Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I guess I will never understand people, even after a lifetime of watching them.

I have always found people fascinating.  I think maybe the moving around I did as a kid made it easier to watch people than to always have to say goodbye.  I find it interesting the whenever I saw Poppie as a small child in a photos he was the little boy standing alone in the corner watching the others play never joining in.  I have always misted up at these photos, it made me so sad to see his loneliness.  I never thought I might be like that because I had a whole family of kids to play with, but a some point I was and am like that. Funny how it has only just become apparent to me in the last year.  Though, for years I have said if you know some one who has been married a longish time and you don't understand what makes them tick look to the spouse, people don't stay together long term if their philosophies aren't the same.  I know it is fun to say that opposites attract, and yes they do, but did you ever know two truly opposite people that stayed married long term.  I haven't.  I find, from watching people, that almost always couples are a pair, if they manage to stay together.  They have the same values, the same hopes for the future, the same ethics, the same qualities, the same good or bad in them.  They may not have had them when they married but if they stay together they meet in the middles where they can agree and create the lifestyle of their couplehood.  The younger they married the more alike they are as they have grown into themselves together.  You hear all the time that a couple that are married a long time grow to look like each other, I agree, but the looking alike that I see is in there beliefs and the way they do things.  Therefore in the light when you just can't figure out someone and wonder why they do things look at the spouses actions, and you just might have a clearer picture and understand the person just a little more, it is truly enlightening insight, just try it once.

I am and have been an avid reader almost all of the my life, my father never read novels but I loved all books. I had read all of Mark Twain, Laura Ingalls Wilder and was well on my way to all of Charles Dickens by the time I was in 5th grade.  A fairly good accomplishment at the young age.  Maybe I had lots of time, from the moving around and new friendships were hard... hmmm?  I digress.  I learned in 1997 that Novels were an addiction that I could no longer afford.  I have not read a novel since, no, I don't count the children's book and the classics I read to my children and grand children regularly; but to sit and read a novel I don't.  I do read my bible, and I have continued my love of non-fiction that I was given as a child.  I read, biographies between the Dickens and the Twain, I truly love them.  I read Henry the V111 in 7th grade and yes, there was intrigue but it was 8 hundreds pages of a lot of dry reading.  I have never been able to leave a book unread, somehow if I don't finish the book they stay stuck there in time so on I read.  I found right after I stopped reading novels that I have a compelling need to read psychology books and self help books.  I went to the UM books store and bought the then current psychology text book they were teaching at the time.  I found it fascinating, it really helped me put a name to the people I had always watched.  I also developed a fascination for Sigmund Freud.  I read all of this works, 3 times, I found them complicated and hard to understand at points so ended up rereading them alot.  I also read his biography by Gray that was really interesting.  I have since read Jung and others that came after all added to my concept of people watching.  Recently I read Darwin's Origin of Species, interesting but I  haven't thrown out my Bible,  it is always interesting to see the point of view of others even if you don't agree on all aspects.

Recently I have been studying up on passive aggressive people and that lead me to histrionic personality both interesting and insightful personality disorders.  The study of them as helped me understand  some of the people I have had to deal with this year.  It is always good to understand what you are up against in this life.  You can't deal with things in general if you have no understanding of the mechanism that drives it.  I intend to interact more with people this year as my resolution but I don't intend to stop watching people or reading my books, what would be the point... tomorrow.

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