Sunday, August 26, 2012

The most important thing a father can do for his childern is to love their mother.

I have a plaque on my wall that once belonged to my father, its is something that I cherish because that is how my father raised his children.  It says, "the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother".  My fathers has loved my mother to distraction, through thick and thin, through anger and bitterness, through love and passion for well over a half century.  They are now old and my mother is not an easy person to live with all the time, but my father still loves her much more than she does him, I think sometimes, he has always been on her side even if it was not the right side.  My father loves the Lord first and loves my mother quite often more than he loves himself.  I have had a good role model in many ways, he taught his children to love their spouses and nothing less.  I think to a person we all are viciously loyal and in love with our spouses. We all will take you to task if you threaten, or hurt, our mates, my dad did know how to teach you to love unconditionally, not an easy thing but a loyal trait to have and rare in this day and age of throw away relationships. I do know that I love no one but the Lord more than I do Poppie.

I remember how people would chide me when my older kids were little and I would say to them.  "I love your dad more than I do you", and then explain to them why and that it was a different love.  They were appalled that I would tell my kids that they were loved less than I love their father.  I would look at the person doing the reproaching and say,  "my love for Poppie has to last a life time, it has to be the most important love in this house, it has only to come second to my love of the Lord.  When my kids are raised, and gone, if I have not tended to the love I have for Poppie it will have withered like a garden that didn't get taken care of and what would I have to give my children?  I love my children so therefore I love their father more than them".  They would look at me sadly and shake their heads, like I was nuts and they were sorry for me.  Sadly, I am still married to Poppie and love him more today than yesterday and can't imagine a day without him, but their marriages have long since ended and maybe even a second one.  No, loving a spouse is much more important than loving a child, different and sometimes the child needs you more in the moment but you can never love a child more than you love a spouse if it is right love of a life time.

Today the Preacher hit upon that in his sermon, somehow it was very reassuring to know my dad had taught me the right of it and we have lived a life as God wants us to, loving your spouse next to God.  The rest of his sermon was about the 5 crowns, funny how it was something Poppie and I had spoken of earlier in the week and did a little studying on.  The crown he began with is the Crown of Life.  The crown given to those who never give up, those who like Job always praise God.  Those who when trials and tribulations come still look to God and always believe in his love for them.  He told us to listen to God, if God spoke to us, then to put that into action.  I remembered, as he spoke, how many people were negative when we decided to start all over and raise two little Ladies after our own kids were raised.  We were advised of the trials that it would bring, the tribulations at our ages, I am so glad that God was right and knew we needed them in our lives and with out them were weren't complete.  God told me that I can't fix everything, something I find hard to do is not to fix those I love, but he told me I have to let my adult children fix their own lives, I can't do it.  I must remember not to try and to let them figure it out on their own, a hard thing for a momma to do.  He also told me to press forward and blog more about him, some where out there there is someone that needs my voice and I should keep trying to find them.  He said that the Crown of Glory is for those who teach as well as those who preach, being as I am not a preacher, I must have something to teach.  I do know that I have enjoyed the teaching of my children, my grands, the pseudo grands but somehow I am meant to teach someone else so I was encouraged to continue to speak here, so I shall until the Lord tells me enough.... tomorrow.

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