Thursday, September 13, 2012

Were you ever a rolling stone without roots? I have been and chose not to be.

I have said before that as a child my family moved 42 times, before I was married I moved 4 more times and as a married person have moved 5 more times.  I would call that being a rolling stone.  I was watching the coverage of the DNC convention, see I did watch both, did you?  Did you watch more than one view point, I did that too, I hope you did as well.  I digress.  Anyway one of the speakers at the DNC convention spoke of how as a child he had been a rolling stone and one day his father took a stand and planted there family in one place and because of that he was able to rise to the elected position he currently holds.  It got me to thinking about how being a rolling stone or not being a rolling stone changes your life on so many levels. 

You don't think so?  Well it does and on more levels than most people think.  A child of the rolling stone persuasion I went to 13 different schools.  It never allowed for me to be a permanent friend to anyone.  I never got to have the security of knowing the teachers I would have or had as a securing force in my life.  I know some say that moving made me a more traveled child and a child of more experiences, well yes it did.  I being a good student weathered it but my sibling that were average or struggling students paid a dear price for the unbalance of education.  Oh, don't even kid yourself that schools from one town to the next are even close to being the same education as one stable school so what would make you think going to school in 6 states would be any better, no it was much harder.  People often wonder why I know a little about alot of subject or things, well my childhood helped, reading helped but shear fear of having to start all over, over and over again, probably played a part as well. 

People often wonder why I am not more out going or why I seem to be able to hibernate or walk away from situations.  Well it was easy I never got to stay and learn to be a friend for long term, 3 months here, 4 months there, 6 months, a year and a half or 4 years, does that give climate for friendship building, community building or balance?  It does give me life experience and I would not give most of it up for anything but to have been in one school, have friends I  had had since kindergarten, well I do have one of those and I call her Sister, but that is not really how it was supposed to work for most.  I may just be her friend from kindergarten as well, I know we are sisters from the start and friends from the heart but was that how it should have been?  I think probably in the long run it would have worked out that way anyway but I would have had stabilising relationships that I don't have or had to work extra hard to build as an adult.

I do know that it took me years as an adult to learn what children of a long time community have from the start.  I did have the advantage of almost always living in a small town, well there was Winslow in 1970, I digress; but for the most part we lived in similar little towns.  I did know about small town life but I had learned it from the outside and did not know it from the inside.  I have now lived in this little town for almost 33 years and believe me I know home town life from the inside thoroughly, good or bad?  I am not sure but I do know it well from both sides. 

I have learned that you never go into a town and assume anything about anyone or the tying relationships that might connect people.  You never say anything about anyone as they are probably related to any number of people and you are clueless to this.  You never assume that just because someone appears to not be connected to anyone else don't believe it.  I learned to watch, listen and study people.  I love genealogy probably because it was good to know who was who, who they were related to and who they were allies with.  I learned that siblings my not talk to one another for 30 years but you had still better not bad mouth their sister, after all they are sisters, whether they have spoken to one another for 30 years makes not a whit of difference, family is family.  You can't count on gossiping about or bad mouthing Joe because, John down the road it his third cousin and family is family.  You shouldn't talk about Sue as she went to school with Sally in kindergarten and they haven't seen each other for 13 years but you still can't speak of her in a bad light because you don't know what you are talking about and friends for life is the code of the small town. 

I do still like to watch people.  I have lived in this little town for a long time, when I moved here I was not related to anyone but Poppie.  My family moved here and my siblings married in and out of the community.  My siblings some of them went all their school years here, my kids went all their school years here and married into the community, so what makes you think I am not part of this community to the core of who I am? I am a part of the fabric of this town, no not quite as much as the person that has roots 3 or 4 generations deep but they are my kin, my friends and my companions.  Small town life is funny if you scratch me I bleed home town and some one is going to take objection to your hurting me and it may just be that new friend that you haven't got a clue is my daughter in laws sister, or my brother in laws cousin, or my sisters, I do have 7 don't you know.  Rolling stones are a funny thing most don't grow moss but some eventually come to rest and get a mossy muddy coating that grows deep roots and becomes a loved part of a small town..... tomorrow.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please leave a comment, I value your comments and appreciate your time to read my blog....