Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Marriage and loves evolvment......

I have had reason to contemplate the involvement of love and marriage of late.  This past week has seen my 33rd anniversary pass and the move of my parents for the third time is the last 4 years.  I don't see their moving as all the unusual, as during my childhood we moved 42 times.  It was actually more odd that my mom only moved two times in the years she lived here, but I digress.  Moving is hard on you in any instance and causes stress at the best of times. 

I think on marriage and the ones that I have been blessed to witness in my life.  There is nothing, almost nothing, more glorious than watching a young love develop.  I am not talking about the hookups of this age or the shack ups but a true long lasting loving love that begets a marriage with all its wonders to see.  The innocence of true love with God in the mix.  Last week a friend congratulated Poppie and I by saying that nothing could be more strong than a love where all three were braided together, God, man and woman.  I have been blessed to experience that kind of love in my marriage. You do see those kinds of loves in this day and age, I have witnessed them my self in the young, but more and more you witness relationships that are so not of that cloth. 

I think when you look on a young love you see two people that would do anything for one another, they have so much to look forward to in their futures, especially when God guides their love and their path.  They have their love, then eventually they have the love of  and for their children which just makes the loving relationship grow.  I think that you have to always remember the love of the original three in any marriage and when you don't there in lies the seeds of a marriage that begins to unravel.  I know in my marriage my children always came second and third.  God and Poppie always came before.  I do see marriages where the kids soon take over as the number one relationship and the marriage soon begins to go off track and when the kids grow  up and go on to their lives what does the marriage have let?  Is it able to be braided back together?  Do the partners in it even want to or can they?  Marriage at it's easiest takes a lot of work but what about the lost people who no longer know who they live with?  What about the marriage that has lost the respect for each other?  What about the marriage that money has destroyed because the couple didn't learn to talk to one another or have forgotten to love one another?  So many things can take a marriage off in so many different paths.  God can make a marriage stronger but you have to keep God in your marriage.  You have to remember to put you partner first, next to God.  You have to remember to work at you marriage.

I think if you look a people who have been married along time you see that they have learned to become one, not two opposing ideal battling or competing with one another.  Those are the couples that have learn to embrace their marriage with their combined ideas, their beliefs, their morals, their goals, rarely is it possible to be in a happy marriage if you aren't simpatico, opposites do attract but seldom do they stay opposites and succeed.  Think about the marriages that work are they really opposites with contention long term? not. 

I think there is nothing sadder than to watch a young loving couple evolve in to an abusive older couple that has lost their way and now are just the shell that holds two enablers together.  They lost their respect for one another along the way, they stopped putting their mate before their children, they have let money destroy them. They have let age, health or lack of desire take away their intimacy, and they no longer know who one another is but they have been together so long they can't live without the other.  Love has given way to abuse, verbal and in some cases physical. The hand that once loved now does damage and brings pain. This is the sad lost marriage that tears your heart out to see, that love once so pure what has it become?  How is it that this is the marriage of one set of elders and just across the way you see the little couple that still adores one another and dotes on each other until death parts them?  Could it be that God was always the answer in any great marriage, could it be that that was the way God intended it along?  I don't know or pretend to know the secrets of marriage I am not sure there is any one answer but a unique answer for each couple just as each marriage is as unique as a snow drop.  I do know that the answer has to be love and without it comes the lost marriage, the marriage where God was abandoned along the way..... tomorrow.

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