Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Being humble, something to strive for and something so hard to do or be......

I often read of the humble lives that both Christ and Paul lived.  I know as a Christian we are called to be humble.  I was born the oldest child and most people that know anything about big families know that humble is not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the oldest child.  I think that the single child family might just have that problem as well come to think of it.  Ever know a humble only child?  Maybe little families struggle with the oldest child lacking humbleness as well, don't really know as I was never part of a little family in my birth family or my own family.  What comprises a little family any way?  I am sure it would be different from most peoples perspective.  I thought 3 was small but some think that is a large family.  Most would agree 8 or 12 was large, I being the oldest of 8, that I was raised with, or a total of 12 when my parents had had their final count. 

I have struggled with being humble my whole life.  I remember my Grandmother Gladys and I having a conversation about hitting.  I am not sure whether I had actually hit my sibling and she was disciplining me or whether I had thought about it and gotten in trouble from my mom and she was consoling me.  Regardless of the circumstance I was in a conversation with my dear Grandmother.  She was alot like I am now she was raising her own young children and being a grandmother so she had limited time to be just a grandmother.  I really cherish the moment I remember with her that were just for me.  She was telling me that I should never have to hit a child or a sibling to get them to come around to my way of thinking.  She had already seen my sassy bossy mouth and decided that she might be able to channel it I am thinking.  She told me I should always be able to control children with my words, I remember it as mouth but no sure she actually would have said it that way.  She was as humble a person as I can say I ever knew.  My father is her son, and in ways I am his daughter, okay for those of you laughing and rolling on the floor, I am a humble person on many levels but I would suppose I am truly a work in progress.  I do know that in my  large family the closer you are to the top of the line the more you are like my father, and maybe it is because of my Grandmother Gladys, and the lower you are in line the more you are like my mother.  I can't say there is all the much that is truly humble about my mom but most strangers wouldn't know that about her.  She does the best she can I suppose as do we all in reality.  No one can live anothers life and therefore no one has the right to judge.  Okay, I have digress back to the topic.  My Grandmother in her own way was trying to teach me to be humble, to be a servant to the child I was watching, teaching or raising I suppose.  My Grandmother and my father are two of the most servant like people I know.  I am trying in my own way to do my best to serve....

Is humble the act of serving others?  Is it leading with compassion for others?  Is it being kind when you don't have to be or is it always being kind and making that your choice?  Is it letting others spread their wing with you there to catch them if they fall?   Is it leading from behind?  Is being humble about making choices that don't make sense to others?  Is it letting some one beat you up, mentally or physically, and then letting them do it again if that is what they need at the moment? with out hurting them when you know you are the stronger and could hurt them?  I am not sure what humble is to all people.  I do know that to alot of people it is something to look down on.  It makes you lesser is some eyes.  It can make you appear pathetic.  It can make you unworthy or undesirable by the judgement of others sometimes. 

I do know that when Jesus came to other it was only the beginning of his humble life.  Think of it, God come down to earth,  he left all the magnificence of heaven to be just a human.  He was not a rich person on earth he was of a poor hardworking family and learned to work.  He grew and then began to teach, he was looked down on because of where he came from.  He never sinned, not one time.  How hard and  humbling is that?  I don't know one person that does sin continually daily, even the most pious people I know falls short.  One of the first things a baby does when it come to earth is sin,  it screams or cries in anger, and I can't think it is the cleansing anger of righteousness when all the want is you to do something for them right now, this minute with not a drop of patience.  Did Jesus never cry in anger as a baby, it must be so as he never sinned once, think what a good baby he must have been.  Okay, back on track.  Jesus allowed himself to be tempted by Satan, allowed himself to be judged, beaten, mocked publicly, and in the end murdered as an innocent for all our daily sins, through it all he never sinned once.  Is that humble, yes, something not one of us can ever do.  No, not one of us. 

I am not aiming at that kind of humble, I am realist, I know that that kind of life I can never live.  I am at best a messed up, dysfunctional, sinner.  I can only strive to be humble on a little scale.  I can try to be humble to the children I spend my day with.  I can try to be humble to the friends I have.  I can try to be humble to my husband and most of all I can try to be humble to my Lord in a manner that he might find to be trying to do better.  ....... tomorrow.  

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