Saturday, September 17, 2011

Toxic people have no place in our lives and should be queitly walked away from.

I have said before that anger has been one of the things I have worked hard at getting rid of in my life.  I think I may have spent a good deal of my 20's anger at the world and didn't know why.  I have come to understand, in older age, that I had quite a few buried issues and the anger probably had little to do with what was actually going on in my 20's.  I think with the help of many of  my friends, and their wonderful advise, I am close to having control over anger.  I've known for years I rarely get anger at people I don't love or care about so for me anger has to be a personal thing.  Today something happened to me, meant to anger me, and all I could do was laugh at what the person was trying to do to me.  I had no anger at this person, pity maybe for the games they seem to think are worth pursuing and their meanness and fained innocence, but not a drop of anger,  I am so glad that prayer has brought me to the brink of conquering anger with the love and the help of the Lord.

I have had times when gossip has had a hold of my life but in the last few years I have tried to throw off the evilness of gossip and on many levels I have conquer the devils desire in me to gossip.  I just today read a wonderful commentary on gossip and this part of the commentary spoke to my heart:   Anyone can engage in gossip simply by repeating something heard in confidence. The book of Proverbs has a long list of verses that cover the dangers of gossip and the potential hurt that results from it. “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:12-13).

The Bible tells us that “a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28). Many a friendship has been ruined over a misunderstanding that started with gossip. Those who engage in this behavior do nothing but stir up trouble and cause anger, bitterness, and pain among friends. Sadly, some people thrive on this and look for opportunities to destroy others. And when such people are confronted, they deny the allegations and answer with excuses and rationalizations. Rather than admit wrongdoing, they blame someone else or attempt to minimize the seriousness of the sin. “A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:7-8).

Those who guard their tongues keep themselves from calamity (Proverbs 21:23). So we must guard our tongues and refrain from the sinful act of gossip. If we surrender our natural desires to the Lord, He will help us to remain righteous. May we all follow the Bible’s teaching on gossip by keeping our mouths shut unless it is necessary and appropriate to speak.--------------- I found comfort in this as I am trying to keep gossip out of my life.  I have decided in the last few years that I can't have toxic relationships in my life, and a gossip is a toxic relationship. 

I have tried to turn my life around and say no to relationships that are unhealthy and toxic.  Some of the people that I have put from my life are people I love but their toxic behavior is so harmful to me that I may love them but I can't have them sharing my life.  Some of the toxic relationship are people I don't personally love and find no need to continue down a toxic path, gossips are toxic and part of the people I no longer feel are good for me or my family and choose to remove them from my life.  I know that God calls us to forgive those who transgress against us, and I have no problem forgiven the toxic people in my life, I just see no reason to have them in my life.  I can't say I truly hate any one in my life, and loving people in general is something God calls us to do, I don't think that I have to like and associate with everyone though, and I don't think God calls me to do so.  I think given a minute I can find many verses that would tell me that I don't have to associate with people who cause me to be drawn away from the Lord and his will...... tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Deb you are such a good person I can't even imagine what this neighbor of yours even has to be mad at. Its her loss not yours. You are a giving person. Hers will come to her.


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