Friday, September 23, 2011

Today feeling slow and ready to stay in bed, Poppie to go to the Zoo alone.

I am going to stay in bed for a little while this morning. Mokie is no longer working and that will be nice.  I get to be Nannie, just because they want to spend time with me and not because they have to spend time with me.  Cubbie cuddled up to me yesterday afternoon and slept under my are for about three hours, her mother was not all that happy that it had been that long but it was nice to have her little hand holding mine as she slept.  Boy took a two hour nap as well.  They will be back to sneaking over when they feel the need to see us, or just coming to spend time away from mom.  Mom will call and check to see that they made it.  Cubbie made soap again with me she is utterly amazed that we cook without cooking. She will lose the wonderment soon but it is nice to enjoy it with her for the moment.

Poppie and the girls are off, he to his pain appointment and them to their learning.  I am at the age where I would like to be rid of my visits with mother nature and just wish she would go away for good.  I find the inconvenience beyond my patience.  I do like that I could share the experience with the girls.  They did need the example and I always made it an open experience for them.  When they were really little they called them mommie's diapers and felt a commonality with me.  They did learn to question why it was only once in awhile and not always wearing them like they did.  I am glad we got to share it so it was a natural part of their lives.  I remember as a child that my mom was so shy about it she never spoke to it with us girls.  We sort of knew about it from the school movies but we were actually shocked when the event came to our lives.  I was a little more open with my older girls but still wasn't comfortable with it.  I think that being a member of the Help Line helped me to conquer some of my inabilities in talking with people about any subjects.  I took sexual assault classes at MLEA to become an advocate for the state and I learned a valuable lesson I carry with me to this day. I had to learn to say PENIS, PENIS, PENIS, VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA even at the super market.  If you are uncomfortable and can't say the word how are you going to be at ease enough to help a victim.  Do you want to embarrass or hurt her more and re victimized her by your inability to even say or hear the word.  NO, and in that moment I learned that words hurt people on a different level than the just words I was raised to know hurt people.  We all know of the foul words, the racial words and the mean words, but if we can't say a word or turn red at a word we are part of the problem in aiding people who are victims or are looking to understand different things.  I would never serve an alcoholic alcohol or offer it to them but by my aversion to a word I caused pain as well; so I learned to say Penis, Penis, Penis,Vagina, Vagina, Vagina, at the deli or in the meat department and have never let words keep me from sharing or helping again. My girls are the better for it and maybe I am as well. I do like that as little farmers they know about sex, and babies.  They will not need to be taught the mechanic's, like many children will, they will need to know what emotions go with it.  I have begun to get the questions but as we have good communication lines they are at ease with the questions.  We talk about any thing they want to but only to extent of the answer to the actual question they ask,  when I answer and the answer answers the question there is no need to expound upon it or expand it beyond what they actually ask they are little and only need the answers that are appropriate to their age not beyond.  Booboo is always more advanced in her interest.  She is so much more aware of the outside world.  Yogie is much more content in her own small world.  Funny that on so many levels Booboo is the bigger of the girls, physically and mentally.  I have had the rare opportunity to raise girls that are like a set of twins. I don't mean that as a good or bad thing.  They are 13 months apart in age but they have always had to be all for each other in a way most children are never asked to be, they complete each other, share their lives closer than most fraternal siblings.  They protect each other in ways that defy my knowledge to understand how the other knew she was needed by the other.  I have always treated them the same, there was never the "you can do it when you are that age" with them and I suspect their never will be the need for that approach.  They wouldn't do it with out the other anyway.  I didn't make them like they are I just get to set back and enjoy the wonder of their growing. I did consider letting them go to school together for a long time and then one of Lady's twins, said, "why if they could be apart would you make them go together." I understood from an actual twin the longing or the need for the ability to have a distinct and separate development at friendships and life.

6 comments:

  1. I talked with my girls about periods and such when they were old enough to understand. When I started my period I never knew about periods, missed the movies in school, as we had moved about three times that year. When I did start it scared me half to death and I thought I was dying. It's a good thing I talked with my girls early too, as one of them started theirs at 9 years old. So it's a good thing to talk with your girls (and boys too), on an open level. Sister

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  2. I think its a good thing that our modern society is more accepting of the usage of the words penis and vagina. It sounds much better than hearing a child say wee wee or pee pee.

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  3. I would much rather hear a kid say the words pee pee and wee wee any day over the words penis and vagina. Kids should not be going around saying those words at a young age. Ridiculous.

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  4. I think in this day and age, penis and vagina are the approperiate way to talk to our childern. They should know the real names for their parts and not feel ashamed of them and have to call them made up or funny names. Do we call are brain our "thinker" or our mouth are "talker" no we teach them the right words for them and should do no less for any of their parts, giving children honesty and the skills to cope in this world and age are the best we can do for our kids. The world and school is hard enough to get insc with, teaching our children anything but the truth sets them up for ridicule and bullying.

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  5. Yes... your child will most definitely be ridiculed or bullied if they go to school referring to their penis, or vagina as a wee wee or a pee pee. You can be assured about that. Sister

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  6. We use the proper terms in our home. Tanner knows where his penis is. If you ask him where his wiener or any other term is he has no idea what you're talking about.
    Being only 13 months older than the twins I can understand the need to have a little bit of separateness from them... just as they need to feel a little bit of separateness from one another. Your girls will always be best friends and look out for one another. My sisters were and still are my best friends. :)

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