Trees, fruuits, do we really ever break free of our precieved postions.....

Are you an orange tree that thinks it is an apple tree or are you an apple tree?  Are you stuck in the same childhood mindset that you were raised to be or is that who you are?  Does that mind set make you who you are indefinitely or are you really ever able to break free and become something new? and if you do does any one even notice?  Do our perceptions change or are we so set that we don't see change, or do we care?  Does it ever matter? should we care or do we have the right to even wonder?

Okay, so I had one of those contemplative looong sleepless nights.  My throat is sore and I am on my way to that developing in something worse I fear.  Booboo and Yogie are showing signs of following my lead.  Booboo and I spent the evening slicing oranges and lemons with the meat slicer,  watching my 9 year old slice so close to the 8 inch razor was very nerve wracking, but you have to let them try at the top of their ability.  She is proud of her slicing and the marmalade it made but for the simmering.  Now, it comes down to the reducing and the jarring,  never made marmalade that you had to set 12 hours in the middle of the cooking, so we will see how it turns out.  Lemons and oranges to make up for the sweet oranges and not the Seville...  Still need to get my act together or I would have had the right oranges but I am thinking Poppie is more likely to eat sweeter than tarter, oh, I truly would have liked the tarter, but I digress.

I think that we all start as a seedling,  we have all our structure and branches by the time we are ready for school.  We really are little sponges as small children.  Think of the accomplishment that an infant or a toddler make in such a short time.  If we adults could but accomplish a little of what an infant does in a year we would own the world.  We become who we are to be in our first five years, well not engineers, doctors or presidents but we are the person on the inside that we are most likely to always be, changing is almost impossible.  The oldest child will always be the oldest child, they are expected to be accomplished and do what they are told, they are expect to help with the others, no mater how many others there are to be,  they have to learn to be right and not being right is a hard thing for them to accept.  They are most often the experiment for the second, third or 10 children to come,  almost all parents come to parenting with out a manual. I have meant people with them so some parents do have them, written by some well meaning professional parent.  I digress.  Oldest children are a mixed bag of successes, failures, confidence and the child lost.  They have depths that are not seen, are not understood and are almost always misunderstood.  You know, people find them bossy, they can be over bearing and they can be such solid examples, yes, they can and they can be complete messes, but mostly on the inside.  Middle children tend to be the mediators, the lost child that people over look and forget, they are the spare sometimes.  They are not the baby and not the depended upon oldest child, they are most often not mom's or dad's favorite, they are somewhere in the middle, physically and mentally.  The just are.  The babies is just that and most likely will always be that, the baby, the last hurrah, the little darling, the one the others had to jump to and cater for.  They know they are special and they never let you forget it.  They have a terrible time coping with the reality of adult life, they are a lot like the current generation of babies of baby boomers, they don't know how to fail or is it just that they have never been allowed to, they always got a ribbon so how is it that the boss at their job doesn't know that?  Didn't he get the memo?  I know that each of these placement of children are not a fully developed view of all children but I would bet you can find a truth in my view if you think about it.  Doesn't it amaze you that when you get together with your siblings you automatically go right back into that old pattern, the one you have tried so hard to shed as an adult.  You are not the position of your birth but does any one in your family understand that?  Or is it that that is the personality you portray? and you are kidding yourself that it is someone else's issue?

So the seeding has a shape, an identity, and it knows what or who it is as an adult, well sort of?  The Bible tell us that our salvation is free, and it is.  I spent most of my adult life believing that once saved always saved was not my belief.  I no longer hold that view but it has been a long time coming, a lot of prayer and a lot of Bible studying to get there.  I had a hang up with people who spent years in spiritual positions saving others and preaching the Word and then out of the blue they became true atheists.  I couldn't imagine that that could be so,  how would the Lord take some one to glory that cussed his very existence.  I overlooked that yes, salvation is free, yes we are saved by grace and not by anything we do, but the bottom line is once saved always saved, so is the answer that because we can't actually see other peoples salvation that the preacher who became the atheist was never saved in the first place?  God alone knows our salvation and always knew their heart, but alas we did not?  Is an orange tree an apple tree just because it says it is?  Is a christian a Christian if his life doesn't produce Christian fruits?  I don't know that it is my business either way but I do know that as a Christian I am saved by grace and that grace comes by hearing and believing through faith.  If I have faith can I truly live completely outside of God's wishes? can I truly hate the God that showed me that grace?  Can salvation be that totally unseeable?  I don't think that Charles Manson is saved, by his fruits we know him, could it be that we just don't see his salvation?  I don't know.....

Dose life change who we are?  Do we develop and evolve?  Do most people ever notice?  Does it matter if they do or don't?  Is  the angry 20 year old always condemned as being angry, and out of control, when it has been years since they have been anger at almost anyone?  Does not agreeing mean you are anger?  Is it that your evolution is so minute in other peoples lives that they missed it entirely and they never looked past what they expect you to be to see what you have become?  Did they miss that an orange tree can become an apple tree because of the transformation of salvation, but they expect to see oranges even though they just picked apples from your branches?  I think so many people worry to much about others, and they forget that life is about the transformations you make and that you be accountable to yourself and God.  No one knows the struggles that you work through everyday,  we all struggles and try to make changes that go unnoticed ever day.  We are a selfish creature of our own flesh. Is it that we are so wrapped up in our own metamorphoses that we don't see the butterfly our friend, sibling or mate have become.  We should not dwell on others, personal lives in a manner that is demeaning or gossipy but we should glory in the beautiful person they become.  We know not if they sorrow, if they are in pain, are lost or need our love and help if we don't ask and don't step up and volunteer our support.  I Corinthians 13:13  And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.   I don't think that charity is about giving a check, it is about giving of yourself, even if you step in it, even if you make mistakes, even if you don't know how to proceed or help.  Charity is about showing up every time, doing the best, getting it wrong and trying again.  Charity is about giving when you have nothing left to give and doing it over and over again...... tomorrow.