Do you ever have a loss for words, or do your thoughts ramble? Sometimes or not so much.

I find myself looking at this white page daily, as I have made a oath to write daily for at least one year, so far since the middle of February I have managed to keep my promise. I don't plan my blogs I let them be spontaneous, from the moment and from my heart.  I know sometimes that makes them boring or dull, but the point of my blogging is many things and playing to my audience is not at the top of the list. I write for me.  Sometimes is is much like the journal I kept when I was reading the book series "the artists way".  Sometime it is cathartic like when I journaled as I read Dr. Phil's book about lifestyle change, can't recall the name of it at this moment.  Sometimes it is a prayer to God or just talking things out with him.  Most importantly it is a journal to my children, and probably mostly for the two little ones.  The older three have no real interest in my blog, I can't say that any of the three have ever even read it.  Daughter in Law does on occasion but that is about it.  I rarely find that I am a person with a loss for words, blogging or in person.  Most anyone who knows me, knows that to be true.  Sometimes when I open the page the white stares at me as if to challenge me, I always raise up to the challenge and let my words flow.  Not always of note but always of me. 

I ramble through life in most of what I do.  I am a general planner but I am not an obsessive person in that regard. I have a simple budget that pays the bills, but I am also the daughter of my father, and know that when I really need it God will provide what I need.  I have a skeleton of a plan for my lifestyle; but the need to be flexible and go with the flow or with the heart beat of life, when it calls to me, to important  to detail my plan.  I found years ago that I had no real need for a calendar in my house, oh, I do have them but mainly for the pictures, so I can draw or carve them.  I haven't had a clock for years, not since I quit working out side of the home, I do have the TV set to come on automatically at 5:30, that helps me get the day going and during the school year get the kids to school on time. I almost never have to be anywhere at anytime, but I do like to know in advance if I have to go somewhere so I can arrange to schedule something into my non-scheduled life.  Does that even make any since, probably not but it works for me.  I do know for a fact that the major stresses are gone from our lifestyle.  I have taken it a step further by eliminating the people who want to or insist upon making my life stressful,  life is to short to purposely choose to live in stress.  Oh, I occasionally wonder where I am going to get the money for hay, or pig grain, or car parts, or pump parts but that is not the same kind of stress as letting daily crushing stress wear you down.  I find that I have become, what in my childhood was known as a hippie or flower child.  I try to live close to the earth, go with the flow, and try to stay out of the way of the man.  I know that sounds false, I do have a mortgage and none of them would have, I have a truck that eats diesel especially if you go more that 62.5 miles an hour, which I don't. We are going to make bio-diesel for it, you know it is alot like making soap come to find out. How cool is that.  Who knew when I grew up I would be a granola, in my own way.  I don't live off grid but I do know why people do. I am in the end a rambler, in words and deeds. God must have thought it was something he needed on this earth or he wouldn't have made me this way and let me succeed at it.  You couldn't imagine the wealth of useless things I know about alot of things, books, cooking, crafting, farming, fiber art, history, politics, children and life.  I look at a white blank page daily, but I always fill it up, what an analogy of my life that seems, I daily start with a white clean page with God and every day I find I fill it up with life...... tomorrow.