Where does happiness come from, God, family, friends or from inside?

I sometimes find that when I have gone all out for a long time I crash, yesterday was a crash day. I think my ladies are done as well. They were pretty tired after school ended, Booboo had been sick for a week before the end of school and so wanted to attend the fun of the last week she pushed herself to return. Yogie is one of those people who seems to cycle from one extreme to another, it is hard to see but it is there if you look closely.  They were so done after the end of school I let them veg, I think Booboo slept for a couple weeks and Yogie just chilled. I didn't make, or let them, participate in the summer reading program I truly started to and they actually filled out a couple book reports but they had no joy in it, it just seemed like continuing homework and I decided that isn't how they should feel about it.  They should find joy and happiness in reading. I know I do. But where should the happiness in our lives really come from? I asked myself.

I often long for more closeness in my family, meaning my extended childhood family, my little family that includes my adult children has mostly been close knit. We have always been closer than my childhood family as a whole. I have experienced estrangement from Goofy for the better part of 3 years but it is not because we don't love her, it is because the choices in her life have been so devastating to her children that we couldn't take her side, she was an adult we had to take the side of the children.  Drama Queen has used her money and dysfunctional sense of self to make sure that Goofy stays anger at us. That is ok, Goofy is an adult, she can choose her path and we have come to terms with her choices. I digressed sorry, any way, other than that our family is very close. I can't really change the relationships with my family, oh I could, but somehow most of the relationships work, although dysfunctional, but there is a balance and I could make them worse so the status quo is all right for now.  So my happiness, in part, comes from family just not necessarily my extended family.

I find happiness in my friends but like me they all have families with family duties, obligations and regular family needs.  I think that as we age we realized that friends come and go but our families usually take priority, something as young people we don't always know. I see some people that don't spend anytime with their families looking for happiness in friends, and realize with age that family is the most important and that some friends become part of your family and some friends become acquaintances.  Friends can bring happiness.

Poppie is the love of my life, he pierced my heart the moment I meant him. I felt an instant need to protect him from the world, to make him safe and to love him.  I knew the moment I saw him he would be my destiny, I know that sounds corny but it is true.  It took him a month or so to start thinking like me but I knew it in a heartbeat.  I have never changed my hearts need for him in almost 32 years.  I am not saying he doesn't make me anger, sometimes, drive me nuts, makes me sad, but most of all he has always made me happy to the core of who I am. Poppie envelops me with happiness.

I find that happiness has to come from your inner being, oh, you can be loved and love with out being happy but how sad is that. People can increase your happiness but they can't make you happy in and of themselves. You have to find peace within yourself, you have to steer your life to happiness it won't come to you by itself or of itself.  You have to make an effort to be happy, happiness is not a free lunch.

I listened to a great Preacher this Sunday, I believe he is the current Chaplin for the United States congress, he was a wonderful speaker. He spoke of many things, was a well versed speaker and man of God. I took alot away from his sermon but in the end one of the things that stood out for me was that religion or a Church did not make you saved. Being saved came from your relationship with God. He spoke a long time and had many good messages. I find that my true happiness comes from my relationship with God. God gives me all I have, all I am and all I will be. He gave me my dysfunctional family, to love and test me, he gave me my family, He gave me Poppie, He gave me Jesus to believe in and come to him through Jesus. God is my happiness and all my happiness is of him. He increases my happiness in my family and friends. God is the great I AM..... tomorrow.