Gossip of little towns has always been a security blanket in my life.

I spent a great deal of my childhood being the navigator as my mom followed my dad driving a u-haul to some new place.  I learned to read a map, traffic signs, traffic and voice what I saw to aide my mom on these trips.  We drove to Arizona and New Mexico, the longest of our trips, and back.  We moved back and forth from Idaho, Oregon and Washington to Montana.  We quite often traveled in the dark as it was cooler and the kids were more likely to be asleep. I can not, to this day, sleep in a moving car, that was not my job and as my mom depended on me to aide her, she can't read a map, and keep her awake it was droned into me the importance of staying awake.  My parents always moved us to a town that was small, the biggest town I ever lived in was Winslow, Arizona, and in 1970 on route 66 it was an adventure in wonder.  It was a whole different culture and world away from what this little northwestern girl and family had ever known. I think that it recommitted my parents to staying in the little town culture.  Most of the towns I lived in were generally under a 1000 people, except for maybe Grangeville, Idaho.  I am tried and true a small town girls even if it I wasn't a one town small town girl. 

I learned a long time ago that small towns are like great big extended families.  Ever one knows your business, has an opinion about your business, tells you how to live your life, what you are doing wrong and expects you to shape up to their standards.  I do so enjoy the love of a gossipy town.  I figure I would rather have people know all about my life and personal business than if they walked over my dead body laying on the street, like I see happening in the big cities. I don't really have a true understanding of big cities, and to tell you the truth they terrify me, maybe because the only experience I personally have of them is Winslow in 1970.  Give me a little town with it's churches, bars, equal in number usually I might add, and the loving caring of its people.

This week, with all it's trouble and tribulation, brought home to me my love of a little town.  I went to town for flour for baking yesterday, and every where I went I was stopped and given condolences, love and warm affection.  I can't say how comforting that can be, all I meant felt a personal loss at my tragedy. My little town is truly a wonderful caring place to bring up my kids.  I have lived here 31 plus years, raised my adult children in one school, with a stable loving base as their home town.  My little girls are well and truly a part of this great town, they are loved by many of the people here and I know they are the better for it's strength and love for them. 

I am stronger today, than yesterday, my 5 steps of grief are playing out.  I am no longer blaming myself at the loss, I am still angry but that to is lessening, I still cry at the loss of my little friends but know that that to will go way.  I was strengthened and supported by all my friends in my small town.  Everyone I saw wanted to comfort me in my time of loss, can't beat that.  I still wonder why people chose the isolation of a big city but I guess that is a choice they make, as for me and mine, we live in and love our little town..... tomorrow.