I am not sure I felt the overwhelming power of regeneration, I had always believed and my life went forward.  I cycled up and down in my faith and, as said before, was alone so much of my 30's.  I had forgot to talk "to myself"  I relied on myself and the devil took advantage of the silence of not talking to the Holy Spirit.  I got into my 40's and had a renewal of the regeneration of my new creature.  I also had two new babies to raise.  I prayed and prayed, a tree fell on Poppie, literally, and we were both for the first time in our lives seeking God in a way we never had.  We eventually landed at the Church we are now at.  We knew going in it would be a struggle to wholly change from one doctrine to the next but we specifically sought out a local "new testament" Church.  We had lots of offers to go out of town but I was raised to believe that you have to be a part of a local Church, you have to put your Faith and time into building a community fellowship.  We had been going around 6 months when Poppie was saved and baptized into the Lord.  Shortly their after I had a heart wrenching talk with the Preacher over something he wanted from us but in the end We could not do.  We, Poppie and I, have lived together along time and my black and white or maybe my beliefs have wore off on him, and we could not do what the Preacher wanted because we plan and simply can not find it in the Bible and I was raised that you can not add to or take away from the Bible.  The Preacher tried to explain his reasoning for the request but his answer is not black and white it is full of gray and "insight".  I told him I could do it for him if he wanted but I could not do it for God because I could not in all honesty see that God asked it of me.  It the end I left offended as I am sure he was.  I decided then that to the best of my ability I would not ever be offended by difference in doctrine again.  So for the last year I have grown in God and the local Church. 

I missed some of the things I had been taught for the first 51 years of my life about God.  I read to see if what I was taught was what I really believed and if that is what the Bible told me to do.  In the end I think I sured up and established the doctrine the Holy Spirit reveled for to me to follow.  Recently the Preacher said they were going to do something at Church that I longed for and missed to the sorrow of my Soul.  I was excited and told Belle I was looking forward to it.  She burst my bubble and told me some Baptist Churches would not let me participate.  I prayed and thought on her words.  I failed and became offended.  I studied and sought God, I talked to the Holy Spirit.  This Sunday the Preacher gave a great sermon in preparation for the sacrament to come.  I heard in no uncertain terms that I would not be allowed to participate.  I was not offended,  I found that once he had explained the way the Church did it it was so far afield from what I believe if I participated I would be going against what I believe and what I can find about it in the Bible.  I know that one and all of the  participate in the sacrament, as they do, it will be exactly what they need from the Lord but alas I can not participate in something I can not believe in nor can I asked for something I can not believe in to get to do some I would like to do.  I find that I can't add or subtract from the Bible and the way I read, reread and read again it is not what I believe the Bible tells me to do.  I talked it over with Poppie and he felt the same way, he can not justify it in his Bible either the way it was explained.  Poppie did set beside me in Church for nearly 15-20 years off and on, and he was not not paying attention to the Word that the Lord spoke to him. 

We have decided anew that we will do the sacrament that we miss so in our own homes, we will not over do it and not underdo it.  We will do it when assembled together and be inline with what we find missing in our local Church.  It does not take away from the love of assembly we share at the church, the Word of God spoken through the preaching of the Preacher, it does not mean we are offended or want to leave.  It means that the Lord has given us our dearest want a local Church to assemble with, but in our worship there is a little bit of a trial, and the Lord gives us trials for a reason, and the reason is not for us to know or complain about it is in God's time for us to know his reasoning.  God blesses the ones he gives trials and chastisements to.

I pray that you love the Lord Jesus and know the Joy of communing with him.  Oh, how sad to live a life on this earth with out him and much sadder still to never be able to go to Glory and live ever after with him.  Your salvation is something you need to listen for and accept.  Seek God and his grace.... tomorrow